Lifestyle changes now that I've filed - I have a few questions (looking for advice)

[fileda13]

So now I filed. So now I have to be smart and stick to a realistic budget. The obvious things I won't be doing are cruises or buying a new stereo systems etc (large ticket items - live with what I have). There are a few things I have a question about, and I suppose the bottom line being now that I got myself here and need to change, how close to 100% do I have to give up things I've done up to this point? I also know I now need to build up a reserve for rainy day items such as major car repairs or broken appliances in the house etc over the next five years. It's hard for my wife to - she doesn't want to stop living completely. So assuming I can take my CPA knowledge and adhere to a realistic budget with saving, yet wanting not to become 100% housebound -

I am not a huge gambler, but I used to go to Mohegan Sun (maybe averaging once a month at best). My night would be my wife and I going to the buffet dinner ($40), and me usually losing $50 sitting at the bar having a few free drinks (my wife never loses more than $20). We considered this our night out as we don't go out that often. Always used available cash for this. Does this have to stop completely? Is it a frowned upon activity (of course it looks to me that it would be).

Entertainment - occassional movies, restaurants, concerts - how much or how little of these things?

If non essential items do break such as a TV or other non business electronics, can or should they be replaced? For instance, I have an iPod I use in my car for music. If it breaks do I get another one to replace it? It's important to me - I listen to music all day. But I know it isn't essential.

Those are just a few examples. I walk into my Chapter 13 with this mentality. If I don't need it, don't get it. But I do want to have some social life with my wife, meaning maybe going out to eat or have a drink or Mohegan Sun etc. We are all different and all lived certain ways up to our filings, and we all need to change.

[IamOld]

I'll tell you for me the spouse is the problem - you've got to make sure yours understands that you simply cannot be doing this the way you used to. That doesn't mean that you necessarily have to live like monks.

I have a 3.5 commute (or more) per day. I pay$90 for 6 months of xm for our cars. Otherwise I'd go nuts. I need to listen to my BBC.

[discouraged]

When things 'broke' in the year prior to and leading up to the bk, I shopped at thrift stores for the nonessential items. No, I'm not talking ipod but I did find a decent tv for next to nothing. And I bought things only when they were on sale for a very reasonable price if it was an item that had to be gotten new.

It's a new way of thinking. A new way of living. But, satisfying when you can just put down the money and not use a card. Why not look into 2 for 1 dinners? Google Cheapskate and see what's out there.

Good luck on your new life!

[LadyInTheRed]

The key is to set a budget and stick to it. Once you budget for the necessities, the rest is up to you. The budget should include saving for emergencies and the purchase of big ticket items you need. You can even include savings for what you want but don't need. Make a list of your needs and wants and set savings goals. Your budget should also include recreation and entertainment. If you want to spend part or all of that at a night at the casino, that's fine. I like to play craps, but it's been a long time since I have. I always decide a head of time how much I am willing to lose and don't take any more money than that to the table. If I get to a point where I am quite a bit ahead, I put that original amount back in my pocket. If I lose all of my winnings and it's still early in the evening, I can go back into my pocket. But, I can also make the decision that I've had a good evening of entertainment and quit while I'm even or ahead.

As far as your Chap 13 is concerned, how you spend your money is up to you as long as you make your plan payment and any secured debt payments you are paying directly. After your plan is confirmed, nobody is going to compare your actual spending to your Schedule J.

[discouraged]

That's refreshing Lady. I was getting down on myself today because I thought I should be further ahead than I am and then I realized, DUH - you paid the lawyer 1800 and the court 299. So, yes, in essence I did save and now I have 2000 in the bank. I'm still on UI (not been able to find a job but not giving up), and I will need every penny until I DO find work.

I have figured out what I will need for the, hopefully, 6 months until BOA forecloses and that just stays in the bank. You are right, budget and stick to it.

But - I am planning on one night at the casino once my case closes - it's discharged but not closed yet, and one bottle of champagne. I haven't done either for over 2 years and it will be time. I will take just a certain amount of money and then that will be it.

[Flamingo]

The reason most Chapter 13's fail is because the filers just cannot learn to adjust their lifestyle from their former lifestyle. If you want your Chapter 13 to work, you have to realize that you have to learn to budget and then budget some more, save whatever money you can and learn to give up things that you actually really don't need or need to do. When you learn to budget, you will learn how much money you were throwing out the window before and you really actually feel stupid after a while that you allowed your money to be used like that (I could have kicked myself after a while after realizing where large sums of money was going and what I could have done with that money). I have stated for years on this forum that a Chapter 13 is the best budget teacher in the world. Use it to your advantage to learn and change your ways - the payoff comes after your discharge, you will see.

[kjrmom911]

I couldn't agree with Flamingo more. We have just started, but I already started trimming the fat a few months ago. At first I couldn't imagine life without my iphone, but once I made the jump I realized how much time I had been spending relating to my phone rather than others. I don't miss it. I just cancelled my xm radio and I have rediscovered my cd's. I miss my satellite radio, but I have better uses for the hundred dollars. I also cancelled all my extras on my cable and just have the basics. It's an adjustment, but I think we will be better off for it in the end. I really hope I teach my kids that what is important is the time we spend together not the things we buy.

[momofthree]

Starting off in the ch.13, your #1 goal needs to be saving up an emergency fund. For the first few months, I strongly recommend forgoing the casino trips or much recreation as you build up your savings cushion. I guarantee you that if you a/c breaks or hot water heater springs a leak, or your car suddenly goes ka-put, and you don't have that money saved, you will REGRET that you wasted money on recreational activities. You will not have credit to fall back on. You NEED cash on hand more than you need an expensive night out.

Once you have a set amount of money in savings, and decide you want to loosen your belt and spend some money at the casino, then enjoy!

You may even find, however, that there are much cheaper alternatives to that pricey night out, and you may prefer to keep saving....We've discovered that a big bottle of Lambrusco and board games or cards at home with friends is more fun than we ever had going out to expensive dinners and such. And a completely free "night walk" with the kids is more fun than a trip to the movies where we spend $50 to sit in a dark room and ignore one another for 2 hours.

[fslady]

Flamingo said it all! BK13 forces you to re-evaluate what you want out of life and if your previous spending habits are accomplishing it (or not). We cut waaaay back on eating out and in good weather grill out enough meat and veggies for several days. Before BK13 my big luxury was books, books, and more books. Now I re-read favorites and visit our local library for books and movies. I have more in an emergency fund than I've had in years - it's still not much, but more than before.
And I have 7 payments left out of 60!

[feelingnutsy]

Besides all of these excellent points---ask yourself---how much is enough?
This may seem like a too-open question---but it has certainly helped me
to take stock of what I've got---and see what I actually want---and I'm
glad to say that in most ways now---I'm a minimalist---it's more covering
my needs---and allowing for a few wants here and there---an occasional
movie---a short trip from time to time---since I believe in a treat now and then.

[jetsfan2010]

One thing that I realize regarding when I filed for my 13(and the reason it failed) was that the all important "emergency savings" was not sufficent for when those emergencies pop up. When not in BK, it was easy to pull out a credit card, or take advance off a line of credit when the tire went flat, or the washing machine broke. In a 13, you have to rely on setting aside money and building up a good nestegg. You also have to be disciplined enough to realize that money if offlimits. Ive seen some people that are "spenders" and some are "savers". You have to become a saver in a 13, and if you dont naturally do that, thats a life change you will need to make to be successful.