How open are you about your BK?

[kartoons19]

I know I'd never think to check this area of the newspaper before now. But with foreclosure signs littering the yards of so many houses on my street and in my neighborhood, I wouldn't doubt people are looking. (running off to check the Sunday newspaper lol)

Well given your thinking, it is possible everyone knows. In your previous post, you seemed concerned about it being listed in the paper, so I was trying to point out that not everyone reads the bk listings if the paper even publishes it. Even if your name was listed in the paper, it wouldn't be in every issue. So if someone didn't look at the paper that day, they would miss it. I'm just trying to calm your concerns and point out another way to look at it. In regards to people finding out, it reminds of the saying, "those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind". Hope this helps.

[needanswers]

Thanks for your point of view. It does help and I like that quote. I need to stop worrying about the things I have no control over. My hubby tells me I'm going to give myself ulcers.

Well given your thinking, it is possible everyone knows. In your previous post, you seemed concerned about it being listed in the paper, so I was trying to point out that not everyone reads the bk listings if the paper even publishes it. Even if your name was listed in the paper, it wouldn't be in every issue. So if someone didn't look at the paper that day, they would miss it. I'm just trying to calm your concerns and point out another way to look at it. In regards to people finding out, it reminds of the saying, "those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind". Hope this helps.

[researchnerd]

My boss already knew because I've had to take some time off, but I just told my coworkers today. We're a pretty tight team and I wanted them to know why I've been distracted lately. They were all incredibly sympathetic, and one person specifically said it was nothing to be ashamed of, that there are a lot of other people in the same situation these days.

[kartoons19]

I was at Starbucks yesterday doing some homework, I'm so far behind because I spend way too much time on this forum! Anyway, I sat next to a table were two people were talking about BK. One person had just filed and was talking openly about it. It seems like filing bk is much more common these days and along with that the stimga is decreasing. At least that is my take on it.

[cspa522]

I've only discussed it with three people, all friends. I have no intention of telling anyone else, though eventually I might share it with our children (who are now way too young to understand and will probably be scared we're going to lose our house). The friends I've told are all close, and one of them also filed Chapter 7 last year. Mostly I'm embarrassed by it because we make very decent money, don't have a huge house or fancy cars. No extravagent lifestyle. We just got in over our heads, and used credit to pay for things when cash was tight (which it always was). We have no one to blame but ourselves, so we'll keep it ourselves.

That being said, it's so comforting to come here and know that I'm not the only one!! I will never look at someone who has claimed bankruptcy the same way again. It happens to the most normal, common of people. At least I'm doing something to get myself out of trouble and I know I'm to blame for it, not someone else.

[empowered]

kartoons19, actually, one of my landlords who told me that bankruptcy didn't scare him later told me that he believed the bankruptcies cropping up on the credit reports of many these days would end up being disregarded, at least partially, as an artifact of the current economic picture. It would be nice if he was correct. He works in corporate finance and accounting, so I have hoped he had a reasonable view.

[onwards]

kartoons19, actually, one of my landlords who told me that bankruptcy didn't scare him later told me that he believed the bankruptcies cropping up on the credit reports of many these days would end up being disregarded, at least partially, as an artifact of the current economic picture. It would be nice if he was correct. He works in corporate finance and accounting, so I have hoped he had a reasonable view.

They already are to a degree, and are increasingly so with time.

It is even reflected by credit scores; many people like me have the experience of having 680+ credit scores six months after discharge, simply because there is such a mass of BK's that in comparison, my profile looks great (I never missed any payments before filing nor since; so it's the only derogatory on the report). CRA's are also looking for ways to reclassify profiles taking this into account. I've seen quite a few HR policies getting updated to account for this economic meltdown event as well, and it is being discussed in HR conferences too.

So your friend is totally on the money (pun intended).

[onwards]

That being said, it's so comforting to come here and know that I'm not the only one!! I will never look at someone who has claimed bankruptcy the same way again. It happens to the most normal, common of people. At least I'm doing something to get myself out of trouble and I know I'm to blame for it, not someone else.

Why is it your fault?

Seriously; the entire economy of the world was on the brink of failure, and you blame yourself for what amounts to a minor side-effect? please give yourself a break.

[empowered]

onwards! Great name. And I can see from your remarks that it's also philosophy.

I agree that things are more complex than this -- it's not just the fault of one woeful debtor but the collaboration of many factors in the economic and financial system.

[MsSnickers]

This is a good thread and thanks to the OP for starting it.

My family, boss and close friends know about my situation and that I am probably going to have to file BK. They have all been very supportive. On the other hand, my long distance sweetheart was not so supportive and decided that HE could not deal with it.

[onwards]

My family, boss and close friends know about my situation and that I am probably going to have to file BK. They have all been very supportive. On the other hand, my long distance sweetheart was not so supportive and decided that HE could not deal with it.

I'm sorry to hear that, MsSnickers...

... although I have to say, if he can't handle this, it wasn't meant to be. Top two reasons for relationships to break up: money and sex, in that order. A chapter 7 filing is not the end of the world by any means. What if a real crisis came up? I'm sure you'd want someone to stand by your side.

Yes, I know, scant comfort, but I figured I'd say it anyway.

[MsSnickers]

Thank you Onwards, and yes, you are right. Better to find out now.

[Spagal]

I fairly open about it. My family and friends know. Basically anyone I would talk freely to about my financial status knows.

I do not want my future MIL to find out though. She is very uptight and judgemental. But I figure sooner or later it will come up and I will just have to face the music.

[mekia2001]

I have not told anyone that we filed only because I hate sharing any of my personal business with people. My husband on the other hand has told all of his coworkers and boss, he hasn't had one negative remark. Actually most of his coworkers are going through Bk as well but they were afraid to talk about it.

Then the other day my MIL was saying that her brothers and sister have recently been filing and that she was thinking about it as well. So we told her we filed and she started asking a lot of questions but she never passed judgment on us. She knows about some of the financial issues we've had so she understands. I was thinking of telling my father because my parents filed a few years ago and he would completely understand but the right time hasn't come up yet. Ironically our 341 is on his birthday.