Question Anyone else feel.....

[ladyjenn]

OK, so we retained a lawyer yesterday. That is a good thing! We are a pretty easy Ch7 he said. After the number crunching, I hope he is still right.
However, I still have all these feeling of anxiety, and a feeling of shame. Did anyone else feel that way? I know we will be starting all fresh and new, which is great, but I am still scared of "how creditors will look at me" and how long "that look" will truely last.......anyone been through BK and able to get a decent loan (car or such) in a year or two?

[nc73]

Nope. As everyone says it's a business decision. Don't feel bad.

[blessed]

My problem with it was that I couldn't talk to anyone about it. I felt good that I could be out of this hole and I had no one to share it with because my husband and I vowed to never tell a soul. Even just saying that our financial future looked so positive was too much info to tell. So I felt, and still do sometimes, so alone.

Remind yourself that the "people" who know in the credit industry only see you as a number.

[ladyjenn]

My problem with it was that I couldn't talk to anyone about it. I felt good that I could be out of this hole and I had no one to share it with because my husband and I vowed to never tell a soul. Even just saying that our financial future looked so positive was too much info to tell. So I felt, and still do sometimes, so alone.

Remind yourself that the "people" who know in the credit industry only see you as a number.[/QUOTE]


Blessed, you must have also felt ashamed if you didn't want to tell anyone, and I certainly understand that. It isn't something to be broadcasted. We have just told our parents (both of which are very supportive and say sometimes you just have to start fresh and not to be ashamed). There is one perosn at my work (my manager) who knows we were looking into it, but doesn't know we reatined a laywer as she didn't ask how we made out yesterdya and I didn't tell, and one perosn at DH work, as he referred the lawyer to us as he just did BK13.


[/QUOTE]Remind yourself that the "people" who know in the credit industry only see you as a number.[/QUOTE]
Are you saying they only see my credit and not me as a person? I realize that, but how long does that "look" really last? Anyone have a ballpark idea?

[ladyjenn]

Remind yourself that the "people" who know in the credit industry only see you as a number.

Blessed, you must have also felt ashamed if you didn't want to tell anyone, and I certainly understand that. It isn't something to be broadcasted. We have just told our parents (both of which are very supportive and say sometimes you just have to start fresh and not to be ashamed). There is one perosn at my work (my manager) who knows we were looking into it, but doesn't know we reatined a laywer as she didn't ask how we made out yesterdya and I didn't tell, and one perosn at DH work, as he referred the lawyer to us as he just did BK13.


"Remind yourself that the "people" who know in the credit industry only see you as a number."

Are you saying they only see my credit and not me as a person? I realize that, but how long does that "look" really last? Anyone have a ballpark idea?

[KAKRN97]

No clue about how long those "people" look at your after BK.

I'm not proud of getting to the point of having to file BK. I've told ONE close friend at work and of course my parents, Mother in law(who lives with us) and my husband who HAD to tell his brother(that's a whole other can of worms). The coworker of mine I get the feeling from her that she sees it as a moral failing with me having to file BK. She's got a LOT of medical debts and is a single parents with two teenage boys still in high school. She said she'll bust her arse to pay off her debts before she ever considers BK. That's great for her but for me, I've been living paycheck to paycheck for years. I'm TIRED of that..I've got NO money put away for retirement. No college fund started for my 6yr old son...no money in savings..nothing! DH just got back to work after being laid off for 15 months and he could very well get laid off again.

[blessed]

Blessed, you must have also felt ashamed if you didn't want to tell anyone, and I certainly understand that. It isn't something to be broadcasted. We have just told our parents (both of which are very supportive and say sometimes you just have to start fresh and not to be ashamed). There is one perosn at my work (my manager) who knows we were looking into it, but doesn't know we reatined a laywer as she didn't ask how we made out yesterdya and I didn't tell, and one perosn at DH work, as he referred the lawyer to us as he just did BK13.

Not really ashamed, just in touch with the reality that there is a negative stigma attached to bk. Also, my finances are no one's business but mine and that holds true whether I filed bk or am a millionaire. I don't give people ammo, TMI applies to finances too.

[shark66]

The "ashamed" aspect of the whole BK thing was something that I've honestly never experienced.

Possibly because I was never the one to splurge...

Maybe because I've been exposed to some real horror in my life so the whole BK thing never struck me as anything more than an unpleasant but necessary business decision followed by a bunch of minor inconveniences that one must get used to...

To tell the truth, I've been smiling a lot more since I've filed...although I'm nowhere near done, there's a huge part of me that is very much looking forward to greener pastures already...

My $0.02 only...

[bkinparadise]

I do feel a bit embarressed but my whole financial situation but it could be worst. But then I realized I'm not alone and the one's that needed to know about my situation has been very supportive. If others find out one way or another about my BK, oh well. I know I don't need to explain anything and they should mind their own business.

BTW, I am a bit more relieved I've made the move toward BK as my future prior to making this decision was bleak. Now at least I know where I'm headed and hopefully all will be finalized soon enough. Hoping and praying for the best for all.

[ladyjenn]

Not really ashamed, just in touch with the reality that there is a negative stigma attached to bk. Also, my finances are no one's business but mine and that holds true whether I filed bk or am a millionaire. I don't give people ammo, TMI applies to finances too.

AMEN Blessed!! TOTALLY Agree!