Please help, forgery victim....

[unfortunate]

Let me throw a hypothetical at you guys.

Say someone's mother opened up 4 separate credit cards in their name because her credit was tarnished from a previous Chapter 7 filing in her own name. This person was NOT AT ALL AWARE that these cards were being opened, never signed anything, nothing. And then say that person's mother tells them that she charged 30 thousand dollars over a certain amount of time and has been paying minimum payments for some time but suddenly cannot pay it back because they recently lost their job, so she now needs this person to file bankruptcy in their name for charges they didn't know existed under their name, for cards that they didn't know existed in their name.

So, say this person can't call the police because although what has happened is unbelievable, it is their mother and they absolutely (seriously, absolutely, don't even bother going there) refuse to turn the crime in. Say this person can't even begin to pay this off because they are a student, so either way, the payments will be late at the very least.

Hypothetically, what is this person's best option? Is bankruptcy the only solution? This person may have been supposed to start graduate school this upcoming fall, and is aware that this would hinder them obtaining private student loans.

If this person existed, they would be very thankful of anyone who offered advice.

[DiamondsR]

two decades ago before I moved to Europe with my then fiance, later husband and ex-husband, a similar situation happened to me, My mother left my father the day I went off to college, also ended up opening accounts in my name, getting credit cards while I was a student in college half way across the country. (She also ended up burning down a house for insurance money with my father in it. He got out but we all know she did it and she even told my sister and I she did it and used our cousin to actually burn it down. No one ever turned her in for any of these things and in her 70s now if you even bring it up, she will justify it). I remember on my 18th birthday trying to go a get a car and being told I already had a repossession (she used my ssn when I was a teen to get a car and little did I know the family car was actually MY car).
No one ever turned her in for anything she did, I didn't declare bankruptcy (I moved to Europe and just recently came back). I can tell you she tried to do the same to my sister but that now after 20 years no one in my family will even speak to my mother. Resentment builds up when people aren't held accountable. I love her,she is my mother but this has put a huge wedge in our relationship. We should have just turned her in.
Funny thing is that after I returned to the US and had to declare bankruptcy, I found out she decided to attend a "school" using my social to get a student loan (I was out of the country). Fortunately I was able to prove that I was out of the country at the time but she also managed to attend a private college and be evicted from student housing (non payment) and they still wanted to hold me to paying her bill. I had to include that college's housing cost in my bankruptcy (Ch 7) despite the fact I never attended that school and the financial aid department accepted the fact she had forged the FAFSA forms.
Tell your hypothetical friend that they SHOULD turn the parent in because in the long run, the parent has a serious problem and should be held accountable. If they don't want to turn them in, bankruptcy is the best option but you will regret it somewhere down the road. Children aren't just piggy banks to be exploited and in some ways my mother took away a huge part of my future (and it's also contributed to the reason I stayed in an abusive marrriage abroad because at least I was away from the financial mess she caused that at 18 I wasn't prepared to know how to deal with). I am now in my early 40 s and I wish I would have turned her in now.
My sister filed a police report when she did it to her and the credit card companies left her alone AND the police never arrested her or anything. At the time, I thought that was really mean of my sister to do but in retrospect, I wish I would have done it too.I last spoke to my mother six months ago and brought up the fire thing and using my ssn and she went into a "you were young, I knew you'd get over it". I got so angry I hung up. She now lives with her boyfriend in Las Vegas (she's in her 70s now) and is well off. People probably see her and think how terrible her daughters are that we don't speak to this poor little old lady but they don't know that in her 40/50/60, she pulled some really hurtful stunts. I feel guilty but she just doesn't get it.

[frogger]

Hypothetically speaking, you have a hypothetical problem. Therefore, it is only a hypothetical problem that needs no real solution.

Get real and you'll get suggestions.

[HHM]

Hypothetically speaking, you have a hypothetical problem. Therefore, it is only a hypothetical problem that needs no real solution.

Get real and you'll get suggestions.

Award for this month's best answer

[jribe]

Hypothetically speaking, you have a hypothetical problem. Therefore, it is only a hypothetical problem that needs no real solution.

Get real and you'll get suggestions.

agreed! If this is a "Hypothetical" question- no one has the time, or cares to answer.

If this is a real situation- people will try and help you. But first things first, you need to admit the situation.

This is an online forum- no one will know who you are, by simply admitting there's a problem.

There are no real names, and honestly, people can lie about where they live if they wish.

A question doesn't need to be hypothetical to be anonymous.

[unfortunate]

Hypothetically speaking, you have a hypothetical problem. Therefore, it is only a hypothetical problem that needs no real solution.

Get real and you'll get suggestions.

Unnecessarily rude response by someone who does not know someone's reasoning behind writing a post the way they did. Perhaps some people just aren't comfortable doing things on this forum a certain way due to outside forces and whether the post was written in hypotheticals or not, a helpful answer could have been given by a considerate person.

Please don't turn this thread into forum members going back and forth regarding the way it was WRITTEN, that isn't the point of this thread and is very disrespectful. Make a separate thread if you want to bash people, please.

[frogger]

Unnecessarily rude response by someone who does not know someone's reasoning behind writing a post the way they did. Perhaps some people just aren't comfortable doing things on this forum a certain way due to outside forces and whether the post was written in hypotheticals or not, a helpful answer could have been given by a considerate person.

Please don't turn this thread into forum members going back and forth regarding the way it was WRITTEN, that isn't the point of this thread and is very disrespectful. Make a separate thread if you want to bash people, please.

Rude? I think not.

We are a group of people all in the same boat trying to help others. If you've got a problem, spit it out and let's try to deal with it. If it's a hypothetical problem, why would anyone want to waste time trying to help?

And yes, I'm getting to the point of the way it was WRITTEN. You're on a forum in which no one knows your name, where you're located, or any personal details about you.

Outside forces? Are you wearing a tinfoil hat or something?

As far as I'm concerned, you can get real or get lost.

Now, you can call me rude.

[AngelinaCatHub]

Hypothetically speaking, DaimondsR post #2, has the best solution.

Mother needs to fess up, get you off the hook and fall on the mercy of the Court, hypothetically speaking.

Your hypothetical future in school is in jeopordy as well as your future. If you are considering bk, ask your lawyer's opinion, and I do believe he will give you the same answer as post #2 did.

Hypothetically, 'Hub

[DiamondsR]

Sorry but you need to turn her in. Like I said, when my sister reported our mother, they didn't even bother pursuing the matter but it got her off the hook (no one has ever turned her in for the fire, though).
If your mother is willing to just say she did it, they probably would plea bargain it down to a misdemeanor.
There is also the little matter of when you file for bankruptcy, actions committed by fraud or illegal acts cannot be discharged. You need to speak to an attorney because I'm not sure if when the acts are committed by another person and yet you knew if those acts are discharged (fortunately the school where my mother was evicted from that I included found out I was going to a Ch 7 instead of a 13, they decided to back off completely and sent me a letter stating they would not pursue the matter anymore).

What she did was wrong but because of her age, if it's a first offense and they actually do decide to prosecute, they will probably just give her probation. My sister went so far as to get a new social security number (because she documented it and filed charges).

[ForumReader]

Award for this month's best answer

I agree!!

[Flamingo]

Hypothetically, the mother needs to be turned in and needs to go to Debtor's Anonymous and/or evaluated for possible mental illness.

[unfortunate]

Rude? I think not.

We are a group of people all in the same boat trying to help others. If you've got a problem, spit it out and let's try to deal with it. If it's a hypothetical problem, why would anyone want to waste time trying to help?

And yes, I'm getting to the point of the way it was WRITTEN. You're on a forum in which no one knows your name, where you're located, or any personal details about you.

Outside forces? Are you wearing a tinfoil hat or something?

As far as I'm concerned, you can get real or get lost.

Now, you can call me rude.

It's very juvenile for people to refuse to answer a question because they are offended by the way it was worded. This IS an anonymous forum, so how a post was written, so long as it's written clearly (which mine was), has no relevance to the MATTER at hand. A decent answer would have taken as much time as the crappy, meant-to-be witty one you decided to type up. No, you are not humorous or witty in any way. No, your avatar is not amusing. You are a very disrespectful person for attempting to hijack this thread with your immaturity and need to get the last word in, but I am done responding to your boredom.

Thank you to those who have responded with opinions regarding the actual matter at hand.

[HHM]

You have to understand, it is not "how it was worded", per se; although saying "hypothetically" doesn't help. Yes, this is a anonymous forum, but if you hang around long enough, you can easily tell when a situation is real and when it is not. The problem with answering truly hypothetical questions in this subject area is that useful answers depend on the "specific" facts; but those facts are generally lacking in a hypothetical situation. Thus, when you get involved in a "hypothetical" thread, the situation keeps shifting and changing as more "made-up" facts are added and gets rather tedious and pointless.

That is why, the experienced folks on this forum avoid "made-up" scenarios. Granted, you may not have known this, and your situation may, in fact, not be made up, but it was a bad way to start.

[JRScott]

Let me throw a hypothetical at you guys.

Say someone's mother opened up 4 separate credit cards in their name because her credit was tarnished from a previous Chapter 7 filing in her own name. This person was NOT AT ALL AWARE that these cards were being opened, never signed anything, nothing. And then say that person's mother tells them that she charged 30 thousand dollars over a certain amount of time and has been paying minimum payments for some time but suddenly cannot pay it back because they recently lost their job, so she now needs this person to file bankruptcy in their name for charges they didn't know existed under their name, for cards that they didn't know existed in their name.

So, say this person can't call the police because although what has happened is unbelievable, it is their mother and they absolutely (seriously, absolutely, don't even bother going there) refuse to turn the crime in. Say this person can't even begin to pay this off because they are a student, so either way, the payments will be late at the very least.

Hypothetically, what is this person's best option? Is bankruptcy the only solution? This person may have been supposed to start graduate school this upcoming fall, and is aware that this would hinder them obtaining private student loans.

If this person existed, they would be very thankful of anyone who offered advice.

Report the mother for fraud. If she's done it to one person she'll do it to another, by not reporting her your an accessory to the crimes she may commit in the future. Anyone that would steal from a parent or child is willing to steal from anyone.

[Flamingo]

It's very juvenile for people to refuse to answer a question because they are offended by the way it was worded. This IS an anonymous forum, so how a post was written, so long as it's written clearly (which mine was), has no relevance to the MATTER at hand. A decent answer would have taken as much time as the crappy, meant-to-be witty one you decided to type up. No, you are not humorous or witty in any way. No, your avatar is not amusing. You are a very disrespectful person for attempting to hijack this thread with your immaturity and need to get the last word in, but I am done responding to your boredom.

Thank you to those who have responded with opinions regarding the actual matter at hand.

HHM explained to you why some posters responded to you in that way. It is apparent the person you describe in your scenario has problems and to protect that person and hide those problems is the worst thing anyone can do as, as others stated, it will just happen again either in the same scenario or something similar. Expose the person (tough love is tough) and get them the help they really need via an appointment with a medical doctor. Best of luck to you. Could be just a form of OCD or something worse.