It looks like Chapter 7 for me

[helpmeout]

Met with an attorney today and spoke with one on the phone yesterday. The one on the phone didn't want to meet in person unless I hired him. Cheaper than the one I met with today only problem is that he's based out of New York and only comes up here when he has clients to see. Didn't get the impression that he was all that interested in the business and I wasn't comfortable with him.

The one today is more money and wants it paid before my case is filed. But will accept payments. Only problem is that I need to file before March just in case I get a bonus at work (which is going to pay for my kids' summer childcare), which will throw off the 6 month test. I would still be under the median in year test, but that isn't the one that counts. I can't withdraw from my 401K without a hardship. Don't think they will go for why I want to withdraw, don't want them to know anyway. I can probably come up with most of the money until I get my tax refund, but may not get it in time to file before March. And there is no way that I can keep on this merry go round. If I don't get the bonus, I am not going to get through the summer (don't have the money to pay for childcare) if I am paying the mortgage. I think I am going to go with this guy. The other lawyers I called have not called back.

One thing that I want to run by someone who is familiar with NJ foreclosure, he said that I could live up to 2 years in my house while the foreclosure process is going on and that once I file, I am to stop paying the mortgage, but need to until that point for the Schedule J.

I still hate having to declare bankruptcy but I need to take care of my kids. One thing for sure is that there is no way I am ever having a credit card again. And I am going to teach my kids the importance of living within one's means. Part of my problem was that I tried to keep the kids in the family home after my divorce. A home that I couldn't afford.

Also, I talked to my cousin over the week-end. I was surprised at how supportive she was. I thought that she would be dead set against me declaring bankruptcy. But she was very understanding.

Thank you for listening if you got this far in my rambling. Did I mention that I haven't been sleeping well most nights?

[frogger]

It's a tough decision to make, but once you decide what to do, you have a direction to go. You can then make your decisions based upon your decision, not emotions.

Good luck, we're here to help, and we all have had sleepless nights. It will get better.

[HakunaMatata]

Frogger makes an excellent point...once you file, you have direction. You can move forward instead of riding the spinning, stomach-turning merry-go-round.

Attorneys need to receive full payment prior to filing C7 cases. If not, they could be deemed unsecured creditors. Your phone consult attorney doesn't sound like a good fit. If possible, I'd try to meet with a few more consult attorneys. For me, the attorney interviewing process aided in gaining knowledge and perspective (this forum has helped tremendously as well). While legal fees are a consideration, they don't necessarily correlate to quality of service (ex/ higher cost = higher level of service). You deserve to find someone who will properly represent you. You should also feel comfortable with this attorney and have a solid working relationship.

I'm unfamiliar with NJ foreclosure laws. Since this is a cause of concern for you, I suggest researching the foreclosure timeline and having an attorney substantiate your research. Factors to consider: judicial or non-judicial process, advertisement, redemption period (bear in mind, filing can delay foreclosure as your lender will need to file a motion for Relief from the Automatic Stay).

I'm delighted to hear your cousin was supportive of your decision! I was rather candid about my BK contemplation; and, I was shocked at the positive and encouraging responses I received (including my saved-every-penny-since-the-Great-Depression-Grandmother)! I discovered numerous individuals who had filed. The more I discussed my "business decision" with others, the more I learned I was far from alone and the more support I received.

Deciding to file can, initially, be a tough pill to swallow. Oftentimes, emotion is the most challenging aspect to overcome. Once you eliminate emotion from the equation, you will recognize you're making a business decision. This decision grants you the opportunity for a fresh financial foundation (and fewer sleepless nights!). You've already grasped lessons embedded within this process; and you intend to share them with your children.

Best of luck to you!