How to find help with my personal finances

[LuvMySibe]

Hello,
I wanted to talk with someone who knew more about personal finances than I did. I have a ton of things that I do not understand. It is not that I am unintelligent. I am just one of those people who does everything possible to avoid dealing with money for many reasons that I am well aware of. But, I need help. I have figured out budgets, etc. I need help with sticking to the budget and making myself save money. I am sure my credit rating is in the double digits by now since I haven't ever used credit. My parents had to co-sign for my current vehicle because the first vehicle I purchased was paid off, but that happened seven years before I needed a new vehicle and it had fallen off my credit. What's wrong with the idea that if my vehicle is running fine that I just keep using it ... even if it is for 12 years?

I have very little going into 401 K and the total amount in the fund is very low for my age. My company quit matching over 1.5 years ago.

My credit report is a mess. Some of the stuff is mine, but it is well over 10 years old. Then ... there is this relative of mine who goes by my first name (even though it is not her legal name). She has the phone, electricity, gas, etc listed in what is essentially my name. It doesn't help that she is now living near the very small town where I grew up. I have been finding credit cards and other amounts owed in my name that I know are not mine. I call the companies that reported those items and give them my SSN. They say that it isn't me and correct the problem. It is off my report for a year and then it comes back. The only thing that makes sense is that these items hit my relatives credit report when it is taken off of my report and when she finds the information, she somehow "corrects" it and it shows up on my report. This whole thing is driving my nuts. And, it doesn't help that she's my sister-in-law and my brother is absolutely clueless and completely manipulated.

If anyone knows of people who help with this, let me know.

[AngelinaCatHub]

You have a challenging problem in that this person is so close in your family. Now, is this person using your name on purpose so as to shield hers? Is her credit and finances in the pit also? Have you ever discussed this with her or your brother?

There is no easy answer to this for sure. Be careful who you give your SS # to.

If this person is actually attempting to hide her sins at your expense, this is a crime tantamount to identity theft.

This is all I can advise you on without more info as to what has gone on in your past. Nothing wrong with a 12 year old car. Paid for cars get better gas mileage.

'Hub

[AngelinaCatHub]

Well, I really didn't help you in personal finances. However, this is a big subject in itself. I would have to know more about you and your spending habits etc. Not a practical thing here and also too private for the Internet. I find that cash is king. We have no bills other than normal utilities. We use pre-paid cell phones and when the money is short, the call is too.

Some people do this: Make an envelope for every expense including food for the week. When you get paid, put cash in those envelopes. Pay only that much and if extra, but it into another envelope as an emergency (not luxury) fund. 'Hub

[LuvMySibe]

I appreciate the help. If I had to guess, yes my sister-in-law is using my name to hid her bad debt ... and a number of other things. It gets sticky when she is hiding it from my brother and has him so manipulated that he thinks I am the devil. It is because of her I have not spoken to my brother in over a decade. Talking to him would mean talking to her. Talking to her would mean it would end with her screaming and ending up a victim of something. It is a bit beyond approaching them for a chat. I will actually have to do some digging and get proof. I have no idea how I can get proof (like the completed application for a credit card with her signature and not mine) without getting an attorney and the police involved. If it gets that far, she can't know that I am collecting proof or she will run, leaving my brother with the bill.

My mother always brings up the envelopes thing. I know myself. I would loose money that way and end up freaked out because I wouldn't know where it went. I am not comfortable with that much cash in my home. The world just isn't safe these days. Paying the bills isn't hard if I am disciplined about it. I just want to go from barely paying the bills to actually owning something someday.

Thanks

[despritfreya]

There is no real trick to saving money. It has to do with discipline. Out of every paycheck put a specific amount in a segregated savings account to be used in an emergency. My "emergency fund" is mostly used for medical bills (my insurance sucks big time) and the occasional “large ticket” purchase like a car.

Do not maintain a balance on credit cards. Pay them off each month. Rule of thumb: If you do not have cash sitting in the bank to cover the purchase - don't buy it. Now this does not always work for necessities but it certainly works for discretionary spending.

The biggest problem I see with folks is that their eyes are too big for their pocketbook. Why do you need a 60" flat panel tv when a 32" or less would more than suffice? Why do you need all of those "premium" channels, heck, why do you need to spend $$ on cable at all? Why do you need both a land line and a cell phone and why do you need the most expensive (with all the bells and whistles) calling plan you can find? What about all the new technology that is going to nickel & dime consumers to death? Consumers fall for the sales pitch that they can now get to watch their TV shows and movies any time on their IPODs. What they don't realize is that they are going to pay dearly for the privilege - and, by the time they do, it’s too late. They are use to the perks and think they can't live without them.

Bottom line, what you do with your money is a personal choice. However, that choice effects you in many ways. For many it causes financial hardships that end up in bankruptcy and the feelings of guilt I imagine most of you feel as you travel down the path to filing and beyond.

Des.

[AngelinaCatHub]

I appreciate the help. If I had to guess, yes my sister-in-law is using my name to hid her bad debt ... and a number of other things. It gets sticky when she is hiding it from my brother and has him so manipulated that he thinks I am the devil. It is because of her I have not spoken to my brother in over a decade. Talking to him would mean talking to her. Talking to her would mean it would end with her screaming and ending up a victim of something. It is a bit beyond approaching them for a chat. I will actually have to do some digging and get proof. I have no idea how I can get proof (like the completed application for a credit card with her signature and not mine) without getting an attorney and the police involved. If it gets that far, she can't know that I am collecting proof or she will run, leaving my brother with the bill.

In your above explanation, I would suggest that at this point, you have nothing to lose if you contact the legal authorities and even the States Attorney. As far as bro, he would probably be better off if she left and probably appreciative if she did.

My mother always brings up the envelopes thing. I know myself. I would loose money that way and end up freaked out because I wouldn't know where it went. I am not comfortable with that much cash in my home. The world just isn't safe these days. Paying the bills isn't hard if I am disciplined about it. I just want to go from barely paying the bills to actually owning something someday.

Honey, you are on a BANKRUPTCY Forum. How much money are you talking about? A weeks wage? If you are not feeling safe "in these days" I suggest taking some of your extra spendable saved, purchase a firearm and course in gun safety class.

Thanks

It is only my opinion, but more than financial management, you really need some family counseling. You are living your life for the feelings of your brother and hope not to interfere with him for the sake of what I don't know, since you have not spoken to him for ten years due to his wife causing him some unknown problems or your own fear of this person who is no friend of yours and is doing you damage.

Your real problem is not financial. 'Hub