Toll on health - stress, nightmares, etc.

[lillymarlene]

I know what you mean about being tired of robbing peter to pay paul.. Im so tired of this roller coaster.. If Chapter 13 means some kind of order and freedom from this crazy cycle - i'll take it.

I was like you too, last year and you're right, this is the only way, short of winning the lottery, to break the crazy cycle. After I filed it just seemed so peaceful. I'm still living "hand to mouth," I have to watch every cent, but it's worth it.

Good luck and best wishes!

[Drazil65]

But don't you think that it would be more ethical to tell your creditors that you expect to have a higher income down the road, so that if they were not to just sue you, you would be able to pay them back in full, and not file BK (or only file if one of your creditors sues you)?

Thank you for bringing this to our attention, we absolutely tried to do what was right (for them in most cases) by keeping our payments current when we had no money to pay them (husband had 2 lay offs in 10 months time), all it did was get us further and further into this mess. We tried to do what was right for 10 months straight by calling the creditors and asking for a hardship plan, a forebearance, a little mercy, a little anything to get us through the worst of it. You know what we got? Nothing, we were current so no one was talking to us, we did not qualify for anything, they did not want to hear it. We cried, we fought, we put our marriage and family on the line all to make it right for them, they were first for a very long time.

My husband will be gainfully employed at some point next year (God willing), who knows what will happen to my job (2 weeks ago my salary was cut to "save my job"), I refuse to put them first any longer. We have sacrificed and just plain suffered through these last 2 years and when we are both working again it will be just for us, our family. Sorry if I sound harsh or "unethical" but we are done with it, over, no more homes (we will rent gladly), no more CC's, we will pay cash for our vehicles and everything else in the future. I am not filing because I can pay my CC off as I did not have much in my name and neither of our homes are in my name (they are both for sale). I will let go of my health insurance come January 1st through my employer because we cannot afford to keep it with my decrease in salary, I will make sure my husband continues to have insurance as well as our child but that is all we can afford at this point and mine is the most expensive. Do you think the CC companies would help us out with that issue? I just this week signed our child up for free school lunch (because we qualify since my salary was cut) when it starts next week so that we can cut back on some groceries because my salary was cut that much. My husband is working a part time job around his school and clinicals and it pays for gas for both of us each week (I work in another city so gas is a big expense for us), our cars are 9 and 10 years old with bald tires on both. We own our decision to file and for once it is only about us and what WE need to do as a family.

[IamOld]

Drazil, you are 1000% correct - to put family etc after some leech of a creditor who got their principal back ten times over, is nuts. It almost cost me my sanity, my marriage, etc. Never again. NEVER EVER again.

[my2girls]

Your story sounds like ours...house, 2 cars, simple summer vacations, 2 beautiful girls living the dream...2 layoff's (Husband in IT and job offshored twice) 1 Layoff for me the spiral began. I too obsess over this site pouring over information. I am scared to death about what the future holds, trying to hold on to our home which we are so upside down on but don't want to lose, the strain on our marriage has been beyond what we've ever experienced. NEVER, thought at this stage of the game we'd be in this position. We have to wait until October to file. I law suit already filed, I think there's another coming from Wells Fargo. I just want this nightmare to be over and have some sort of normalacy back in our lives. My kids keep asking why we keep getting to many toll free calls, etc., etc., etc., I'm so up and down I feel like I need to be medicated. Soooo, you are not alone! This forum has been a Godsend and the people on her have been incredible sources of information. Sending you my good wishes that everything goes quickly and flawlessly for you and your family.