my wife did this to us

[cameron]

How I do I tell with this? My wife got all these credit cards in my name using my information. She changed hte billing address to a po box.


Now were bankrupting because of her and i'm the only one calling the creditors and the lawyers.

[jribe]

How I do I tell with this? My wife got all these credit cards in my name using my information. She changed hte billing address to a po box.


Now were bankrupting because of her and i'm the only one calling the creditors and the lawyers.

are you contemplating divorce? If you are, you may be able to file fraud charges and try and get the debts in her name. I would speak to an attorney about everything though.

The credit card companies have to verify information - so you can also allege possible identity theft if she opened and used the cards in your name and you never used them or knew about them.

[pcn]

1) Kill her and bury her in the back yard
2) Talk to her and work things out - forgive.

Not too many options when you think about it. Some better than others.

[DebtHater]

Your wife opened these accounts in your name? If so you need to file a police report immediately as this is identity theft.

[blankslate]

The replies to this thread are neither helpful nor amusing.

I'm sorry you are having this trouble in your marriage. You need to find out WHY your wife did this and what you can do together to make sure it never happens again. I'm sure she fell into the same trap 99% of Americans did. You need to be a team now more than ever to get each other through this, together.

Ask Mr and Mrs Angelina Cat how many times they've wanted to strangle each other. Marriage isn't easy, but if you stick through it and remember you are a team, you will have that person in your old age to laugh with when you remember the hard times.

[tlcabk]

I agree whole heartedly with Blanslate. There is some underlying issue that your spouse needs to deal with. Marriage should not be thrown out liek the trash. Everyone is imperfect is some way. If you love this person, counseling is a great place to start. If your filing BK you'll be getting a fresh start for your finances, now is a great time to get a fresh start for your marriage as well. Good luck, may God guide and keep you.

[Flamingo]

How I do I tell with this? My wife got all these credit cards in my name using my information. She changed hte billing address to a po box.


Now were bankrupting because of her and i'm the only one calling the creditors and the lawyers.

In a nutshell:

1. If your wife signed your name without a power of attorney or any written permission from you and without your knowledge for these cards she committed fraud.
2. You can either report her to the authorities and deny any responsibility for the debt and deal with the backlash and the possibility your marriage will end.
3. There is a reason your wife did this and you have to find out why in order to save your marriage and for it not to happen again. I suggest marriage counseling.

Best of luck to you both...

[AngelinaCatHub]

Ask Mr and Mrs Angelina Cat how many times they've wanted to strangle each other. Marriage isn't easy, but if you stick through it and remember you are a team, you will have that person in your old age to laugh with when you remember the hard times.

Blankslate, you've been reading my mail. If the Mrs. ever had more reason to "take me out and bury me in the back yard" [I did laugh at that one], I have given it to her in our more than 20 years of marriage and before.

We lost all our wealth, some for good reasons in a land preservation, we still have rights to the land and no taxes on it, but I lost all our retirement in a pitsing match lasting ten years, with a jerk who could outspend me in lawyers. I've done a multitude of 'dumb-stuff' in the time we have been together. She has too, but I don't say it to her face. LOL.

We both attempt to live in "creation" rather than 'culture', especially after bk. We both understand that we are both human, fallible, and made lessor than the Angels. We make mistakes. The difficult part is forgiveness over pride. Too many arguments are caused by little things, not big things in life. Too many worries are caused by concern over things you cannot control anyway.

We do not go to bed with a disagreement on our minds. It ruins the next day in advance.

God's gift to us is every day He allows us to live. Our gift to Him, is how we live it.

The OP has a very small problem when all things are weighed. It is only money, not death. It can be fixed. The error of the spouses ways must be looked at, discerned, and fixed. That is the most important thing. Sweeping up the mess is lessor of the problems. The author would be a far better "MAN" if he just told his wife he knows what she has done, and forgives her and then simply ask her to help him fix it and tell her; "we will fix it together".

Only my 2 cents. 'Hub

[Flamingo]

Usually in matters such as this, the wife is not working, the husband is the breadwinner withi a good job, has control over all the finances and gives the wife an allowance to use for household and food purchases, etc. The wife rebels due to the control and does something like this or the wife suffers from OCD or another disorder and/or the husband has to review his control over the marriage and how he is making the wife feel as to his financial control. There is always more to it than meets the eye and has to be worked out by the couple as to how they want to handle it to get to the bottom of it. The main thing to watch if they get it resolved if it will happen again and why the wife actually did it...

[AngelinaCatHub]

Usually in matters such as this, the wife is not working, the husband is the breadwinner withi a good job, has control over all the finances and gives the wife an allowance to use for household and food purchases, etc. The wife rebels due to the control and does something like this or the wife suffers from OCD or another disorder and/or the husband has to review his control over the marriage and how he is making the wife feel as to his financial control. There is always more to it than meets the eye and has to be worked out by the couple as to how they want to handle it to get to the bottom of it. The main thing to watch if they get it resolved if it will happen again and why the wife actually did it...

Yes, a very wise observation and this is a common fault. My older daughter is a "spendahalic". Her husband is a quintessential Scotchman. I mean from Scotland.

Mrs. was never married at age 36 when we met. She was also head of household with a widowed Mother (Dad died at her age of 10), and Mom had Alzheimer's.

When we got married, there was both a power struggle. As a man, and to that date, a responsible man, two wearing the pants in the family does not get it. I set her down and earnestly stated that this marriage will be run 50/50 with both of us in agreement or it would not work. On occasion however, if need be, my vote was 51% at all times. I have NEVER had to use my majority vote. She understands that as long as I was a responsible person, did my part in the household finance and responsibility, that I was the head of the household. Now as my above post stated, there have been occasions that both of us fell short of that deal. We both understand that with each others track record being good, that the flaw is in the design and not the intent. We are not Angels as I have stated, but that will come one day as well. But until then, we have to do our best to go through life living it right, warts and all.

This is what our host of this thread must decide to do on his own. He must sit down and think long and hard on his situation. Not knowing all, I would wish him to preserve the marriage he asked of her. Consider himself fortunate that she accepted, and live with the warts, as he too has his own. 'Hub

[frogger]

It all boils down to what you want to do with your relationship. You can work towards saving it, or kick it (and her) to the curb.

This is about so much more than money. I wish the best for you and your family, but only you can make the decision in how to proceed.

Money is replaceable. Family is not.

[pcn]

In a nutshell:

1. If your wife signed your name without a power of attorney or any written permission from you and without your knowledge for these cards she committed fraud.
Best of luck to you both...

Point from personal experience, and I'm sure it may differ state to state: in the lovely state of AL a spouse may legally sign the other spouse's signature. As in, signing up for credit cards without the permission of the other spouse.

[blankslate]

This is what our host of this thread must decide to do on his own. He must sit down and think long and hard on his situation. Not knowing all, I would wish him to preserve the marriage he asked of her. Consider himself fortunate that she accepted, and live with the warts, as he too has his own. 'Hub

I knew you would have some great replies

I got married VERY young and divorced very young too. It's been many years since and I've not remarried because I haven't found that person who is willing to be a partner rather than a bitter supreme ruler or complete child. I take marriage very seriously and I won't do it again until I know it's the right person.

As a single person I've observed a lot of relationships. When I talk to couples who've been married for 20+ years with no signs of stopping now, they ALWAYS tell me about the times when they wanted to kill each other - and laugh while they talk about it.

Not every marriage is worth saving, but money shouldn't be the reason for the end of it.

[nc73]

How in the world did you not know about it? Try paying attention to your wife and your credit report. It's your own fault.

[lovebirds]

Ya'll have big trust issues. You need to sit down with her and talk this out. Delegate the phone calls that ya'll should make.

My husband handles all our creditor phone calls b/c they make me upset. I handle all written communication/sending checks out/balancing checkbook.

If she is not willing to do anything, you need to end the relationship or have her get serious help. And take your time with the bankruptcy. Learn about it.

I still think you should wait it out...that credit card company that doesn't want to "deal" with your credit counselling service will cave sooner than later.