Collections agencys calling my exhusband, exmother inlaw, ex sister inlaw!!!

[beachchick]

If you want a pep talk, read Bankruptcy, How To Survive and Prosper, available on Amazon.com. It really lifted my spirits and soul, I too was feeling like crap, this book really told it like it was, that bk was a positive thing, that when you file you are on your way up, not down. Plus it had lots of practical info and tips. Good luck,

[percy]

They are not even calling those people with the expectation that they are going to get information from them about you. The sole reason they call them or other, like your neighbors for example, is to embarass you and make you feel guility and shameful to the point that you pay them to make it all go away.

That is all they have to work with, guilt, shame and embarassment. If you dont feel that way then you win and they lose. Simple.

Also, keep in mind everyone has problems and most people have problems far worse than yours. There is nothing to feel shameful about, the people they are calling probably have it worse than you do. I dont care how neat they cut their grass and trim their trees or how often they say hello and wave and smile when they say goodbye, chances are good that between those four walls there is a world of problems in that house next door.

That goes for the rich, the poor and everyone in between.

[Mere]

Thank you beachchick and percy, I needed your words of wisdom, I will def. get the book and let you know what I think, I have been looking for a book to help me deal with all of these emotions (my husband thanks you as well, poor guy ;)...as for the "people nextdoor" I know almost everyone is faking it to make it, I just wish people would be more real about their lives and the things they experiance.
Help and support is such a good thing, but we live in such a judgemental society, it is hard to trust others with your personal struggles, it's a shame...that's where the saying comes from "If your lucky in life you will get a handfull of good friends, some people only get one."
Thank you both again, I will keep you posted.

[enuffznuff]

They've called my mom, she told them I was dead. She's a senile old lady, I can't be responsible for what information they are given if they choose to call her instead of the perfectly valid number they have for me. (I am not hiding from them, they have my valid contact info, they just don't like my answers so they call other people.)

They called my ex husband once but he's a lawyer so they didn't call him again, lol.

[ooCHAOSoo]

Thank you BrokeinMD for sharing the National Fair Debt Collections Act PDF file. It was very useful. One of my creditors called me constantly (2nd mortgage that was short saled and now I owe a deficiency), was so nasty and condescending. I was so angry that I wrote the company a letter indicating that I did not appreciate the way this woman treated me. I gave them the name, time, and date of this conversation. Two weeks later, they sent me an apology letter and have not called me since (it's been almost 2 1/2 months).

[Bell30656]

Actually, if you are avoiding the debt collector's calls or they do not have a current way to reach you calling your friends, family, work, people with the same last name, pastors, etc. is legal as long as they are simply doing what is called attempts to locate. This is what happens when you do the "head in the sand" routine. Some believe that it is a good idea to hide from collectors. Not a good plan. Simply answer the phone when they call, confirm you identity, then tell them that you will not discuss financial matters over the telephone. Stick to your resolve and do not back off your mantra. Send each collector a cease and desist letter but don't be surprised if some continue to call. If they are an OC they are able to do this because the FDCPA does not apply to them.

You can stop them from calling you at work by simply telling the collector that your work has a policy prohibiting personal calls at work.

Keep in mind that these bottom feeders only get paid if they recover money. They will say whatever they can to get into your wallet. You keep control of the conversation.

[BrokeinMD]

OO, you're welcome. I found that online, and my attorney keeps a pamplet about it on their front desk.

[enuffznuff]

Actually, if you are avoiding the debt collector's calls or they do not have a current way to reach you calling your friends, family, work, people with the same last name, pastors, etc. is legal as long as they are simply doing what is called attempts to locate.

Yes, but they do it regardless. Mine have my valid, updated contact information and I have spoken to them. It's just that they don't like the answer of "No, I don't have any money. No, I don't have any assets. No, I have no one to borrow from. Did you want my food stamps?" So they start calling everyone else.

[Bell30656]

if they are making calls to locate you and you are actually taking their calls you have grounds to file under FDCPA (unless they are an OC). $1000 per violation that you can prove.

[rolandjones]

Defintely the best way to deal with. Had this happen to me and cease and desist letter stopped all calls immediately. Goodbye pesky callers!

[enuffznuff]

They are all OC's.

le sigh.