Divorce debt, Chapter 7, 13, or gamble that ex will file before me?

[Clabbergirl]

I've been readings these boards for a week and my head is swimming from all the info. I've done many searches on this topic also and while I've got great info, so far nothing has been similar enough to my situation to apply.

I was all set to file Chp 7 until I realized the debt outlined in my divorce decree may not be dischargable. We had no marital property to split and divvied up the marital debt - secured (2 cars, 1 motorcycle, 1 house) and unsecured (credit cards). If I file 7, understandably the creditors will go after my ex for the balances owed. He can then either a) pay them, b) file BK, or c)pay/file BK and sue me for contempt of the decree to recoup his losses. Do I have this correct?

The ex is also in contempt for not paying half of all 'extraneous expenses' for our child, but I haven't pursued this. Let's say I file 7 - these CC creditors will turn to my ex and he will likely turn to me in the form of a lawsuit for at least 1/2 the balances plus legal costs, right? If I file 13, he won't have anyone hounding him for 5 years and afterward won't be able to sue me for the balances because I will have already made payment arrangements with them through the Chpt. 13. Yes?

What if the ex and I both filed for Chpt 7 at the same basic time? What happens then? He signed a quit claim deed for the house, but he is of course still responsible for the mortgage.

If the ex filed 13 to keep his car and motorcycle, could I file 7 shortly after him and get my debts discharged, or at least not have the fear of him suing me hanging over my head?

I'm thinking in this situation it would be best if we both filed, or he filed first and then me...but I really don't know anymore. My brain is mush at this point. And does this kind of test apply to my situation:

Many cases have used the following test to determine if the debts is dischargeable: If the discharge of the obligation would harm the spouse to whom the obligation is owed more than it would harm the person who owes it, non-support obligations from a divorce or separation are then non-dischargeable in a Chapter 7.

from here.

[Clabbergirl]

For what it's worth....
Had my first BK consult today. This lawyer said mine is an obvious Chapter 7 case except for the marital debts in the divorce decree. He also said my ex can come forward after I file like any other creditor and contest in BK court based on our decree - and the law leans in his favor regardless of Chp. 7 or 13. After it's discharged, he can't come back on me. The guy reminded me that just because my ex has every right to contest, it doesn't mean he will. But it is a gamble, and none of this would be an issue if he filed BK first. He will get notification in the mail that I'm filing BK, and will have 60 days to contact the court. He would eventually have to hire a litigation lawyer at great expense and time. The issue of my getting the ex's name off the mortgage is unsolvable, and I could be sued for contempt of the decree even if I don't file BK. Since the bulk of my debt is the mortgages, I am at great financial risk no matter what.

The lawyer also said Chp 13 isn't really an option because my DMI is in the negative and I couldn't pay my creditors anything. It might be possible to do some adjusting and come up with a payment of $100/month or so, but he doesn't see that getting approved. He's leaning toward the 7, but gave me a packet including a means test for the Middle TN district so he can get exact numbers to work with.

I feel better with a little legal counsel, but it looks like I'm gambling with the lesser of evils. Do I do nothing and wait until my ex sues me for contempt of the decree (for not getting the house refinanced), or do I file and hope my ex doesn't find out until it's discharged? My ex can sue me for a lot of $ no matter what I do, even though he is largely the reason I'm facing BK in the first place. Leaving me with 70% of the bills, the majority of which he charged up during the marriage, and not paying child support until his wages were garnished. Ugh. Why oh why didn't I know this before the divorce papers were final!!!

This board has been a great help. Anyone else been through this kind of ordeal?