Looks Like We're Finally Going to Do It

[JakeSmithson]

I am really grateful to have found this forum last night. I've been browsing through some of the folders and posts and wow...looks like the place I need to be right now.

Like many here, our situation is not much different. One of those, "In my entire life, never in a million years would I have dreamed we'd be doing this."

My spouse has been unemployed since May of '09. We are in our mid-late 40's, he came from a financial services career that spanned 25 years.

I've been running a business from home for 9 years, so who is going to hire me after not working in the traditional world for that long? Nobody.

He's applied to over 150 jobs since then and it's the same thing over and over... too qualified, over qualified, not qualified enough. He's even applied to janitorial jobs, cashier jobs at the ice cream store and clerk jobs at UPS... zilch, nada, nothing..."sorry, we decided to go with someone else."

We never thought he'd be out of work this long and quite frankly, I don't think anyone is going to hire him. Talk about degrading.

Let's face facts, businesses are not hiring mid-late 40's professionals because they're too expensive right now.

We are not 'stuff' people, never have been, heck I shop in consignment stores for clothes and have only 1 credit card (that was nearly paid off before all this!)

We built our house in 2005/06, just right before all this garbage hit the fan. In our subdivision alone, there's already 1 abandoned home, and at one point, 12 houses were for sale (out of 60 homes total). Some were on the market for as long as 2 years.

Savings are gone, retirement accounts wiped out, my business has struggled greatly because people are simply not spending money.

Credit cards became a matter of survival... I mean, who the heck puts a mortgage payment and insurance on a credit card? We did, twice.. mortgage payment around $2000. Ugh!

Our cars are 9 and 15 years old. The tv is 12 years old. We turned off the tv service in early '09 to save $$$ and don't miss it a bit.

Extended family has been helping financially somewhat since early summer, but you know, we just can't do that anymore. They are not our ATM machine.

We met with a BK attorney last March and the whole experience was just surreal.... I cried all the way home. I just couldn't believe we were sitting there and felt like such a huge failure.

We really thought, like many others, that could work ourselves out of this. We felt morally obligated to, and really wanted to, which is why we didn't file last spring. We have never been the type to shun our obligations. I guess reality is setting in.

The kicker of all this, is that it's not like we were living some 'high life' lifestyle. We got into this deeper and deeper in order to try and survive!

Yesterday we were served with a complaint from our mortgage company... 3 months behind on payments. Sigh... that was the final straw, so we both came to the realization that we have no other choice.

So, here we are, 6 months later from our first meeting with a BK attorney. I haven't been able to make a credit card payment since last March, the phone calls are non-stop. I haven't answered one yet. There's nothing I can say to the CC companies that will make it any better for them, so there's no point.

We look around our neighborhood and I would bet that more than 60% of the homes are underwater to some degree. This neighborhood is not that old... just opened up in '06, so I know they all came in here right at the height of the bubble.

The thing is? Every single one of our neighbors, as nice as they are, seem totally oblivious to what's going on in the economy, yet all of them are just one pink-slip away from being in the same situation we are.

It's just that nobody's talking about it, except on forums like this one. There's a heck of a lot more going on 'out there' than the media is reporting and we personally believe that the worst is yet to come.

Honestly? The bank can have the house. I don't care any more. This is our second home, our first one sold in '04, then we built this one. I never, ever want to be a home owner again. It is not worth it and we are definitely redefining our personal American dream for our family.

I'm still coming to grips with what we have to do, and still find myself getting choked up, but now I know we have no alternative. From what it sounds like from reading this forum, there's definitely silver lining on the other side.

We are getting ready to fill out the papers for exemptions. I'm just worried about my business. It's an LLC, separate tax ID & name, with barely $1500 in its checking account. The only reason we have that is because of a client I landed this summer. That's pretty much all we have to our name right now which we'll need to find someplace to live.

Thanks for listening.

[Freddy03]

Hang in there! You have come to the right place.

[andy158]

A majority of people where I work are living paycheck to paycheck and if they miss one it starts the snowball. I was in the same situation. Had an accident that put me out of work for two months late in 2006 and that was the start of the snowball for us.

I too believe that the media is sugar coating the "bad" news to avoid chaos and boost moral. Things are definately worse than what is reported at least in our neck of the woods. We know of two other families that pulled the trigger recently on their financial situation and filed.

I am sorry for us that we didn't file sooner and we tried to "work it out" like you. It was a no win situation and we were broke mentally and financially. Pride and humility go out the window when you are on the verge of loosing everything you have worked for your entire life. You do what you have to do and bk13 was our final safety net and I am glad we used it. In four more years this crisis will be behind us..... financially reborn, but not a born again debtor!

This forum will answer a lot of your questions and give great support during the first steps of your bankruptcy. It has become a second family for us. You have at least come to terms with your situation and are now forming a solution. Good luck and everyone here is in support. God bless.

[ryan]

If its not obvious, let me say you are not alone in suffering through hard times today.

Unless you are one of the "protected professions", like a tenured professor, or a fed gov worker, layoffs and continued downsizing are still the norm. The media don't want to paint a true a picture of how bad it still is, unfortunately.

Regarding your personal situation, I'm wondering if BK right now, is the best idea. Your hubby is unemployed, you are self-employed, your house is about to go into FC, which will take awhile, and you don;t care if you lose, you say. And You only have ONE CC?

I'm just saying I don't know what BK will solve right now?

[drowning123]

I agree with Ryan, because in the end, you still won't have an income, but you'll at least still have a fair credit score. So sorry for your plight. We're all going through the same thing here and can totally understand. I always say, if you're alive and healthy, then there's always hope. Good luck with everything.

[JakeSmithson]

Thanks everyone. I should have clarified. I only have one credit card in my name. My husband has 2 in his name and we have 1 joint CC. I've always paid my own with income that I paid myself from my business.

The AMEX & Discover are in my husband's name and the joint card never really had a balance. My card is now maxed (as are his) because we wound up having to use them for every day living expenses, including the mortgage payments, homeowners and auto insurance, gas for the car, etc. We also have an elementary age child. Because business has been so slow, I haven't been able to make the payments on my card.

We even sent good intent letters to the CC companies about a month ago asking if we could work something out... not one of them replied with an answer. The income now from my business is not nearly enough to support our mortgage, gas, utilities, food, etc.

I really don't see what other choice we have?

I'm sure my credit score is already shot being 3 months behind in the mortgage, and to be honest, I'm not all that sure that I care about my credit score since we're planning on going cash-only moving forward and never, ever owning a home or having credit cards again.

Hope that makes sense.

[drowning123]

Thanks everyone. I should have clarified. I only have one credit card in my name. My husband has 2 in his name and we have 1 joint CC. I've always paid my own with income that I paid myself from my business.

The AMEX & Discover are in my husband's name and the joint card never really had a balance. My card is now maxed (as are his) because we wound up having to use them for every day living expenses, including the mortgage payments, homeowners and auto insurance, gas for the car, etc. We also have an elementary age child. Because business has been so slow, I haven't been able to make the payments on my card.

We even sent good intent letters to the CC companies about a month ago asking if we could work something out... not one of them replied with an answer. The income now from my business is not nearly enough to support our mortgage, gas, utilities, food, etc.

I really don't see what other choice we have?

I'm sure my credit score is already shot being 3 months behind in the mortgage, and to be honest, I'm not all that sure that I care about my credit score since we're planning on going cash-only moving forward and never, ever owning a home or having credit cards again.

Hope that makes sense.

Yes, everything makes sense. I, too, do not wish to own a home ever again. I have an elementary age child also and I'm a single mom, with two no-income elderly parents. For a peace of mind, I would file if I were you. Whatever makes you feel relieved or whatever works for you. I wanted to feel relieved so I filed.

[JakeSmithson]

Yes, everything makes sense. I, too, do not wish to own a home ever again. I have an elementary age child also and I'm a single mom, with two no-income elderly parents. For a peace of mind, I would file if I were you. Whatever makes you feel relieved or whatever works for you. I wanted to feel relieved so I filed.

Thanks so much! We talked with the BK attorney today and are bringing in paperwork Monday or Tuesday. Need to finish it over the weekend.

I do feel better in regards that we finally made a decision (only 6 months in the making!) and while it's not the path that we ever imagined we'd be on, at least we're on a path to move forward.

[drowning123]

Thanks so much! We talked with the BK attorney today and are bringing in paperwork Monday or Tuesday. Need to finish it over the weekend.

I do feel better in regards that we finally made a decision (only 6 months in the making!) and while it's not the path that we ever imagined we'd be on, at least we're on a path to move forward.

Well, good for you. I wrestled with the decision as well, but when the bills get you down it's not a good feeling. You can't sleep at night, you feel nervous all the time when you go shopping for basic groceries, you keep telling your kid "you can't have that honey", everyone else seems like they have their lives together (when they could be in same situation as you). You wait and see. You'll feel like 1,000 pounds have been lifted off your shoulders.

[JakeSmithson]

Well, good for you. I wrestled with the decision as well, but when the bills get you down it's not a good feeling. You can't sleep at night, you feel nervous all the time when you go shopping for basic groceries, you keep telling your kid "you can't have that honey", everyone else seems like they have their lives together (when they could be in same situation as you). You wait and see. You'll feel like 1,000 pounds have been lifted off your shoulders.

Thanks again so much for the support! We've been going through all those things for the last 18 months. I was raised to work for what you need, and as I said above, we're definitely not 'stuff' people, so our kid isn't spoiled by any stretch, yet for basic stuff, you do get tired of saying 'not today, honey' all the time.

I think there are A LOT more families going through this than the media is letting on. I don't know where you are, but we have Aldi grocery stores, which is deeply discounted, 'off off' brand groceries. The people shopping there are not the dredges of society. Take a look at the cars in the parking lot and they are regular families and individuals.

[maymay]

hope very things goes well with you

[JakeSmithson]

Thank you maymay!