Limbo Nightmare Hell

[Isobel]

Been in financial doo-doo for several years. Plan on filing July 1st. Not sure yet whether I qualify for Ch 7. Living in my house all alone, after a 8 year relationship ending and a good friend/roommate moving out. It is empty in here. Luckily I have a job that's decent enough, but very isolated there for various reasons.

My friends seem distant lately, like they just can't deal with what's going on in my life. My parents don't know anything about it. Dad is 89, Mom 87 - dementia, extreme physical challenges. They don't need to know.

I don't think I'm felt this alone in my whole life.

Just venting.... thanks for listening.

[debee]

There are forum members who have a knack for comforting others, but unfortunately for you I'm not one of them. I do know that even though you have a perception of being alone, that's only because you can't see all of us from your side of the screen. None of us are going through the bk experience alone. We're all here for each other.

You can determine whether you qualify to file chapter 7 here. If you do not "pass" the test the first time you take it, don't give up. Some times you have to review your finances, shuffle things a bit, buy a car, etc in order to make it work.

A good's night sleep and every morning is a fresh start full of possibilities. Hang in there.

[Isobel]

Oh debee - you don't give yourself enough credit. Whilst maybe you're not a warm and fuzzy type, you have your own way of being there that's just as valid and effective as those who have the "knack"...

My newly hired attorney agrees I'm on the Ch 7/13 border (hence the title of this post) and he's waiting for the numbers I will dutifully crunch this weekend for the Schedule I/J stuff you had told me about before - then I'll have a better idea. Part of me does NOT want to know.... I find some odd comfort in NOT knowing that I'll be shackled for five years... and buying bras at Goodwill (I think your very appropriate words).

Being alone in the is house is the worst of it. But I recently acquired 4 new "roommates." Last week, I took a neighborhood feral cat in to the Humane Society to get spayed. Poor thing was begging for food at my door every day. Much to my surprise, they told me she was nursing - there were kittens out there somewhere! I frantically searched the neighborhood, wondering if they were still alive, not knowing how old they were, and luckily, my neighbors found them: three 4-week old little furballs. I've been taking care of them and it's been a real treat stepping outside this BK limbo hell to take care of these little truly helpless creatures. Makes for a bit of perspective, I s'pose.

[Unibrow]

Good luck with everything. Hopefully you can qualify for chapter 7 and get a fresh start.

[debee]

... and buying bras at Goodwill (I think your very appropriate words).

LOL. I remember now. I probably shouldn't have said that because there are numerous chapter 13 people on the forum (most, I believe) who are not only doing just fine in their 13s, they're thriving. They have built up emergency funds, they've developed fantastic money mgmt skills, they're finding ways to have modest getaways and the stress has been replaced with routine and the knowledge that they have a set time and then it's all done. If you search the forum for those good stories, you'll find them. Meow.

[keepsmiling]

Isobel, lots of cat people on the boards- check out some of the avatars My crazy cat lady friend does rescue and currently has 24 of them. Yikes.

Glad you found some company and some distraction. Lord knows we need to think about something besides our financials. My dh keeps asking me what I will obsess about when this is finally over-- I am sure I can find something....

Sending some coast to coast hugs and comfort. If you are anywhere near my age (50-ish) you may remember the kitty- hanging- from- the- tree poster--"hang in there". Keep posting and chatting here. It does a world of good to know you aren't really alone.

ETA: I bought a bra the other day at Marshall's for 4.50. A good one too.

[BrokeInCali]

Ya'll just reminded me I really, really need to go bra shopping!

[LadyInTheRed]

KITTIES!!!!!!!!

lol. I remember now. I probably shouldn't have said that because there are numerous chapter 13 people on the forum (most, i believe) who are not only doing just fine in their 13s, they're thriving. They have built up emergency funds, they've developed fantastic money mgmt skills, they're finding ways to have modest getaways and the stress has been replaced with routine and the knowledge that they have a set time and then it's all done. If you search the forum for those good stories, you'll find them. Meow.

debee, you insipred me to finally create a signature.

I have no time to tell my good Chap 13 story right now because I gotta go get in line so I can get a good spot on the lawn at the Peter Garbriel concert tonight. A good Chap 13 plan and careful budgeting allows such pleasures now and then!

[IamOld]

Best wishes Isabel - I feel what you say - as I feel very alone too from time to time - BUT listen to everyone above, and take care of the kitties!!! I myself have one psychotic cat - truly psychotic :-) He was a rescue - was "returned" twice - we're his third home :-)

Also...a business point - if you support your Mom or Dad, that is a "deduction" on the Means Test!!!!

[lillymarlene]

Isobel, Good luck and good luck with your kitties, too. Some of my best cats have been my rescues.

And, though it's only been 8 months, being in a 13 if you have to, is not all that bad. You may learn to question every little expense, shop at least 2 different grocery stores to get the best prices and seperate those needs from wants, but that is not neccessarily a bad thing.

[Pandora]

Hang in there Isobel - it gets better, and love those little furballs Thank you for rescuing them!

Goodwill bra's... nope, nada, nein, and a hell no! LOL OMG you guys make me laugh at the visions of CH. 13 plans I dont care HOW destitute things get, I will never ever ever buy my "lady wear" used.... ewwwwwwww - just seems so .... unsanitary. *shivers*

[debee]

I bought a used bra when I was volunteering years ago in a small African village. The only western clothes for sale there were used things from Europe. I just washed it before use. It was fantastic. The tag was blank but the fit was excellent. People do what they have to do and things work out.

But I'd rather go 'free in the breeze' than wear anything used downstairs. That just creeps me out.

[Pandora]

LOL debee... well I suppose if thats the ONLY thing around.. then possibly I would... but... I dunno. I think I'd rather go commando all the way around and say I'm a flower child

I hear ya on the creeping out thing.. OMG I freak out when I have to try bathing suits on! ROFL!!!!!!!!! I keep EVERYTHING on...makes for interesting and difficult bathing suit fittings thats for sure! Which brings up the point that men dont know how good they have it do they? No over developed leg muscles, purse around the neck, holding the door that wont lock with one foot / hand...... *snickering*

[iswmle]

Boy, Isobel, your post brings back long forgotten feelings. My BK was discharged in 2010, but '09, '10 were the worst years of my life, emotionally. Went through a divorce, going from a house to an apartment, being far away from my mother and brother, trying to complete school and not having enough money for gas or food. The feeling of being alone back then was overwhelming. Spent many a nights crying myself to sleep or burying my head in the sand. If it wasn't for my cat I seriously think I would have gone crazy. I had too much pride to ask my mom for help. Thank God the job I had at the time paid weekly. I took the very last bit of my savings and filed BK. Easily one of the best decisions of my life.

Fast forward one year later. Graduated school, decent job, a growing savings account... it has occurred to me only recently that I have... for the first time in my life... stopped living paycheck to paycheck. Of course money is still tight, and I am anal about budgeting, but I no longer worry about getting food, gas, putting cash away for the future. I filled up my tank the other day, it cost $46, didn't blink an eye... I use to stress about gathering up $5 for gas. I am not bragging, I do not mean to brag. Sometimes I am still amazed that I managed to pull myself from the rubble that was once my life.

Isobel, look at your BK as a second chance. Hugs to you, the feeling of loneliness will not last forever!

[sunshinepa]

Hang in there Isobel. It will get better regardless of a 7 or 13. At last you will know there is light at the end of the tunnel. I understand the living alone. I had my father with me for 5 years. He passed away 8/2009 after I took care of him for 11 mos. during his battle with brain cancer. I was so lonely without him in the house, I ran off to Texas for about 2 mos. I still miss him each day but it does get better. Being out of debt will also help.

As far as freinds being distant, I don't want to sound negative but the truth is.......real friends are with us throught thick and thin no matter what is going on in our lives. Truth is, we all have what I call acquaintences but true friends are a blessing. Those who are your "true" friends will be there for you no matter what.

Good luck and keep posting, we are here for you!!!