Advise needed: Helping Children Deal with Bankruptcy (Un-spoiling them)

[DiamondsR]

Wow you are way too passive. I would not call the health department. I would GO THERE. Reason being, there are lots of brochures and pamphlets to pick up and bulletin boards to read ... and calling there, you won't get as much help as if you go there and get in their face. After you have nosed around a bit at the information that is available go to the information desk. In their face, you will get a lot more help than on the phone.

As for tutoring. Ok fine, you don't want to advertise your services or set up a real business? Fine. Don't. Check around in various newspapers and there are sites on the internet for this as well... craigslist, maybe...respond to ads for people looking for tutors. I certainly would not volunteer this information to the Unemployment Office. It might be a one time shot to pick up an extra $50, that doesn't make it a J-O-B.

You're right (a year's unemployment, years of PTSD have made me a little too passive/afraid of face-to-face confrontation). I will go down there Monday morning (like I did when I wanted to start a tutoring business and ESD was less than enthusiastic). Time to stop whining/crying and grow a spine, I'm down but not out.

I've also printed out a budget to go and have a serious discussion with the boys right now, and I'm going to call the soccer coach tonight.

[DiamondsR]

After reading your initial posting and all following postings, you need to realize you have been through two major life events in a short period of time and may I suggest to you that you probably are suffering from depression as life events (divorce, filing BK, etc., etc.) set off extreme emotions and problems in trying to adjust to something somewhat normal. Before you will be able to get things back on track in your life, you have to make this about "you" and not about your son's soccer or what anyone else has or does. Get yourself in to your family doctor (don't have one? Look in the phone book under General Practice or ask a friend who they can suggest for a family doctor). Sit down and have a talk with this doctor about your situation, how you feel and what is going on. .

I was really down after the BK and when I went to a doc (who referred me to a psychologist); the "consensus" was that I have PTSD, compounded by depression from life events and raising a child with PDD-NOS). My first reaction was I can't go to therapy because I have too much to do but reading it in black and white, I know I need to follow up otherwise I can't address these "fires" my kids keep starting.

I know what I need to do now. Thank you (I really mean it. It's eye-opening staring at the truth in black and white from others on the forum saying what I know in my heart and what I heard my doctor also tell me even though the issue I brought up wasn't about the depression or the PTSD).

Printed out the budget for the kids so I'm starting there first.