Temptation to spend just after filing - did any of you fight these mind games?

[fileda13]

My wife has been asking me for several months for a Barnes & Noble Nook book ready. SHe likes to read and doesn't like the "collection". Well it all hit the fan and I filed. I have some cash stashed away for a trip that was planned many months ago. The Nook is $139 plus with tax and cover and a few books will probably be around $200.

The Temptation - Guilt. Yes my wife had a part it this filing, but I have been responsible for the books for our entire marriage, plus I just plain and simple spent more money on toys than she ever did.

So here goes the spending and justification mind, a mind that must now be in the past in order for the Chapter 13 to work......"Just one more purchase. And it's not even for me, it's for my wife. She's been sick for a year and has been suffering and doesn't ask for much. She wants this. She deserves it."

In the immortal words of Dr Zachary Smith - "Oh, the pain....the pain!"

[newbie2]

It takes a while to get in to the "needs vs wants" mind frame. The "wants" take a back seat 95% of the time now. A Kindle or a Nook? I would love one. However during the life of our Chapter 13 plan the library has been someplace that I frequent.

Edited to add: Purchasing items just for pleasure is fine, as long as you have a comfortable savings built up for emergencies. We have made it through our 5+ year plan by making darned sure that we have money tucked aside for all those things that happen: Appliance repair or replacement, larger auto repairs, etc.

[ValleYum]

The initial outlay isn't the big expense with the Nook. It's the "I want all and I want it now" ability to just spend $10 for a book right when you want to read it (imagine in the voice of Veruca Salt from Willie Wonka). 5 years is a long time use that Nook essentially as a paperweight. My comment was made with the tough love you are gonna need in the "needs versus wants game"

[Pandora]

"Just one more purchase. And it's not even for me, it's for my wife. She's been sick for a year and has been suffering and doesn't ask for much. She wants this. She deserves it."

And therein lies the problem - she may want it and she may deserve it.. but does she NEED it? Like the others have stated, until you change your mindset (and hers) of the "need vs. want" and instant gratification - you will never get through your Ch. 13 plan. You have to set aside that money every single month for bills that are due throughout the year - and if you cannot pass up this temptation - you will definitely not be able to pass up the temptation of having $500-1000 lying around in envelopes waiting for a bill to come due. You'll try to justify using it with "I'll replace it...next month" yet when the time comes, you wont.

Christmas is coming - birthdays, anniversary's, mother's day, etc etc etc. Set aside $20 a pay day right now and in a few months, you will have the $ to pay for it in full w/out touching any reserves.

[AngelinaCatHub]

It will take a while to break bad habits. We once had the ability to drop a hundred just to help another person. Now we need the help as a hundred is big money to us now. It used to be pocket change, and I find in my mind, that this is a tough habit to release. Look around at others and see what is happening and all the empty houses, then feel lucky you have what you have.

If she needs a book nook, some bricks and some boards and imagination will suffice rather than dropping a hundred for a made in China put together particle board piece of junk. 'Hub


EDIT: I was just informed that the booknook is a reader like the Kindle. My bad. So, scratch what I said about the shelves, and get her a big magnifying glass and a paper book instead. Will have the same effect and you still save money. LOL Goes to show you, I don't know it all.

[momofthree]

I cannot stress how imperative saving is in the early days of a ch.13. Your plan is sure to fail if you cannot change your mindset and learn to save. Murphy WILL show up at your door. Your car will need routine maintenance--maybe even a large repair over the next 5 years; as will your home. Medical expenses will most likely appear out of nowhere. Home appliances will quit. Gas prices will rise, etc. etc. You NEED to have money set aside for these issues, and once you do and you want to spend $100 here or there, then enjoy, but right out the gate, savings needs to be your #1 goal.

As an example, I'll use myself. We saved up $4000 over the last 16 months (may seem like chump change to some, but is the largest amount of money we've ever had in savings in our life!). In that time, we've had to take money from that fund repeatedly and re-build it up. In fact, just last month, $1500 in expenses came up all at once!
$650 car maintenance and minor repairs (hoses, belt, etc)
$500 computer literally caught fire and had to be replaced (I take online classes from my local college so this one is a necessity or I wasted all that money on tuition!)
$100 kitchen window got broken and had to have the glass replaced (BOYS!)
$150 microwave gave up the battle and died.
$100 co-pay for a trip to the ER when a camping trip resulted in surgical tick removal from my 5-year-old (fun times!)

As for your wife's love of books, the library is a wonderfully free resource! I've definitely re-discovered my love of the library.

[lillymarlene]

I am 9/48 months into my 13 and for what it's worth, I can see it's "the needs vs wants mindframe" that may get me through it. I've decided to pinch pennies until I get scars on my hands. :-) I've always been a big reader, and now the library is one of my favorite places, too. A family memeber has a vegetable garden, and that sure helps out. I've even revived the 100 year old art of darning socks. The air conditioning in my car, needs "recharging" my car's like a little oven, but maybe I can get used to riding with the windows open...I agree with some of the others here, the wants will just have to take a backseat most of the time.

[chicagoed195]

Once you have been in the 13 for a while and have built up a little reserve fund, decisions like that are easier to make, but Pandora has it right. Put away $20 here and there. Give up the Starbucks coffee or a lunch here and there. Soon you will have the funds available to make a special purchase, without endangering your ability to fund your plan payments.

[chicagoannie]

I filed a 7, but still....once I am employed, there will be NO wants purchased until I have 6 months of living expenses on hand, in cash in the bank. My kids have done without so so much these past couple of years, and there is a lot of guilt on my part, feeling like I have not properly provided for them, and I would love to go out and get each one one special item once I have a paycheck. But then I remember that no one has gone hungry, homeless or naked, even through these tough times, and I will not let wants ever put me in the situation of being unable to meet needs!

[moe]

chicagoannie--This is the hardest thing to read. It is going to be SO hard to not give my kids anything nice. I think about her Kung Fu classes. I really can't deal with her not being able to take Kung Fu anymore.

It's really that bad? They don't leave you anything in your payment plan for extras for your kids? I thought we would just be paying less to credit card debt--or maybe even close to the same.

Dang.

[karm43]

Reserve fund? How? Will they leave me any money if i file chap 13? wish i had some dependents.

[helpmeout]

If you can't afford it, then you can't afford it. The holidays are coming, you can try and save for a device similar to the Nook. What I would do is find out if your local library has e-books (you can download a book onto a device and it automatically disappears when check out time is over) and what device it is compatible with. This way she can read to her hearts content without actually buying the books.

[sunshinepa]

While everyone understands your wish to give you wife what she wants, look at the long road. When she finishs the books you get, she will need more, it will be an ongoing expense. Everyone here has the right mindset, the library. If that does not work, look on Ebay. I sold many of my books for next to nothing on there (lots of 30 or more) with a start bid of 99 cents. People got the really cheap. Also, try getting them at yard sales. I just purchaed 8 books and paid a whopping quarter a piece for hours of reading.

Since you have not had your 341 yet, you don't even know what your payment will be for sure. If I was in your shoes, I would not spend the money until I knew exactly where I stood after the 341 and confirmation. Of course, that's my opinion only and I am in no way judging you.

Good luck whatever you decide!

[discouraged]

Even after my 341 I asked my attorney - and all of you - if it was alright to buy a foodsaver (vacuum bag sealer). It was a $100 on sale but that thing has saved me tons of money as I can buy on sale and freeze things. But, after having saved for the lawyer for so long, it took me a long time to decide it was a necessary exxpense.

That's my new way of thinking. Research, make sure it is a need/not a want and then buy it without guilt.

Also, I love to read too and I am lucky that the Goodwill close to me has 15 cent books for sale on Wednesdays and since that is also Senior's Day, I get an extra 25% off. I used to buy them and then give them back but , at least for the summer, will have yard sales and sell them cheap. Wish I knew how to do the ebay thing.

[jange]

You can get a reconditioned Nook on Barnes & Noble website for less. Since BN came out with a new Nook you can get the old version cheaper. You can also download ebooks from the library for free. You not need to pay $200 for books. BN also has a free book every week. Yes, I do have a nook and love it, but I also saved for it.
As everyone else has said, you need to plan your expenses and make sure you have money saved for emergencies first.
Right after our 341 meeting we have a major car repair and then the water heater went. This year another car repair bill. All paid for out of my savings.
Life happens and you need to plan for that.
18/60 payments done!