Post 341 meeting depression and reality check

[fileda13]

The 341 meeting itself was nothing. I sat in a room with other filers, I was third person called and wasn't asked anything other than to verify what the attorney had filed (I cannot reiterate enough how I feel getting an attorney is the way to go).

The hardest part of the 341 meeting was realizing where I was in life. This isn't about pointing a finger at the economy or myself looking for reasons why I was in a federal building in a 341 meeting room, but just a simple look in the mirror. It's not a place I ever imagined I would be.

I felt humbled, moreso than ever before. Here I am, a college educated man. I'm not a brilliant man but I believe I am smart. In the financial aspect of my life I just got beat, and I'm a financial professional (there must be some irony there). I always thought I could win my battles on my own, but not this time. I needed help from a government program.

No I'm not depressed where I am going to jump of a bridge. It was a moment of time, a time to reflect. I can honestly say I was down on myself and had a feeling of low self esteem. I will pick myself up, and I have the support of family around me. It was just hard officially crossing the bridge. I didn't consider sitting in the attorney's office that moment, but I certainly felt that moment in the 341 meeting room.

Tomorrow is another day.

[Photomom]

My 341 is tomorrow and I am nervous! I too, am in the financial industry and feel totally humiliated. I also worry about the adverse affect this may have on my job and my future opportunites but right now I guess this is my only answer. Good Luck to you!

[AbbeyA]

Fileda13 - Your description of how you feel is very raw, real, and probably true to what we have all felt at one time or another. As the old saying goes "This, too, will pass." At some point, you will start to let the sadness and sense of failure lift from your shoulders -- it won't be overnight, but it will lift.

Hang in there, stay close to the ones you love. It will all work itself out in time.

[IamOld]

Best wishes to all - and I know this is easier said than done, please don't beat yourselves up!

[tobee43]

yes, indeed, a 341 is quite a humbling. the guilt, the fears, tears...and frankly shame we feel.

but the truth is, it's because we have what's call a conscience and care and have always taken responsibility for ourselves until we couldn't anymore. it's a hard reality for certain. but here's the truth of it all. you are NOT alone, as you can tell my this forum. there is no ecomonic or social barriers here. some had extremely high paying managment jobs, others worked their butts off hauling cocrete or cutting lawns, but we are ALL now in the same boat. bottom line is we are all human beings ..we can make it through it. promise!

[JackBondLove]

The hardest part of the 341 meeting was realizing where I was in life. This isn't about pointing a finger at the economy or myself looking for reasons why I was in a federal building in a 341 meeting room, but just a simple look in the mirror. It's not a place I ever imagined I would be.

I felt humbled, moreso than ever before. Here I am, a college educated man. I'm not a brilliant man but I believe I am smart. In the financial aspect of my life I just got beat, and I'm a financial professional (there must be some irony there). I always thought I could win my battles on my own, but not this time. I needed help from a government program.

No I'm not depressed where I am going to jump of a bridge. It was a moment of time, a time to reflect. I can honestly say I was down on myself and had a feeling of low self esteem. I will pick myself up, and I have the support of family around me. It was just hard officially crossing the bridge. I didn't consider sitting in the attorney's office that moment, but I certainly felt that moment in the 341 meeting room.

Tomorrow is another day.

As I was slowly swirling down the BK toilet, living on $1.5K/mo & $4K/mo debt service (!) completely from savings with NO income (actually negative income as my stocks went down the tubes in the Great Recession), I came to view BK as this inevitable thing that I would have to do if somehow I couldn't get my formerly lucrative business back to earning a profit (as my business was simply hiring myself out, there was no business expenses when I was not hired out.) I certainly did not consider myself a failure for not being able to find work - only the victim of a brutish, outdated capitalistic system in the beginning of its death throes (I forsee some sort of capitalistic-Marxist system coming very soon) that cannot supply enough proper jobs to its labor force (mainly because of the outsourcing and foreign worker visas whose main effect is to make Americans unemployable.)

Once I came to terms that BK was a very distinct possibility, I then researched and figured out the best way to play my hand - to maximize what I can walk away with, while minimizing the effects. I looked back with pride the way that I had let my unsecured debt build up (all at low teaser rates, bouncing from one balance transfer to another) while saving my cash instead of paying the debt down - it gave me the opportunity to buy exempt assets like a house and furniture, and keeping it through BK (Chapter 7.)

I proudly applied for Food Stamps (as for the first time since I was a minor I had less than $2K in the bank!), even boasting about my graduate engineering degree from Georgia Tech to my case worker. I began to view the whole system as just a big game, and sticking it to my creditors and eating on Uncle Sam's tab as part of it - and loving every minute of it. Obviously Uncle Sam feels that it is the best interest of the USA to let jobs go abroad, so I have become a Marxist, confiscatory-taxes-on-the-wealthy radical. This has given me an immense sense of pride.

[mdl]

Our 341 was today. No problems. I told my DH late this afternoon that I felt like someone died.
But its just a part of my life that has died. The part that got me here in the first place will no longer exist.
I looked around the room at all the people in there. Young, old, middle aged like us, black, white, educated, uneducated.
We were all the same. Humbled.

[tobee43]

Jackbondlove:Obviously Uncle Sam feels that it is the best interest of the USA to let jobs go abroad, so I have become a Marxist, confiscatory-taxes-on-the-wealthy radical. This has given me an immense sense of pride.

if more people were completely truthful, that would admit they feel the same sentiments on the situation. i for one will openly admit it...i'm with you!

[IamOld]

if more people were completely truthful, that would admit they feel the same sentiments on the situation. i for one will openly admit it...i'm with you!

Tobee is right - look, what happened in the USSR wasn't what Marx wanted...actually in Karl Marx's UTOPIAN vision of the future, all leaders would be elected for ONE year terms and could serve only ONCE.

...we have nothing to lose except our chains...

[tobee43]

now if we can just get yet ANOTHER REAL people's party going, maybe this country will get somewhere.

[JackBondLove]

now if we can just get yet ANOTHER REAL people's party going, maybe this country will get somewhere.

If the national vote compact isn't in effect in 2012, since my state will NOT be going for Obama, I will be voting for the Communist Party candidate. I would recommend that anyone in a similar circumstance (i.e., a state that is on the Republican side, such that enough other states more Democratic would have already gone for Obama) vote CPUSA as well. -> cpusa.org

[tobee43]

If the national vote compact isn't in effect in 2012, since my state will NOT be going for Obama, I will be voting for the Communist Party candidate. I would recommend that anyone in a similar circumstance (i.e., a state that is on the Republican side, such that enough other states more Democratic would have already gone for Obama) vote CPUSA as well. -> cpusa.org

well actually i'm leaning more toward the Marxist way of life at this point. now, if i could just locate a candidate i'd be in voting mode.

[discouraged]

I worked with American Indian Reservations for over 4 years and that is the one thing they do; the leaders have 1-2 year terms. In one sense it's hard because there is constant campaigning, on the other hand, they really are hard at work to make the most use of the time they have in office.

Gosh, no wonder there was such a push to force them on reservations.

[msm859]

Best wishes to all - and I know this is easier said than done, please don't beat yourselves up!

Actually once I made the decision it was very easy. This was a business decision. Once you accept that and take the emotion out of it all you have to do is analyze it from a business perspective. What are the total costs of going bk - atty fees + costs + increased borrowing costs + potential missed opportunities vs amount discharged. For me it was a six figure savings. My credit had already been damaged because of going through the home loan modification process so that made the decision a little easier. Neither the banks, corporations or the government care about us so why do we care about them? They are now brain washing the simple minds with their commercials about "protecting your fico score". The real problem is that they never amended the bankruptcy laws to allow people to include the mortgage on their 1st home so that the judges could cram down your loan -- and really get the banks to modify loans. Yes, the rich can include their second homes, yachts, exotic cars etc. but the common man with only 1 house cannot. So no I don't feel bad.