How open are you about your BK?

[empowered]

Exployer1234, that's great that you're managing all of that. It sounds pretty stressful. Glad you wrote.

[Exployer1234]

It was very stressful, but I am glad the worst is behind me. My BK is discharged this coming week. I had to break my trustee payment into 4 payments and my last payment is this Tuesday. It has been a roller coaster this year. I always say that when things are so bad there has to be light at the end of the tunnel!

[kartoons19]

I've been over the shame thing for a long time, so it hasn't played a role in deciding who to tell. I did tell my two closest friends who have been very supportive and understanding. Unfortunately, my family hasn't been supportive during the past two years of hell, so I chose not to tell them. You would think they would be understanding given that my brother and one of my sisters filed many years ago, but that is not the case.

As for telling others, I think many people still have negative beliefs about bk and I just would rather not go there. Plus it is none of their business. If they want to do the research and find my info, have at it. Otherwise I rather keep it private. It is just like discussing favorite sexual positions (great analogy!) ;-)

[LadyInTheRed]

I agree with empowered. Talking about favorite sexual positions is much more fun than talking about BK!

[andy158]

Have only told immediate family. I have a partner at work that I spend more time with than family. Haven't told him anything because he is old school and old (65years old) and is always bashing people in debt and blaming the bad economy on people who file bk. This man is in a financial utopia. He collects a full pension from his privious job, never had children and has started collecting social security this year! Still he is unhappy.

Sorry! Just venting.

[funcritter]

Most of the people at my job know and some of them have even filed in the past. My family knows as well. I don't think it's anything to be embarrassed about.

[AJA]

I know and my wife knows. A nephew who lives close by and my creditors know. I was smart that I haven't made any new cc's or loans or major purchases in the last 4 years. My work # is my cell #. My current employer doesn't show on my cr. I was injured any out of work for 16 weeks. The first thing I did was see a lawyer. Basic financial decision.
Kid in her last year of college @ 45k a year. Didn't think twice.

[minan]

I told my brother and 2 close friends. Told bosses at work in case there were issues with job clearance. Otherwise, I am still dealing with embarrassment of filing.

Now I'm just trying to move on..waiting for my 341 and confirmation. I hope to start therapy now that I have med insurance. I hope to get back on meds so I can get out of this depression that I'm in now.

[NoTomatoCan]

My wife and I didn't tell a soul, and do not plan to. Just as I don't talk about how much money we make or other financial items. Anyone close enough to me to find out about it and ask I would have no problem sharing with them though. I just wouldn't volunteer the information.

[needanswers]

We haven't told any family or friends. There's just no point in opening it up for discussion and I don't need or want unsolicited advice.

[packerfan]

I'm open about it but don't advertise it either..my kids know my youngest doesn't understand, but its no mystery that we have been having a hard time 3 cars repo'd, lost house etc the filing of the BK is he easy part the humiliation was the creditors calling friends and relatives etc...

[Freddy03]

I have only told a few close co-workers about it. I have had generic conversations with sister and brother-in-law about BK but never said we were going to do it.

I never even told them that we refinanced our house twice in the past 4 years. I'm sure they know b/c they are in the mortgage business.

I would hate for my inlaws to find out about the BK. They are old school.

I'm pretty sure my job knows something about my finanicial situation b/c I had to take out a hardship on my 401k earlier this year.

[wnguyen]

I'm pretty mixed up about this. To some I'm really open and some I don't even want to say the word. Some friends of mine knew this because they are the ones encouraging me to file bk, if you find that odd enough. My brothers know and now my mom knows. Those I kept up are mostly the ones at my workplace and some distant relatives. Either way, I definitely don't advertise it.

[SweetGeorgia]

I will say, to amend my earlier statement, that I did want to keep our problems away from my husband's employer.

I was very, very angry when one of our creditors tried to have my husband served at his employer's local office. I was even more angry because this particular creditor was a friend of mine (HOA president for our old house).

I took that as an almost bodily threat. And she's one of those people who would never understand financial trouble, having inherited obscene wealth and not really being that empathetic in the first place.

I think it's about control; I feel better being open with most people because it makes me feel like I have control over the information. That incident made me feel that (a) information gained in confidence via friendship (b) was used to "blow our cover" with the employer, and that (c) the friend had NO IDEA what that might have done to us. I hate that powerless feeling.

Take our house, sue our butts off, but please don't make it personal. I think I'll embroider that on a pillow!

[empowered]

I have been thinking that while this thread seems focused on keeping bankruptcy private because of shame or embarassment, we haven't really been talking about the very real ramifications that can exist for those whose financial circumstances are not known.

People who don't own, for example, are in a much more vulnerable position. And lots of communities are small ones where personal information easily drifts back to the workplace.