Dropping off the face of the earth.

[time4cake]

Does anyone else out there feel an overwhelming desire to fall off the face of the earth, to dissapear into the fabric of society,to become a stealthy Ninja of finance?

STOP THIS CRAZY RIDE I WANT TO GET OFF

[FilingOnMyOwn]

Yeah, and for you a big part of it is michigan. Its horrible there right now.

[SinkingFast]

I've begun to think of us as members of a "fringe society". Not really misfits, socially speaking, but not normal either.

Stop the ride, I wanna get off too!

[debtisbad]

Actually, we are normal. The sad truth is that most americans are on auto pilot and do not know they too could (and probably will be) in our shoes. I have a good friend (used to be) in Atlanta that lives in a 700,000 house. She is so caught up in materialism it is sickening. I made the mistake of asking her how she cleans 6 bathrooms. She said "excuse me, i have 7 bathrooms!). Oh and she only has 2 kids. Now, some might say I am jealous and that is not true. It would have been 10 years ago. Today, I pity this woman. She completely judges someone by the size of their home and what they drive. Honest to God, she called me and was depressed because she had been to a lady's house that was bigger than hers and she was frustrated. She said she felt sad to come back to her "little" house. Trouble is, she and her hubby are not rich. He is a working stiff for a company that lays off all the time. I am telling you people, the rest of america will soon be waking up.

[FilingOnMyOwn]

700k buys 6-7 bathrooms? What a steal. 100k is lucky to buy one bathroom.

[edwards2]

debtisbad....boy can I identify with your story about your friend..in my case it is one of my brothers. He has zero tolerance for people who dont have a lot. Everything and everyone is judged by the almighty dollar. It is a sad commentary and NOTHING like the way my parents were. When he had nothing he wanted people to feel sorry for him and now that he doing well he brags all the time. And this same person goes to church every Sunday and when he gives everyone knows it...that is his style. One of my other brothers summed it up...his website should be itsallaboutme.com...

[Minnymouth]

edwards,
You just described my two brothers too a TEE...........
"it'sallaboutme"............
Strange, when you talk to them on the phone, they never ask "how are ya", is life good your way?, do you need anything, sis?......
It's I bought this, just got back from Vegas, etc........
Makes you wonder WHY they did call.............. bragging rights I guess.........

Yes, too much emphasizes is put on "materialistic things"....

Even our children today - GOTTA HAVE THE NEWEST AND BEST........... Talk about spoiled........ and some of them are the RUDEST people I have ever met....

Would they donate to a charity - NO....... Would they help their neighbor dig a ditch - NO..... Would they let a little old lady ahead of them in line - NO.... When a 5 yr old tells the neighbor to "kiss her a@@".... nobody cares!!!

The root of all evil is MONEY.......... And many people put too much emphasizes on what they own!!!

Don't get me wrong, people work hard for what they have, most of them do anyways.... and really NO ONE is really jealous of them..... And no one wants their bills, either that goes with all of it.

Yes, materialistic things play too much a large roll in our society.......

What happened to religion, home, families, children?

[SinkingFast]

Actually, we are normal. The sad truth is that most americans are on auto pilot and do not know they too could (and probably will be) in our shoes. I have a good friend (used to be) in Atlanta that lives in a 700,000 house. She is so caught up in materialism it is sickening. I made the mistake of asking her how she cleans 6 bathrooms. She said "excuse me, i have 7 bathrooms!). Oh and she only has 2 kids. Now, some might say I am jealous and that is not true. It would have been 10 years ago. Today, I pity this woman. She completely judges someone by the size of their home and what they drive. Honest to God, she called me and was depressed because she had been to a lady's house that was bigger than hers and she was frustrated. She said she felt sad to come back to her "little" house. Trouble is, she and her hubby are not rich. He is a working stiff for a company that lays off all the time. I am telling you people, the rest of america will soon be waking up.

I had trouble keeping up with 4. Our house was/is a 3.5 bath. 2 Bathrooms were shower baths. Those were off bedrooms. We only had one "real" bath with a tub and all. But still,....... 4 toilets and sinks, and all the extras, is quite a bit to keep up with. I can't even begin to imagine 7!!

Not like we built it that way or anything. Or like we were shopping for 3.5 baths. We told the realtor we just wanted at least 2 toilets. It just happened to be on the market in our price range when we were buying. It was the house that best suit our needs that was available at the time.

[jane taylor]

I want off the ride, too!!!! Enough is enough! I'm here at work fighting back tears as I learned today that I may not have a job in three months. We have been through so much that I'm not sure if I can muster up the strength to interview!

My brother is materialistic, too, and very judgemental. Don't even get me started!

[LostOne0069]

Not everyone who is living above their means "looks down" on people who have smaller houses, cheaper cars etc. etc.

I'm one. I largely got into the problem that I'm in because I liked having nice things. I could not have cared less about what my neighbor had or if someone else had more than me. I just wanted a boat, and a sports car, and a nice house etc. etc. etc. It starts out fine... you just want the best quality you can get because you don't like having to deal with problems... well, the best quality also tends to be the fanciest and most expensive... you do OK for a while, make all your payments, get along for years with no real problems except the 12-16 hour work days to pay for it all... but after a while, that seems normal too and you don't even realize that the high blood pressure and tension headaches aren't a normal part of everyone's lives.

Then something happens... for me it was accepting a job right after committing to a $20k boat and $30k worth of home improvement... we didn't "fall behind" we had a house of cards that flat out collapsed. We went from never having been late in our entire lives together (12+ years) to not being able to pay half our credit card payments, let alone all of them.

I admit that my situation is my own doing... but I also know that I will use my "fresh start" (IF I get one!) to really start over and do it right. I look at losing my belongings as justified pennance for screwing it up. Once I can start over, everything will be cash except for houses and cars... and whenever we go to buy a house or a car we're going to look at what we can afford... then SUBTRACT at least 20% so we always have a buffer. We're going to put away CASH for emergencies... not a credit card. I can't say that I'll never get into the position where I have to declare bankruptcy again... but I CAN say that if I do... It won't be because I was stupid with my finances.

[tired_of_debt]

Amen to all. I have a rich lawyer sister and a rich brother. My own mother who grew up with nothing is all about how many pieces of Fenton glassware she has in her house and how many "things" she has. I hate taking my kids to her house and that's the truth. It gets to the point that I hate Christmas with the family because there is no way to compete with their grandiose gestures and gifts.

I am moving to a 3-BR rental apartment with a 2-car garage, with a landlord who knows the ugliest side to my credit history and is willing to take the chance. My scores suck, but I will NEVER be the material B*&^% that I once was with 10 credit cards to the max and the payment on one of those more than my car payment at the time. I am looking forward to an occasional treat at garage sales and auctions with my girls and am going to try and teach them a few lessons on how much things cost. I have a new start and some day my score will be better, but I know that I will never be able to buy a house of any sort and just want to make it through to the end of my life with my sanity intact....and that's the honest truth. Sure, I would like to have a whopper of a score, but I could go for decent just as easily and I will never allow myself to get in a the downward spiral of credit cards and paycheck loans again. Everyone here has been such an inspiration to me.

*and I am climbing off my soapbox now...*

[Minnymouth]

I used to DREAM of things I could get to improve my life - now i THINK of things I can do without to make life easier........ WORKS A WHOLE LOT BETTER............

Life is good, if we manage it right!!!

And keep our priorites straight!!!!!

[debtisbad]

Tired of debt,

If you truly want, you will be able to buy a house again. I have another friend in Atlanta (Alpharetta) that is a mortgage broker. She tells me that people buy houses 1 day out of bankrupcy. They actually are a better risk right after BK, since they cannot file again for a number of years. I do not happen to want to own a house again. I got forced (my own doing) to buy this stinkin house I have right now. I wanted an apt. but my MIL threw a fit and said that "children should not be raised in an apt.". Husband, who has no backbone with his mother agreed. I hate houses. Hate realtors, lenders (except of course my friend in ATL). If I did not have kids, I would love to live in an RV. You know, buy a good used one for 20-30k and park it in interesting parts of the country. Hot areas in the winter, cooler in the summer. Husband thinks I have cracked, he said you would be surrounded by transients. Yeah, like I know my neighbors now! Could not even tell you their names. I swear if I could find a way to do this with kids, I would. What a great education for them. Plus I am starting nursing school (at 40 + I might ad) and nurses can find jobs anywhere.

[debtisbad]

Minnie,

I, too, am thinking less is more. The only "things" that are treasured by me are pictures of my family. That's it. I could care less about furniture, houses, clothes, ect. I wish I learned this years ago. I would have had better friends.

[GoingDown]

Not everyone who is living above their means "looks down" on people who have smaller houses, cheaper cars etc. etc.

I'm one. I largely got into the problem that I'm in because I liked having nice things. I could not have cared less about what my neighbor had or if someone else had more than me. I just wanted a boat, and a sports car, and a nice house etc. etc. etc. It starts out fine... you just want the best quality you can get because you don't like having to deal with problems... well, the best quality also tends to be the fanciest and most expensive... you do OK for a while, make all your payments, get along for years with no real problems except the 12-16 hour work days to pay for it all... but after a while, that seems normal too and you don't even realize that the high blood pressure and tension headaches aren't a normal part of everyone's lives.

Then something happens... for me it was accepting a job right after committing to a $20k boat and $30k worth of home improvement... we didn't "fall behind" we had a house of cards that flat out collapsed. We went from never having been late in our entire lives together (12+ years) to not being able to pay half our credit card payments, let alone all of them.

I admit that my situation is my own doing... but I also know that I will use my "fresh start" (IF I get one!) to really start over and do it right. I look at losing my belongings as justified pennance for screwing it up. Once I can start over, everything will be cash except for houses and cars... and whenever we go to buy a house or a car we're going to look at what we can afford... then SUBTRACT at least 20% so we always have a buffer. We're going to put away CASH for emergencies... not a credit card. I can't say that I'll never get into the position where I have to declare bankruptcy again... but I CAN say that if I do... It won't be because I was stupid with my finances.

I think that is the key to keeping yourself out of BK trouble in the future. Spend less than your income, and save that cash back for when you really need it.

I'm now finally starting to accumulate some cash savings, which I store in fire proof box in my apartment, so creditors can't get to it. It feels so much freer knowing that I have enough savings to pay the rent and utilities and food for 6 months into the future, even if I don't work another day in those 6 months.