So, I told my mom yesterday about our plans to file....

[JEM]

I figured since the creditors have been burning up the phone lines and since dh's family has received a few calls--I might as well tell my mom in case she gets calls. (Even though she lives in a different state)

Whew. What a load off. Big sigggghhhhhhh of relief. She was understanding and supportive. I didn't get into allllll the nitty gritty details, just told her that a chain of events led us to this point and we were going to have to file soon.

Dh's family has received a few calls, (his dad 2, BIL and SIL 2, and MIL 1) so I'm sure they are totally trashing us behind our backs. I mentioned in the collections forum that SIL had actually called back the number left on their machine for us to "figure out what is was regarding" so she could pass that on to us. Then with the second call, she called FIL and told him. NOT US.

I told dh that I told my mom and he might consider doing the same (he could say as little or as much as he wants) with his family because it seems that BIL and SIL are going to make sure they embarrass us SOMEHOW by making sure EVERYONE knows. Why not just post it it to Facebook, then you could tell everyone in one big swoop? <rolling eyes>


Anyway, sometimes telling a TRUSTED family member really does help. I originally just didn't want to tell my mom because I didn't want her to be disappointed.

[ssmdem]

I'm actually looking forward to telling my mom as well (not my dad - but that's a whole other story). I'm just waiting until our visit with a third attorney in two weeks. Still so many questions, and I want them all answered so I know better how to explain all of this to them. They're going to end up getting drug into this unfortunately. We owe them a huge sum of money, so we'll have to list them. I know they're fine if we NEVER pay it back to them - but I have been paying some on it over the past year, so guess we're looking at insider payments there too. This whole thing just has me so depressed but kinda looking forward to being able to cry on her shoulder.

[SMinGA]

Maybe you need to un-friend BIL & SIL?

DH discussed w/ his parents. I felt a little awkward about that, but they are very supportive and we tend to discuss everything with them anyhow. We don't tend to discuss any REAL topics with my family.

[KAKRN97]

DH told his mother and brother...without my knowledge. He then also called to tell MY mother..who knew about the debt but still don't think it was DH's place to tell ANYONE about our finances...well my cc debt. We are meeting with an attorney today.

[jdcat]

The first time we filed I told both my parents and lo and behold found out that my dad had filed when I was a teenager. So he was completely understanding. I didn't know that things were that bad for my dad when I was growing up. My mom was ok with it, but not as congratulatory as my dad, lol!

This time, no one is going to know. I have no clue what my parents would think of our filing for a second time and have no plans to find out!

[needachance]

We dreaded telling my parents but their response was "why did you wait so long?" I couldn't believe it. They are all about Dave Ramsey so I expected a lot of negativity but they have seen what we have gone through for many years, living like we were destitute, in order to pay bills, and they thought we had paid our dues. Plus, they knew we had not been using credit cards for 4+ years so it was just getting rediculous.

[JEM]

We dreaded telling my parents but their response was "why did you wait so long?" I couldn't believe it. They are all about Dave Ramsey so I expected a lot of negativity but they have seen what we have gone through for many years, living like we were destitute, in order to pay bills, and they thought we had paid our dues. Plus, they knew we had not been using credit cards for 4+ years so it was just getting rediculous.

My FIL is very much a Dave Ramsey fan. So I know he will not understand. Eh, the more I think about it, the more I don't care if they know. It's our life, not theirs.

[ssmdem]

My FIL is very much a Dave Ramsey fan. So I know he will not understand. Eh, the more I think about it, the more I don't care if they know. It's our life, not theirs.

You know, I myself like Dave Ramsey -- BUT not a big fan of the fact that he himself filed for bankruptcy - but now thinks its evil. Sure, I can live on an envelope system and quit living paycheck to paycheck AFTER I get rid of all my bills. No 2nd or 3rd job is going to touch $200K in debt ABOVE what your equity is!

[JEM]

You know, I myself like Dave Ramsey -- BUT not a big fan of the fact that he himself filed for bankruptcy - but now thinks its evil. Sure, I can live on an envelope system and quit living paycheck to paycheck AFTER I get rid of all my bills. No 2nd or 3rd job is going to touch $200K in debt ABOVE what your equity is!

Yep. I listen to Dave once or twice a week. Have been for a few years now. I agree with some of his advice (I actually had a post just about this very thing a couple weeks ago. LOL), but I can't get past the fact that even though HE filed, he never seems to tell people it's a viable option for them. Ever. Even when people call that CLEARLY have no other way out.

I just take what's helpful for our situation from his show and try to disregard the rest. Sometimes I have to take a break from listening to him when he gets particularly down on BK.

[ssmdem]

Yep. I listen to Dave once or twice a week. Have been for a few years now. I agree with some of his advice (I actually had a post just about this very thing a couple weeks ago. LOL), but I can't get past the fact that even though HE filed, he never seems to tell people it's a viable option for them. Ever. Even when people call that CLEARLY have no other way out.

I just take what's helpful for our situation from his show and try to disregard the rest. Sometimes I have to take a break from listening to him when he gets particularly down on BK.

I listen too sometimes. My husband asked me the other day "What does Dave think about this bankruptcy stuff?" I told him - well, he thinks that even though you already work an average of 70 hours a week, and I'm getting about 4 hours of sleep a night as it is, that we need to go get a second job and pay off this debt that is almost 4 times what we make in a year. He just rolled his eyes and said "Yeh, that's going to happen. We'll be dead and gone before we could pay that off."