Divorced Dad in Debt/Don't know what to do

[JayGZ]

Divorced dad who is flat tired of trying to dig his way out of debt.
In deep debt combined with stiff child support payments along with recent medical bill and the news that my employer isn't extending bonuses for the past year.

I'm exhausted from trying to cut it down and emotionally worn out from seeing my daughter and thinking about how I've handicapped her future.

I am considering bankruptcy. Meeting with a credit counselor tomorrow and hope to get a good referral to a lawyer.

Open to any suggestions or advice as to how to go forward and conquer this.

[SleeplessInMI]

I'm exhausted from trying to cut it down and emotionally worn out from seeing my daughter and thinking about how I've handicapped her future.

Well don't look at it that way. BK will not ruin your life or your daughters life but help you get a fresh start to help improve your lives.

[AAAArt]

A credit counselor may try to talk you out of Bk. Be very careful as there are many credit coounseling co's out there that are less than ethical and will make your situation worse than it now is.
I would suggest that you look up Bk lawyers in the phone book and then call 3or 4 of them for interviews. With most of them, this is free.
Personally, I recommend staying away from the ads where they look like and are "Bk mills" where you will get little more attn and help than if you bought the software over the internet and did it yourself.
It is better to face the facts now and realize that your daughter loves you for being her Dad, more than what you can buy her and that she has many more year which you will be able to handle more successfully if you bite the bullet now.
BTW, I paid child support for 12 years and 10 months and know what a drag it can be. At first I was very resentful over writing those checks w/ my ex's name on it. At first it was very difficult as in addition to child support, I was having to furnish a place for my 2 daughters to live in when they were with me which cost me more money for rent, furniture, food, etc. Those first few years were really difficult. The last 5-6 years, I realized that it was costing me less in child support than it would have if we were still married. Just remember that paying child support and even declaring Bk are both things which you are doing for your daughter. You are to be commended for not walking away. Believe me, it will pay big dividends in the future.
If you want to talk about the various challenges of being a single father, feel free to PM me.
Best wishes, Art

[Genenco]

Reminds me of the time a guy divorced his wife..Though it was not pretty, they did divorce. But he had to pay support. Not that he minded though, but still not happy.

Then, he struck on an idea which made him GLAD to pay support and in fact, little "Extras" the kids wanted or needed. What was this idea that made him so willing?

He had checks made showing him kissing his new wife on the checks!!

[audreyl]

That's awesome! What a great idea!

[Minnymouth]

BRAVO...............LOVE THAT IDEA!!!!

Probably gave him something to smile about everytime he wrote that check to his EX....

The only way you will EVER let your daughter down is if you deny her the love and affection that only her own father can give her......

Minny

[Minnymouth]

SOOOOOO JAYCZ,

Get you a game plan together - let us help - and we will try to help you turn your life around and help make a brighter, better future for you and your daughter....

If you are buried in cc debt - its time to clean it all up.....
give yourself a chance to have a "fresh start" in life....

[JayGZ]

I did see the credit counselor and after we calculated the reduction in credit card payments per month along with my estimated/known monthly expenses, I was surprised at how much money was left over.

Too good to be true, I thought. And when I got back to my office and reviewed the numbers, it certainly was. For a person whose debt is based on credit cards, I couldn't have scripted a better example of not paying attention to the details.

After reviewing the information and determining what monthly expenses I could cut, I'm still around $0. No wonder what extra money I made at times this year seemed to go--poof!--as soon as it made it into my account.

With the new bankruptcy laws, I've heard that counseling is required, which I've now done.

But I don't see how I could stay in their debt management plan without some kind of surprise expense coming up that would kick me out. When I say surprise I mean like a medical bill for my daughter. Or my tires falling off my car.

My next step is to talk with a BK lawyer. I'm thinking I may go ahead and utilize the debt management program because I can't cover the credit card payment for too much longer at their current levels due to a few late payments.

The bright side, if I can say there is one, is in knowing that my financial situation while based on some poor spending decisions on my part and on my ex-wife, is also an uncontrollable result of hospital bills, a job layoff, and divorce, child support.

At least, I can sleep knowing that while I don't have control over the child support or how my ex spends it, I know that I handed it over with the full intention that it benefit my daughter.

[StaciMM]

JayGZ-

If you think there is a very good chance you'll end up filing BK, consider not sending anything more to those cards! You'll need to save $$ for an attorney, and anything you pay to them (if you do file) is a lost cause.

[NonSequitur]

JayGZ-

If you think there is a very good chance you'll end up filing BK, consider not sending anything more to those cards! You'll need to save $$ for an attorney, and anything you pay to them (if you do file) is a lost cause.

that sounds like sound advise. providing you have an income to save...