Who have you told?

[Dannmcg357]

1 out of 3. Chilled out squirrel, cigg and a bottle of Jack D.

That's great!
lol

[nc73]

Your finances are personal, why would you talk about it with anyone,it is nobody's business. Can never figure out why people want the whole world to know their business, that is very strange, would they talk about their sex life? But then maybe again those who share their finances might vevery well do just that.

It's ok to be ashamed. Remember bankruptcy is public record so no point in keeping it secret. Nobody wants the whole world to know...

[Dannmcg357]

Your finances are personal, why would you talk about it with anyone,it is nobody's business. Can never figure out why people want the whole world to know their business, that is very strange, would they talk about their sex life? But then maybe again those who share their finances might vevery well do just that

Well,
Miss beachchick, I don't volunteer such info but I have the kind of friends who are concerned when I have a problem and visa versa, and yeah, we talk about SEX too!

[meateater]

I told no one, then applied for a job years after discharge. I had to fill out a bunch of forms, none asked about bankruptcy. I also authorized a credit check. I went through several rounds of interviews.

Before meeting with the comapny bigwig, I told my contact I had had "financial issues" and would discuss if necessary. When i was scheduling to meet bigwig, I mentioned that I might have a background issue to discuss with whoever did background checks - I was told my background check had come back "clean." At the meeting with bigwig, I saw him reading something that looked like a public records report about me. I didn't get the job (even though meeting with bigwig is generally a formality), and the company did not bother sending a "thanks but no thanks letter."

My present company [where i've been since prebankruptcy] overlaps with bigwigs company, and there's only two or three degrees of separation from me and bigwig. I felt horrible after not getting the job, and in a panic told a friend about the whole thing. Friend was very supportive. Bigwig, my friend, and anyone bigwig told are the only ones who know.

I used to be the kind of person involved with local government (zoning boards, fundraisers, etc.), but I don't get involved or speak up because of worry that someone will run a quick background check and find out about my bankruptcy. I'd like to just go public with it and let people think what they want, but I worry about the immediate ramifications (could lose current job, fear losing respect of colleagues, friends). I want to stop "hiding" from people at bigwigs company (i'm afraid, irrationally, that bigwig's going to out me as a bankrupt, i'm sure bigwigs decision not to hire me was not personal but a business decision).

Has anyone ever kept quiet about their bankruptcy for years, then finally decided to share? How do you do this? I'm thinking my problem is not really that I filed bankruptcy but that I feel like I'm presenting myself in a less than genuine manner. Bankruptcy was a business decision, but a normal business decision would not be causing so much angst, so it's is definitely more. i don't like sharing my personal business, but its a public record that will come up the next time I apply for a job or try to finance anything, its not like I can just keep it to myself.

[meateater]

I told no one, then applied for a job years after discharge. I had to fill out a bunch of forms, none asked about bankruptcy. I also authorized a credit check. I went through several rounds of interviews.

Before meeting with the comapny bigwig, I told my contact I had had "financial issues" and would discuss if necessary. When i was scheduling to meet bigwig, I mentioned that I might have a background issue to discuss with whoever did background checks - I was told my background check had come back "clean." At the meeting with bigwig, I saw him reading something that looked like a public records report about me. I didn't get the job (even though meeting with bigwig is generally a formality), and the company did not bother sending a "thanks but no thanks letter."

My present company [where i've been since prebankruptcy] overlaps with bigwigs company, and there's only two or three degrees of separation from me and bigwig. I felt horrible after not getting the job, and in a panic told a friend about the whole thing. Friend was very supportive. Bigwig, my friend, and anyone bigwig told are the only ones who know.

I used to be the kind of person involved with local government (zoning boards, fundraisers, etc.), but I don't get involved or speak up because of worry that someone will run a quick background check and find out about my bankruptcy. I'd like to just go public with it and let people think what they want, but I worry about the immediate ramifications (could lose current job, fear losing respect of colleagues, friends). I want to stop "hiding" from people at bigwigs company (i'm afraid, irrationally, that bigwig's going to out me as a bankrupt, i'm sure bigwigs decision not to hire me was not personal but a business decision).

Has anyone ever kept quiet about their bankruptcy for years, then finally decided to share? How do you do this? I'm thinking my problem is not really that I filed bankruptcy but that I feel like I'm presenting myself in a less than genuine manner. Bankruptcy was a business decision, but a normal business decision would not be causing so much angst, so it's is definitely more. i don't like sharing my personal business, but its a public record that will come up the next time I apply for a job or try to finance anything, its not like I can just keep it to myself.

[espo1357]

I told no one, then applied for a job years after discharge. I had to fill out a bunch of forms, none asked about bankruptcy. I also authorized a credit check. I went through several rounds of interviews.

Before meeting with the comapny bigwig, I told my contact I had had "financial issues" and would discuss if necessary. When i was scheduling to meet bigwig, I mentioned that I might have a background issue to discuss with whoever did background checks - I was told my background check had come back "clean." At the meeting with bigwig, I saw him reading something that looked like a public records report about me. I didn't get the job (even though meeting with bigwig is generally a formality), and the company did not bother sending a "thanks but no thanks letter."

My present company [where i've been since prebankruptcy] overlaps with bigwigs company, and there's only two or three degrees of separation from me and bigwig. I felt horrible after not getting the job, and in a panic told a friend about the whole thing. Friend was very supportive. Bigwig, my friend, and anyone bigwig told are the only ones who know.

I used to be the kind of person involved with local government (zoning boards, fundraisers, etc.), but I don't get involved or speak up because of worry that someone will run a quick background check and find out about my bankruptcy. I'd like to just go public with it and let people think what they want, but I worry about the immediate ramifications (could lose current job, fear losing respect of colleagues, friends). I want to stop "hiding" from people at bigwigs company (i'm afraid, irrationally, that bigwig's going to out me as a bankrupt, i'm sure bigwigs decision not to hire me was not personal but a business decision).

Has anyone ever kept quiet about their bankruptcy for years, then finally decided to share? How do you do this? I'm thinking my problem is not really that I filed bankruptcy but that I feel like I'm presenting myself in a less than genuine manner. Bankruptcy was a business decision, but a normal business decision would not be causing so much angst, so it's is definitely more. i don't like sharing my personal business, but its a public record that will come up the next time I apply for a job or try to finance anything, its not like I can just keep it to myself.

Thanks for sharing. Great post.

I think you are making the right move, by staying low key on this. At the same time, I think you are looking into it too much.

Personally, I have not applied for a new job after the BK, so I am not sure if the BK is going to hurt me at this point.

My job is in the private sector, and does involve a small budget via a company credit card.

At this point, I am not worried about it because I know the BK was the right play for me both long term and short term. As you stated perfectly, it was a business decision. Also, based on the lies of the housing market, a market that hurt honest applicants like myself AND based on all the taxes that I have paid over the years (easily over 100k in ten years), I have no guilt about my decision and also could really give a shit who finds out, as long as it does not hurt my bottom line.

[kansasgirl]

We told family members on my husband's side because a few of them had filed for bk in the past (old laws) and we new they would understand what we were going through. We did not tell anyone on my side of the family because everyone on my side has steller credit, high income jobs, & believe in usual stigma.

[beachchick]

Meateater, I understand your concern but as you state, it is your personal business, just because it is public record does not mean everyone would know. I know many worry that a bk will impact on their ability to get jobs but if employers discriminate against all who have had bk, they will greatly limit their ability to get good employees, and just because one has had a bk does not mean they will not be a good employee. I too worried about what other would think until I read Bankruptcy, How To Survive and Prosper, it really put the whole bk question into proper perspective for me and I feel much better and much more hopeful for the great future I have coming my way. I got it on Amazon.com

[HakunaMatata]

BK, in my world, has not been a "dirty little secret". No, I don't scream insolvent from rooftops; however, I refuse to pay into an irrational stigma. Sheesh. I'm bankrupt. I can't afford to pay.

I wish others were afforded my positive experiences. During my BK contemplation days, I solicited advice from a diverse group of individuals (many of whom I deem successful). I was shocked to discover numerous individuals who had BK pasts or were considering the BK path. The experiences and opinions of others positively guided me in making my decision and provided intense comfort and clarity. I was strongly influenced by my "saved every penny since the Great Depression" grandmother who surprisingly and convincingly advocated my fresh start.

BK, to me, isn't regarded as a personally intimate detail, it doesn't represent failure, it isn't a direct reflection of me, and it doesn't adversely influence my attributes. It's business -a sound business decision for many. I'm confident in my decision; and, I'm grateful I have the opportunity to move financially forward.

Many have no qualms about discussing the economy, current market trends, career paths and projections, or money/business related topics with others. Why does BK differ? The stigma. If you feed it, it remains. We can blame non-BKers for fostering negative BK attitudes and perceptions while we sit silently in our covert BK worlds. When we do this, we maintain shared culpability for the irrational BK stigma persistence and strength.

[OhioFiler]

BK, in my world, has not been a "dirty little secret". No, I don't scream insolvent from rooftops; however, I refuse to pay into an irrational stigma. Sheesh. I'm bankrupt. I can't afford to pay.

I wish others were afforded my positive experiences. During my BK contemplation days, I solicited advice from a diverse group of individuals (many of whom I deem successful). I was shocked to discover numerous individuals who had BK pasts or were considering the BK path. The experiences and opinions of others positively guided me in making my decision and provided intense comfort and clarity. I was strongly influenced by my "saved every penny since the Great Depression" grandmother who surprisingly and convincingly advocated my fresh start.

BK, to me, isn't regarded as a personally intimate detail, it doesn't represent failure, it isn't a direct reflection of me, and it doesn't adversely influence my attributes. It's business -a sound business decision for many. I'm confident in my decision; and, I'm grateful I have the opportunity to move financially forward.

Many have no qualms about discussing the economy, current market trends, career paths and projections, or money/business related topics with others. Why does BK differ? The stigma. If you feed it, it remains. We can blame non-BKers for fostering negative BK attitudes and perceptions while we sit silently in our covert BK worlds. When we do this, we maintain shared culpability for the irrational BK stigma persistence and strength.

I don't discuss my financial business, positive or negative, with anyone regardless of stigma. I'm not embarrassed by my plight but it's no more someone else business than if I had received a $50,000 bonus at work which I would not brag about.

[Ann]

My husband and I decided we would not discuss with ANYONE that we are going to file for bankruptcy. I have not told my almost adult children nor do I plan to. If they find out I will be honest and upfront but I will not be the one to bring it up. I know one thing for sure after coming here and reading from all of you and your experiences I will NEVER pass judgment on anyone for doing what they need to do to make a fresh start in life. Hey, we are not criminals but you can best believe others in my family and social circles will treat me as such if they knew. I don't need that and I'm not about to start giving lessons to those just to convince them that I'm still a good person even though I hit a financial hardship in my life!

[HakunaMatata]

I don't discuss my financial business, positive or negative, with anyone regardless of stigma. I'm not embarrassed by my plight but it's no more someone else business than if I had received a $50,000 bonus at work which I would not brag about.

I understand this OF. As mentioned, I don't share my BK status with each and every individual I encounter. I have also learned to not make assumptions. A $50K bonus may not be received as bragging (some may be genuinely happy for you while others may regard this as pocket change). A BK filing may spur stigma-driven responses and it may not. The latter has been my experience.

[backtoschool]

I understand this OF. As mentioned, I don't share my BK status with each and every individual I encounter. I have also learned to not make assumptions. A $50K bonus may not be received as bragging (some may be genuinely happy for you while others may regard this as pocket change). A BK filing may spur stigma-driven responses and it may not. The latter has been my experience.

I totally agree with you HakunaMatata. I am not hiding my bk status, but am not publishing it on Facebook or having it as a line in my business card either. My family knows, my friends know, those who love me know, my employer who did an extensive background check on me, knows.

As as for not talking about money, well where I came from in nyc and in the Wall Street Culture, it was expected that you discuss your bonus and your salary. If you hid that info it was assumed that you were ashamed of it.

I talk about my bankruptcy if I think that the information will help someone with their own financial issues as well. I consider that my "12 step" mentality and approach to the healing that bankruptcy offered me. If I can pay that healing forward than I will.

[coolmom04]

We told my mom and my MIL & FIL b/c they needed to know. My mom understands - she filed herself years ago. My MIL & FIL on the other hand... well, we haven't talked to them since we told them two months ago.. that's how badly that went down.

[whipster1]

I haven't told anyone. I'm sure many I know haven't told me either...so we are even