Full of Emotions

[bkconfused29]

Good Afternoon,

I have read through a lot of posts and find them all so helpful. This is exactly the support I need right now.

My husband and I are both 24 years old and got married 4 years ago. We have had to use credit cards to make ends meet and now have found ourselves $24,000 in debt. Our son was born about six months ago, and I have since been unemployed.

We stopped making our cc payments about two weeks ago and I have been on edge ever since and been through every emotion in the book. This is really a scary process.

We are contacting an attorney on Monday to get things started. We don't really have any assets. We live in Florida and our house is mortgaged with almost no equity, and we owe more on both of our vehicles than they are worth. From what I have read I understand that we will be able to continue to pay on our house and cars and keep them after bankruptcy. Am I correct in this?

I am just so nervous and scared. I really appreciate all of the information and helpful people I have found in this forum.

[StartingOver08]

Good Afternoon,

I have read through a lot of posts and find them all so helpful. This is exactly the support I need right now.

My husband and I are both 24 years old and got married 4 years ago. We have had to use credit cards to make ends meet and now have found ourselves $24,000 in debt. Our son was born about six months ago, and I have since been unemployed.

We stopped making our cc payments about two weeks ago and I have been on edge ever since and been through every emotion in the book. This is really a scary process.

We are contacting an attorney on Monday to get things started. We don't really have any assets. We live in Florida and our house is mortgaged with almost no equity, and we owe more on both of our vehicles than they are worth. From what I have read I understand that we will be able to continue to pay on our house and cars and keep them after bankruptcy. Am I correct in this?
I am just so nervous and scared. I really appreciate all of the information and helpful people I have found in this forum.

Yes, but why would you consider keeping upside cars and a (probably) upside down home? If you are going to file BK, take a good hard look at all of your debt and take advantage of the fresh start opportunity. You may as well surrender the cars at least and your home if it is upside down. Without having more information it is difficult to say, but don't drag the debt all the way through your BK and onto the other side.

[HakunaMatata]

Deciding to file BK is commonly the most challenging aspect. Many unintentionally accept the unwarranted stigma which emits notions of personal failure. Remind yourself you're moving forward -toward a fresh start -and you're making a business decision. Deciding on whether or not to keep houses and cars may feel personal; however, you need to forecast into your future. You have the opportunity to regain your financial strength. This should be your emphasis. While initially challenging, try to eliminate emotion. The process is a bit overwhelming at first. With a good attorney (and the amazing insight on the forum), the process eases. For most of us, BK isn't as complicated and scary as we originally perceived it to be.

Depending on your circumstances, you may not have to file in the immediate future. Give yourself some time to digest the process and allow the emotions to subside. I also recommend meeting with more than one consult attorney. The attorney interviewing process, for me, aided in gaining comfort, strength, and knowledge.

[bkconfused29]

Thank you both so much! Both posts are very encouraging and have given me hope for the future.

I will need to consider the future and whether or not to keep our vehicles. I really want and need stability for my son, so I will do whatever I can to avoid losing our home. We have only been homeowners for a few years, which is why we have so little equity in our home. I feel that making the decision to keep and invest in our home is the correct decision for my family's future.

On the other hand, you are completely right, the vehicles are a completely different situation. Right now we are only using one, since I am not working. We could easily part with the other one, which would make a lot of sense financially.

I will take the advice and speak to more than one attorney. We received referrals to one attorney in particular and will call him tomorrow. I am going to do some research today to look for other ones in our area.

Again, thank you very much!

[AngelinaCatHub]

Deciding to file BK is commonly the most challenging aspect. Many unintentionally accept the unwarranted stigma which emits notions of personal failure. Remind yourself you're moving forward -toward a fresh start -and you're making a business decision. Deciding on whether or not to keep houses and cars may feel personal; however, you need to forecast into your future. You have the opportunity to regain your financial strength. This should be your emphasis. While initially challenging, try to eliminate emotion. The process is a bit overwhelming at first. With a good attorney (and the amazing insight on the forum), the process eases. For most of us, BK isn't as complicated and scary as we originally perceived it to be.

Depending on your circumstances, you may not have to file in the immediate future. Give yourself some time to digest the process and allow the emotions to subside. I also recommend meeting with more than one consult attorney. The attorney interviewing process, for me, aided in gaining comfort, strength, and knowledge.

Excellent post and advice.

Believe it or not, I remember when I was 20 (feels like 80 years ago), and I wished to have instant success, the American dream of a home and two cars.

Our new hosts are in a learning curve. The important thing right now is their new family and the marriage in all.

I agree with all the above, rent a place, unload the upsidedown cars, and find a good used ONE. I mean, one car. If both are not working, Mom is home, one is all that is needed. Insurance and other expenses will drop. It is actually wonderful these folks are learning this, this soon as they lived on deficit spending (where have I heard that?) for far too long. You don't spend money you DO NOT have. It gets you here. Other things can too, but mainly it is the wants that get young folks here, not the needs.

I think this nice couple is very wise to make the business decision they have so early on, and I hope they will learn the lesson it took us 60 years to learn.

Welcome to the BK Forum. You are among friends. 'Hub

[helpmeout]

Thank you both so much! Both posts are very encouraging and have given me hope for the future.

I will need to consider the future and whether or not to keep our vehicles. I really want and need stability for my son, so I will do whatever I can to avoid losing our home. We have only been homeowners for a few years, which is why we have so little equity in our home. I feel that making the decision to keep and invest in our home is the correct decision for my family's future.

On the other hand, you are completely right, the vehicles are a completely different situation. Right now we are only using one, since I am not working. We could easily part with the other one, which would make a lot of sense financially.

I am new here, as well. Let me tell you a little bit of my story. A little over 4 years ago, my ex and I separated. I wanted to keep the kids in their home. I went out and got a full-time job (I was a SAHM until that point) so that I could. My ex and I got divorced and I got the house. I refinanced the mortgage out of his name. I added the home equity loan (we got this in the middle of the divorce to pay for the lawyers and pay off the $10K credit card debt that we had and had his name on it) and the $20K in cc bills that I had (that should have told me right there that keeping the house wasn't the best plan). I thought I could do the juggle. And I would have been able to pull it off had the kids not needed childcare. But I am years away from that.

It is now over 4 years later and I have a mortgage payment that averages a little over $2K a month and credit card debt of almost $40K.

When I first came here, I wanted to keep the house (a house which needs repairs that I simply don't have the money to pay for). Another poster here told me to take a hard and realistic look at my finances and list ALL of my expenses. And I did, even the ones that don't come every month.

I can't afford to keep the house. I am keeping the car even though it is upside down. It's a good, gas economical car which is important given that I work 20 miles from my house. It also has less than 3 years left on it. May not be the best decision, but I don't have the money lying around to buy another and this one should last me another 8 years, at least.

I really suggest that you take a hard look at your finances to see if you can actually keep the house. Because it is going to be easier to move your kid now as opposed to when they are my kids' ages (8 & 10). Believe me, I am not looking forward to when I have to tell them we are moving.

When you are scared (like I was when I got a divorce), you really don't make the best of choices and consider all possibilities.

[HakunaMatata]

All three of my consult attorneys were referrals. One was a complete moron! Even if you feel comfortable with the first, do yourself a favor and interview a few more. There's plenty of knowledge to be gained. I found it frustrating that legal opinions/advice I received weren't uniform. Thankfully, the BK Forum helped me sort through differing perspectives!

Helpmeout offered wonderful advice! I'm sure you can relate to the child-rearing concerns. The last quote is very significant: When you are scared (like I was when I got a divorce), you really don't make the best of choices and consider all possibilities. This is why I encourage you to plan your BK. It doesn't appear you need to jump in with both feet immediately. Test the waters by interviewing attorneys and involving yourself on this forum. Gaining knowledge will reduce your fears.

I purchased my first house at your age. I finished college and my elders encouraged me to invest in real estate. I played by the "rules" -found a reasonable house in a highly sought-after area, maintained fabulous credit, and put 20% down. Fast-forward to today...this investment was a significant contributor in my decision to file BK. I was faced with major home repairs while enduring a challenging economy and associated housing market decline. My "investment" has become a financial loss. Thankfully, I've gained knowledge from this unanticipated trial and error. Unlike you, I don't have children to consider. However, if I did and I fostered the knowledge I have now, given current housing market conditions and the meager increase predictions, I wouldn't reaffirm a mortgage. I'd rather save and purchase again when the market stabilizes.

[bkconfused29]

You are all so knowledgeable on this subject and I really appreciate all of the insight. I am taking it a step at a time and taking in every bit of information I can get.

As far as our home goes, our mortgage is only $700 a month and $55 a month in homeowner's insurance. The land our home is on was purchased by my grandfather, so we don't owe anything on that. We purchased brand new a couple of years ago, so there are no huge repairs in the foreseeable future.

I have looked into rental properties in our area and the cheapest I have found is only $100 less per month. What are your thoughts on this situation? Would it still be in our best interest to give up our home and rent? I know the ultimate decision will need to be made by my husband and I, but I welcome any opinions.

I agree with all the above, rent a place, unload the upsidedown cars, and find a good used ONE. I mean, one car. If both are not working, Mom is home, one is all that is needed. Insurance and other expenses will drop. It is actually wonderful these folks are learning this, this soon as they lived on deficit spending (where have I heard that?) for far too long. You don't spend money you DO NOT have. It gets you here. Other things can too, but mainly it is the wants that get young folks here, not the needs.

I do agree with all of that. We will need to save some money to purchase a car, as my husband does have to have transportation to work, but I know we could find a good, inexpensive one. If I ever manage to find another job (believe me, I have been trying) then we will just figure out a way to make our transportation work. I know that we can work it out, even with just one vehicle.

I really suggest that you take a hard look at your finances to see if you can actually keep the house. Because it is going to be easier to move your kid now as opposed to when they are my kids' ages (8 & 10). Believe me, I am not looking forward to when I have to tell them we are moving.

When you are scared (like I was when I got a divorce), you really don't make the best of choices and consider all possibilities.

You are right. It will be much easier to move my son now then it will be years from now. I know I am not thinking clearly right now. I just never imagined I would be in this situation, and am quite overwhelmed. I do need to sit down with my husband and take a hard look at our finances and put everything in perspective. Thank you!

All three of my consult attorneys were referrals. One was a complete moron! Even if you feel comfortable with the first, do yourself a favor and interview a few more. There's plenty of knowledge to be gained. I found it frustrating that legal opinions/advice I received weren't uniform. Thankfully, the BK Forum helped me sort through differing perspectives!

I honestly had not even thought to look into different attorneys until your previous post. I definitely don't want to be working with a moron. I will get to work on finding some more attorneys to consult with.

You all have really put my mind at ease, already. Thanks for all the support!

[ChaseDidThis]

As far as our home goes, our mortgage is only $700 a month and $55 a month in homeowner's insurance. The land our home is on was purchased by my grandfather, so we don't owe anything on that. We purchased brand new a couple of years ago, so there are no huge repairs in the foreseeable future.

I agree with your logic on this, I am wondering where everyone lives that rent is so cheap, Here in Upstate NY, it's much cheaper to buy than to rent, unless your going to rent a 1 bedroom apartment. Almost everyone I know is paying 150% more to rent than others who have a mortgage. Now, this is comparing similar properties, If you bought to much house to begin with, then thats a different situation.

When I was your age the bank wouldn't even talk to me about a mortgage, it took a long time to be able to buy our house and I wouldn't give it up easily, you do have to live somewhere.

[LimpDisc]

You also have the option of choosing to retain your cars on the statement of intentions. This will allow you to keeps the cars through your BK and let them go when the time is right. It's good advice to not keep a car that's upside down, but we all need transportation.

We need both of our car payments to qualify for chapter 7, but I don't want the one car in the future because it's upside down. Some time after discharge I will let that car go when the time is right.

Your attorney will give you the best advice after looking at income & expenses.

[jshep]

My wife and I have been married 26 years, and we were booth really nervous and scared. Part of what it took for us was just hearing from someone we knew and trusted that filing bankruptcy was a positive thing in their lives. In fact, our friend told us "it was one of the best things we ever did for ourselves".

I know you don't know me, but, we are at the point now where we just completed our 341 meeting, and it has been a very positive thing for us. I was just talking to my wife about this, and if we had not filed, I'm 51 years old, and I would never be able to make enough money in the rest of my life I have left to pay it off, much less be able to pay our current bills, and save money to do anything that would make all the work worth it.

Now, we can finally see light at the end of the tunnel. We ended up in the mess we were in when the company I worked for for 22 out of my 30 years of getting a paycheck went under last year. I found myself without a job for the first time in my life, and I was very afraid and really didn't know what to do. Filing Bankruptcy really gave us the second chance we needed.

Good luck.

[AngelinaCatHub]

I agree with your logic on this, I am wondering where everyone lives that rent is so cheap, Here in Upstate NY, it's much cheaper to buy than to rent, unless your going to rent a 1 bedroom apartment. Almost everyone I know is paying 150% more to rent than others who have a mortgage. Now, this is comparing similar properties, If you bought to much house to begin with, then thats a different situation.

When I was your age the bank wouldn't even talk to me about a mortgage, it took a long time to be able to buy our house and I wouldn't give it up easily, you do have to live somewhere.

Yes! If this were true today, and the Govmint didn't push for everyone to own a home free (so to speak, easy loans no down, etc.) then we would not be in the mess we are now with the fact that 'Bammy home redemption has been canceled or never worked at all.

If you do not have a stake in the place, you don't appreciate it.

I agree about this is a good time for our Op to "fix" it, as when children get into school, it is tough to leave friends. I remember, back in the '20's (LOL) that when I was in 7th grade, we had to move. I was never accepted in the 8th grade at the new school. I remember, so it is relevant. (ANYTHING I can remember yesterday is relevant). 'Hub

[AngelinaCatHub]

My wife and I have been married 26 years, and we were booth really nervous and scared. Part of what it took for us was just hearing from someone we knew and trusted that filing bankruptcy was a positive thing in their lives. In fact, our friend told us "it was one of the best things we ever did for ourselves".

I know you don't know me, but, we are at the point now where we just completed our 341 meeting, and it has been a very positive thing for us. I was just talking to my wife about this, and if we had not filed, I'm 51 years old, and I would never be able to make enough money in the rest of my life I have left to pay it off, much less be able to pay our current bills, and save money to do anything that would make all the work worth it.

Now, we can finally see light at the end of the tunnel. We ended up in the mess we were in when the company I worked for for 22 out of my 30 years of getting a paycheck went under last year. I found myself without a job for the first time in my life, and I was very afraid and really didn't know what to do. Filing Bankruptcy really gave us the second chance we needed.

Good luck.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. How true this is. I only pray that those who do this, do not take it lightly, learn and not repeat. It is one of our great Countries benefits that we should appreciate. One more chance. 'Hub

[Michigan1951]

Ditto to all postings above!! With us being over the hill so to speak, we decided to reaff on the house and cars. The interest rates are low with all of them. But, all our cases and lives are different here. The younger couples do have a gift of being young and can either start totally fresh or not (no reaffs). With them having little ones at home I can see the more difficult decisions that for us right now. In your heart you know what the right choice will be. If you don't, stay around here for a while, you will. Lots of honest caring people on board. Trust me......

[jshep]

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. How true this is. I only pray that those who do this, do not take it lightly, learn and not repeat. It is one of our great Countries benefits that we should appreciate. One more chance. 'Hub

I definately do not plan to ever find myself in this sort of financial condition again.

The thing I noticed, however, is way more than half of the people called up while I was there had filed for bankruptcy in the past, and were on at least their second time around.