Sabotage

[chg]

My SO is trying to sabotage this, unconsciously or not - he spent money that should have have into an after tax ira and be exempt, on a motorcycle - one that cannot be exempted, and one we will have to buy back from the trustee to keep it. Moreover it was done behind my back, the title came in the mail today - after the ramifications were explained.

I am so tempted to just let everything go to judgement, I have no paycheck and cards are in my name, but in a community property state, they will come after him, we will be screwed financially as we wont even be able to afford health insurance if we lose 25%.

I quit, really - I am going back to school and feel like I just need to take care of my self and the kids.

[helpmeout]

Personally, I would not buy back the motorcycle. And if he wants to, well, then he needs to figure out a way to do so all on his own without taking money away from the household budget. He did go out and get it all on his own. Let him deal with the consequences of his selfishness. You need to worry about your kids and you. He clearly isn't.

[chg]

At the moment I feel I should be working at visitation arrangements not exempting assets, I am so angry.

I am ready to pack and myself and the 1 kid we have together and go to my folks, call the dad of the other two and arrange for them to go there and leave him here in this big empty house with his toys.

I do not understand why 'goods' are so important, why not take the cash out and exempt it, he rushed into these stupid decisions, as I was trying to find solution to stupid #1 he makes stupid #2 - and he isnt a stupid man-

He told me last weekend(after the bike was bought and titled, but I didnt know) maybe you will just end up getting full time job and we can start paying.

Uh, hellow, in JANUARY when we started defaulting, we discussed this, it is almost June, there is NO WAY to get out from under this now - at 1500 in min payments we were drowning.

I am tempted to divorce him and file on my own, i wonder how long we have t be living separately for me to do that in a community property state -

I am going back to school, to get a degree that will pay me decent money, in 3 or so years - I have been working at home and raising kids for the past 10 years - shit i wish he would have just listened to me -

The doing things behind my back is the part that has me torn up inside, I cannot stand it. Dont have me manage the money and then not listen to what I say. I want a fresh start, I want to be able to afford what is purchased.

[Exployer1234]

I am sorry you are going through this. I have been in your shoes (minus the kids). My ex-husband did the same thing. About 13 years ago we had to file BK because he was doing the same thing. In fact he even opened a business without me even knowing it. Before long our debt was over 4500 dollars per month, and our income was not 4500 per month. We filed BK 13 years ago and 2 years later we got a divorce. Before the divorce I had him open up his own checking account and I had my own as well. Neither one of us had access to the others account and that way the main bills were always paid. The divorce took 7 months before it was said and done.

Now I am having to file BK myself and I am hoping the trustee does not look down upon the old BK. I have all my records still from the BK. Most of my infor from the last BK was my ex's old debt.

I guess we all live and learn. For me I will never stay with someone who does things behind my back. If trust is not there then it is not healthy. I hope things get better for you.

[freeatlast98]

know what you're going through

At the moment I feel I should be working at visitation arrangements not exempting assets, I am so angry.

I am ready to pack and myself and the 1 kid we have together and go to my folks, call the dad of the other two and arrange for them to go there and leave him here in this big empty house with his toys.

I do not understand why 'goods' are so important, why not take the cash out and exempt it, he rushed into these stupid decisions, as I was trying to find solution to stupid #1 he makes stupid #2 - and he isnt a stupid man-

He told me last weekend(after the bike was bought and titled, but I didnt know) maybe you will just end up getting full time job and we can start paying.

Uh, hellow, in JANUARY when we started defaulting, we discussed this, it is almost June, there is NO WAY to get out from under this now - at 1500 in min payments we were drowning.

I am tempted to divorce him and file on my own, i wonder how long we have t be living separately for me to do that in a community property state -

I am going back to school, to get a degree that will pay me decent money, in 3 or so years - I have been working at home and raising kids for the past 10 years - shit i wish he would have just listened to me -

The doing things behind my back is the part that has me torn up inside, I cannot stand it. Don't have me manage the money and then not listen to what I say. I want a fresh start, I want to be able to afford what is purchased.

I can hear your frustration. I too was married to a selfish person that thought more of toys and "0" about our future. So here I am after 23 yrs of marriage, divorced, trying just
survive. Ex now lives with new wife he married 1 week after our divorce , he actually stayed in my home until the divorce was granted. Ex now owns two homes purchased within 6 months of each other. Another thing he doesn't work and now new wife supports him. You're right "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF" and your kids. Plan your future and good for it. Selfish people rarely change..If you set your mind to it I'm sure you'll be successful. Good Luck!! Don't be me...