I do not have enough money to hire a lawyer?

[merime]

I followed all the advice I have been given. I still have no idea how I can afford a lawyer. The one I called said it will cost $1,600 and $299 to file. He wants $500 just to open the case. I tried calling legal aid for low income people. They charge $50 for a consultation. I have a court date with Citicards in Jan. I do not have a clue how to raise the money. I begged for more hours at work , but still only managed to get 30. That is $487 dollars fore 2 weeks take home. Out of that I have to pay for 3 children and myselfs groceries, clothes and try to set aside $400 a month. I don't know if its possible. I need to prepare for the fact that I will be taken to court and have a judgement. What happens then? I know I have posted before, and I can not express the gratitude to those who reply. I am at the end of my rope. I have tried everything. I am so scared most days that I can no longer think staight.

[debee]

If you can't fund a lawyer, can you file pro se? Some years ago I helped a friend file by taking books out from the public library. When the kids get to bed at night, can you start reading and file on your own?

[mommi2many]

Debee is right. Maybe you should look into filing pro se. Get the Nolo book: How to file for chapter 7. I used the Nolo book and asked lots of questions on this forum and I was able to file pro se. I just filed my petition on Sept. 30 so I am still going through the process. I couldn't afford one either and didn't want to wait until I could afford one. I feel really good about my decision.

[tobee43]

I followed all the advice I have been given. I still have no idea how I can afford a lawyer. The one I called said it will cost $1,600 and $299 to file. He wants $500 just to open the case. I tried calling legal aid for low income people. They charge $50 for a consultation. I have a court date with Citicards in Jan. I do not have a clue how to raise the money. I begged for more hours at work , but still only managed to get 30. That is $487 dollars fore 2 weeks take home. Out of that I have to pay for 3 children and myselfs groceries, clothes and try to set aside $400 a month. I don't know if its possible. I need to prepare for the fact that I will be taken to court and have a judgement. What happens then? I know I have posted before, and I can not express the gratitude to those who reply. I am at the end of my rope. I have tried everything. I am so scared most days that I can no longer think staight.

you know what they say....he who has himself for an attorney has a fool for a client...now that's a person perspective...being in the field for a time, i would never go it alone.

what i did do, since we didn't have a dime was call around....rule 1...if they charge for a consult......they are out the door.

if they will NOT take payments they are OUT THE DOOR....

if they charge over the average for the area they are OUT THE DOOR...

also call your local bar assoc. for referrals...as well as the county ....since there are atty's that do pro bono work...i know our atty did pro bono work...not for us, but for other cases we went to court for. it made me like the firm even more than i already had.

there is an atty out there...you just have the find the one that will work with you and for you....make more calls..we did...we interviewed at least 6....but i can't tell you how many calls i made.

don't be scared...you just need to move on this...forward...pick up the phone book and the phone and get a callin....asap...

best of luck...and let us know how you make out!!!

[merime]

Thanks!! I will look into filing myself, just afraid I will do something wrong. I agree. I told him I would save $400 a month and he said ok, buut it will all need to be paid before filing. The whole thing scared me because what if I paid and then he wanted more. That always seems to happen. Reading the fine print scared me. If anything goes out of norm, you pay more. I think lawyers know that, and also know that if you already sunk money into them , you will stick to them. Thanks again!!

[Flamingo]

May I ask where is the other parent of your three children? Are you receiving support, help for those children? It sounds like you are not since in your first posting above you stated you have to cover your 3 childrens' food and clothing. Do you have family around that can help out in any way?

[tobee43]

May I ask where is the other parent of your three children? Are you receiving support, help for those children? It sounds like you are not since in your first posting above you stated you have to cover your 3 childrens' food and clothing. Do you have family around that can help out in any way?

ditto the question....

and also...why in the world with all the stress you are under would you consider handling this case pro se. i'm not at all trying to imply that you can't...it's just why would you?

filing is enough stress in itself...but to go it alone i would not suggest for your situation....however, it's just an opinion and one knows what they say about those.

[backtoschool]

I would not worry about the court date with Citicards. Worst case scenario will be that they will get a judgment, which will be vacated as soon as you file. Most attorneys will allow you to pay them in installments and will start taking creditor calls and letters as soon as you give them a down payment, but will not file until you have paid them in full.

Pro se is a lot of work and research, and something can easily go astray. If you save up, you will not have to deal with the creditor calls once you make the first payment to your attorney, and the judgment will be able to be vacated after you file and are discharged.

[tobee43]

mer...this is excellent advise. please re-think the pro se filing....do a list of pros and cons see which best suits you and your needs.

[merime]

Thanks. I know, filing on my own is above the capacity that I have. My husband "allows" me to live in the house. I do not have any siblings, and my mother moved away because of all the stress with my husband. I looked into apartments and shelters. i do not want to take my children away from their schools. When I call about legal aid , I get no answers. The person who I work with had a stroke, so I increased my hours to 30 for last 3 weeks. That helps. Itis so hard, I sway from one side to another. I am saving as much as I can to hire a lawyer, so I can breathe. I pray I will be able to get a better job someday , so I can move out on my own. Right now I can literally walk to the child development center where I work. I guess if a judgement is not that bad, I can deal with it. I just want to do the right thing. Thank you. This forum is a life line.

[discouraged]

merime - call a divorcve lawyer. Your husband can be forced to pay for the lawyer if the circumstances you have stated here are accurate. He can also be forced to pay for his children's care. Talk to legal aid again. Spousal abuse does not just include physical altercations but mental anguish as well.

[doni49]

Legal Aid charges $50 just to decide if they'll take the case for free/low cost? That sounds fishy to me.

[rjmwx81]

Is the debt with Citi the only debt you have or are there others as well? If it's just the one debt maybe you can make some kind of settlement with them. If you have others, then that might not be the best idea, and BK is probably your best option.

If I were in your position, I'd give the Nolo book a read before deciding how to proceed. It might even be available at your local library--your tax dollars at work! If the information in the Nolo book seems too complicated, then it's probably worth hiring an attorney.

[Pandora]

I followed all the advice I have been given. .... That is $487 dollars fore 2 weeks take home. Out of that I have to pay for 3 children and myselfs groceries, clothes and try to set aside $400 a month. I don't know if its possible.

Honestly merime, you havent followed all the advice thats been given to you since last year - you've been in this situation and posted the same thing since you joined. I'm not saying this to sound mean or anything else as I am genuinely concerned about you and your children; I'm saying it because again, only you can do what needs to be done. Have you called a women's shelter? Have you gone to Social Services and explained your situation with your marriage? Have you looked into apartments that are income based and include all utilities? There are a million different reasons you've listed why you havent done something in the past year just reading through your posts. Again its up to you.

I believe I've mentioned this before (as have others) but will do so again - should you decide to leave.

Food:

go to angelfoodministries.com and look into it. For about $40 you can feed a family of 4 for a week. (this can be used without qualification - and if you choose to stay with your husband, you may use this as well).

find your local food pantry and go there. (of course, this should only be if you leave your husband since he makes 84K a year and you can afford food).

Apply for food stamps and assistance (again, if you leave). You will qualify based on your income.

School lunches (If applicable):

Reduced or free school lunch programs are there for a reason. Many now offer breakfast as well as lunch.

Clothing:

Check with the Salvation Army or Goodwill stores. Usually a few times a month they hold special days for families in need that require clothing (and even furniture). Sometimes its free, and sometimes its $2 a bag for as much as you can get in a bag. Many of the clothes are almost new, with some being brand new. Undergarments and socks you can purchase new at your local store(s). I'm sure you have a Walmart or something around.

Rent:

Check into income based housing (and no, not everything is "in the projects"); Section 8 is another option. If you qualify for food stamps, usually you will qualify for housing assistance.

Medical:

Medical can be provided for for you and your children through various programs - either free or income based.

Medical can also be provided through your children's school as many schools offer programs at the beginning of the year, or if something should occur, during the course of the year as well.

Counseling:

Same thing as medical - income based or free of charge.


Legal aid:

I find it very hard that your area charges for legal aid; then again perhaps its because of your husbands income. As many on here have attested, you can file for BK and have all fees waived if you prove certain things. The first thing you have to do however is get out of your situation.

As far as your situation goes - you can either choose to stay and be the victim or you can get out. The choice is yours and yours alone, no one else can help you or do it for you. You've heard this for over a year on here - yet keep saying "I cant". Yes, you can - question is do you really want to?

I'm a very strong advocate for abused women - and abuse doesnt mean physical, abuse can be emotional - as I had a very dear friend in your exact situation. Only problem was that she enjoyed the attention and sympathy it gave her, even if negative - and eventually everyone just walked away because after all the time and effort spent trying to help her and her kids, it didnt matter. In the end, she stayed and defended her husbands actions and wrote off everyone else. I"m not saying thats you - however I can see a very strong parallel in the situations, actions and methods, and it really bothers me tremendously.

Please get some help for you and your children. Children learn what they live.

Keeping you in my thoughts.

[tobee43]

Honestly merime, you havent followed all the advice thats been given to you since last year - you've been in this situation and posted the same thing since you joined. I'm not saying this to sound mean or anything else as I am genuinely concerned about you and your children; I'm saying it because again, only you can do what needs to be done. Have you called a women's shelter? Have you gone to Social Services and explained your situation with your marriage? Have you looked into apartments that are income based and include all utilities? There are a million different reasons you've listed why you havent done something in the past year just reading through your posts. Again its up to you.

I believe I've mentioned this before (as have others) but will do so again - should you decide to leave.

Food:

go to angelfoodministries.com and look into it. For about $40 you can feed a family of 4 for a week. (this can be used without qualification - and if you choose to stay with your husband, you may use this as well).

find your local food pantry and go there. (of course, this should only be if you leave your husband since he makes 84K a year and you can afford food).

Apply for food stamps and assistance (again, if you leave). You will qualify based on your income.

School lunches (If applicable):

Reduced or free school lunch programs are there for a reason. Many now offer breakfast as well as lunch.

Clothing:

Check with the Salvation Army or Goodwill stores. Usually a few times a month they hold special days for families in need that require clothing (and even furniture). Sometimes its free, and sometimes its $2 a bag for as much as you can get in a bag. Many of the clothes are almost new, with some being brand new. Undergarments and socks you can purchase new at your local store(s). I'm sure you have a Walmart or something around.

Rent:

Check into income based housing (and no, not everything is "in the projects"); Section 8 is another option. If you qualify for food stamps, usually you will qualify for housing assistance.

Medical:

Medical can be provided for for you and your children through various programs - either free or income based.

Medical can also be provided through your children's school as many schools offer programs at the beginning of the year, or if something should occur, during the course of the year as well.

Counseling:

Same thing as medical - income based or free of charge.


Legal aid:

I find it very hard that your area charges for legal aid; then again perhaps its because of your husbands income. As many on here have attested, you can file for BK and have all fees waived if you prove certain things. The first thing you have to do however is get out of your situation.

As far as your situation goes - you can either choose to stay and be the victim or you can get out. The choice is yours and yours alone, no one else can help you or do it for you. You've heard this for over a year on here - yet keep saying "I cant". Yes, you can - question is do you really want to?

I'm a very strong advocate for abused women - and abuse doesnt mean physical, abuse can be emotional - as I had a very dear friend in your exact situation. Only problem was that she enjoyed the attention and sympathy it gave her, even if negative - and eventually everyone just walked away because after all the time and effort spent trying to help her and her kids, it didnt matter. In the end, she stayed and defended her husbands actions and wrote off everyone else. I"m not saying thats you - however I can see a very strong parallel in the situations, actions and methods, and it really bothers me tremendously.

Please get some help for you and your children. Children learn what they live.

Keeping you in my thoughts.

well thank you pandora and ditto one hundred times over.

please OP...listen to some of the sound advise people have given you and taken the time to share with you.

best of luck...the next move is yours. please let us know when you hired an atty or filed your petition pro se.