Missing the first payments...

[JEM]

Amazingly enough, USAA didn't call today (*yet*--I probably just jinxed it)--I figured they would since we were officially late.

I spent the day saving CC statements to a file on the computer for later printing if needed. How many months is enough? After we stop paying, I'm guessing we won't have access to statements anymore and should just save the "collection" letters at that point?

[DeadManCrawling]

Yes, save everything you can, including collection letters. That way you can be sure the matrix is correct. Credit reports are a good start, but don't always reflect everything.

In our case, attorney asked for 6 months CC statements. Since we haven't paid anything in almost three years, there aren't any. we supplied the collection letters, credit reports, and last actual statement from almost three years back.

[MakinMeCrazy]

Hi Everyone...
I just have to add my feelings here.we too just retained a BK lawyer, we have always paid our bills on time......well this month everything went wrong and we found our selves in this mess. 2 years ago we got a huge monetary settlement from our pension plan, we thought that money would last forever! I paid some bills , gifted our son 5000, paid back my sister, and decided it was time for US to enjoy life a litle bit. We both come from very poor working class families, and to us, this was our life time dream, to just have a good time for awhile, my husband retired, a great part time job in the offing, bills brought down....then BOOM ......everything went wrong, NO job, just a pension, the economy and us BOTH crashed! so now after having a great time gambling and have just a good life, once AGAIN BROKE!!
Back to the subject, I wanted to commit suicide and thats not BS! I am still getting sick to my stomach when I realise, most of this was my fault, I seriously for the first time in my life WANTED to die.
We retained a lawyer, and are planning to file this spring, hoping to let that gift to my son fall off a lil bit, and NOW I am mixed emotions, did I make a mistake filing>...should I have tuffed it out........my husband is no longer a young strong man, he can't work like a 30 year old, I see him coming home from "day work jobs" dragging himself into the house, telling me how easy his day was,,,when he looks soooooooo tired, I want to cry. I look at it 2 ways........we'll make it thru this or we will STROKE out before the spring. anyways thats my "vent" and my point is that well...even us older folks screw up, think we'd know by now huh? so those feeling the OP was talking about definately I can relate too. I know this will get worse before it gets better...if it wasn't for this board and this is the truth,,,,,I don't know how i would have handled my emotions, YOU GUYS AND LADIES ON THIS FORUM ARE MY LIFELINE,,,,,,THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!

[sbush]

I was just going to start this topic today! I get paid on the first of the month and usually all bills are paid by the 5th...taking my entire check! This will be the time when I stop paying. I'm just sick over it. Although I'm technically broke and use credit cards to pay living expenses, I've never missed a payment. My credit score isn't great because all credit cards are maxed, so it's a catch 22!
I'm just sick over this. My husband isn't filing, but he's being super supportive. I'm just stressed to no end. I have to do this though. I want to hurry up so I can start rebuilding! I just have to keep reminding myself that I have my house payment and car payment to keep my credit building. I've never been late, so hopefully I can get a decent score soon! It's going to be so hard!

I'm glad someone mentioned collections couldn't call other people. I'm really worried they will be calling me at work! Can this happen? I just don't want anyone to know what I"m doing. Thankfully I work in insurance and it's very common for banks to call here all the time. I will just have to call them back to tell them what's happening.

[JEM]

I was just going to start this topic today! I get paid on the first of the month and usually all bills are paid by the 5th...taking my entire check! This will be the time when I stop paying. I'm just sick over it. Although I'm technically broke and use credit cards to pay living expenses, I've never missed a payment. My credit score isn't great because all credit cards are maxed, so it's a catch 22!
I'm just sick over this. My husband isn't filing, but he's being super supportive. I'm just stressed to no end. I have to do this though. I want to hurry up so I can start rebuilding! I just have to keep reminding myself that I have my house payment and car payment to keep my credit building. I've never been late, so hopefully I can get a decent score soon! It's going to be so hard!

I'm glad someone mentioned collections couldn't call other people. I'm really worried they will be calling me at work! Can this happen? I just don't want anyone to know what I"m doing. Thankfully I work in insurance and it's very common for banks to call here all the time. I will just have to call them back to tell them what's happening.

This is us. And had we been able to stop the cycle earlier---it might not have gotten AS bad. Who knows though. It was so easy to "rely" on the CC's when something came up--a deductible, some medical expenses, dental expenses etc...

Then it got to the place we were using the CC's for gas each week, and groceries and paying the util. bill, the water bill and using our paycheck to pay for the house and CC bills (with nothing left over for the necessities) , meanwhile never paying them down at all.

Bad cycle to be--hard to get out of, unless you stop paying them and use the money for living expenses again.

[debtsucks]

The Collectors can call you at work as long as you allow them to. They can not disclose what they are calling about to anyone but you, and if you tell them that they are not allowed to call at work, they have to stop otherwise they will be violating FDC laws. It is bad enough your personal lines are going to be ringing off the hook, so stop them in their tracks when it comes to them calling you at work.

[bulletproof77]

NO Guilt anymore....

I know what you are feeling...we are all raised to pay our debts, no matter what. But when that "No matter what" destroys our lives and becomes a never ending life/marriage destroying monster of it's own it's time to say "ENOUGH" ! No individual destroyed our economy, no-one raises their hand and says "Lay me off"...We have all been conditioned to live far beyond our means because that's the so called "American Dream"...to have more than your neighbors, friends or relatives. That McMansion with the horrible payment you live in fear of every month, that shiny over-priced car, and in my particular case the over-spending ex-wife with a myopic view of the future...I DUMPED IT ALL, every last stinking bit of it. Her, the debt, the cars, the house, everything. I wanted simple and boy, I got it. BK'd all my debt, walked away from that "time stealing" McMansion (Oh gee," I have 10 minutes this weekend, guess it's off to Home Depot for more crap") gotta keep up with the neighbors etc...Just when I thought I had won the rat race, they got faster rats...No, I have no guilt, the banks don't care, the government doesn't seem to care and I just got tired of playing the game so I took my ball and I went home..Life is simple now, and I like it that way..

[sbush]

I always feel so much better about my decision after coming on here. I know it's what I need to do, but it's still hard. I can't wait to not pay bills this month and go pay cash for my kids Christmas gifts!

[JEM]

I always feel so much better about my decision after coming on here. I know it's what I need to do, but it's still hard. I can't wait to not pay bills this month and go pay cash for my kids Christmas gifts!

I read here multiple times a day. It keeps me sane. Otherwise I start freaking out about the unknown, worrying about every little thing. Doubting our decision. Coming here helps calm my fears because I can ask questions, or feel like I'm "around" people that understand. It's a great source of information AND a great support group.

Unfortunately for us, we were behind on so many things trying to keep up with the credit cards, that it's probably going to take a month to get back to having any money at all--even though we won't be paying the CC's this month. We got behind on our water bill, our util. bill, etc....trying to keep up and not be late on CC payments. So this month I will be trying to make "double" payments and get us caught back up on the necessities.

Plus a few things for the kids for Christmas. I'm trying to do practical gifts that they'll need anyway (like jammies, some clothes) with a few "fun" things. They are still young (7 & 9) and have toys on their list.

[BrokenBrklyn]

I felt guilty about it.. but it's really nice to know that you're secure in paying the bills that actually matter in order to live and that you're buying things you CAN afford with cash! Instead of worrying about if you'll be able to afford something or not, or worry about putting bills on credit cards because you just gave 600.00 over to citibank and can't afford to pay your bills.

Think of how great it will be once you get a lawyer, file and how it'll be when it's all over!!

[Meatstick]

This is us. And had we been able to stop the cycle earlier---it might not have gotten AS bad. Who knows though. It was so easy to "rely" on the CC's when something came up--a deductible, some medical expenses, dental expenses etc...

Then it got to the place we were using the CC's for gas each week, and groceries and paying the util. bill, the water bill and using our paycheck to pay for the house and CC bills (with nothing left over for the necessities) , meanwhile never paying them down at all.

Bad cycle to be--hard to get out of, unless you stop paying them and use the money for living expenses again.

We have the exact same scenario. Throw in more than a handful of rate jacks and it go to the point where we were cycling our CC bills to avoid 30 day lates and piling on the fees. I was also working a fulltime job 40 hrs plus a part-time job 20 -30 hrs for a couple of years and it wasnt really making any fuggin dent in the balances. I finally got the courage to talk to an attorney a few weeks ago. He suggested that I stop paying the CC immediately and only pay food,medical,housing and transportation. All the rest of it said to stop paying and give myself a raise ! Told me to quit the part-time job as it may force us into a Ch.13 and besides working 7 days a week is not anyway to live life no matter what. Told me to refuse any OT at my fulltime employer. Said if the numbers work out we will file Ch.7, if not Ch.13. Wait until we file and spend the 2009 Income Tax return (on allowable items) and then file BK in March and start all over.

Was a relief to talk to someone who could give us some resolution. Now we have stopped paying and are getting between 30-40 phone calls each day but so much better and I am not as tired and grumpy from non-stop working.

It is the start of a new beginning !!


Meatstick

[JEM]

We have the exact same scenario. Throw in more than a handful of rate jacks and it go to the point where we were cycling our CC bills to avoid 30 day lates and piling on the fees. I was also working a fulltime job 40 hrs plus a part-time job 20 -30 hrs for a couple of years and it wasnt really making any fuggin dent in the balances. I finally got the courage to talk to an attorney a few weeks ago. He suggested that I stop paying the CC immediately and only pay food,medical,housing and transportation. All the rest of it said to stop paying and give myself a raise ! Told me to quit the part-time job as it may force us into a Ch.13 and besides working 7 days a week is not anyway to live life no matter what. Told me to refuse any OT at my fulltime employer. Said if the numbers work out we will file Ch.7, if not Ch.13. Wait until we file and spend the 2009 Income Tax return (on allowable items) and then file BK in March and start all over.

Was a relief to talk to someone who could give us some resolution. Now we have stopped paying and are getting between 30-40 phone calls each day but so much better and I am not as tired and grumpy from non-stop working.

It is the start of a new beginning !!


Meatstick

This sounds about like the timeline we'll be on too.

We'll need the refund for some of the attorney's fees (the balance of what we can't save between now and then) and hubby and 9 yr old need new glasses and exams. Stock up on non-perishables, any house maintenance that will need fixing etc.....

I will be leaving my PT job in the next few weeks. I was already planning on leaving as we got new mgmt, and things are BAD. I work just a few hours a week, like 6-9 hrs each week, and it's not worth the anxiety it's causing.

[Meatstick]

Well good luck to you JEM I am sure with maybe being on the same timelines we will continue to cross paths.

Our major worry is our income which by the end of this year will be $120k total. My wife isnt working anymore, I will not work my 2nd job anymore and the OT I did get from my main job has all but disappeared so that will put us right at the median income or just above. The 6 month previous before filing we will be over by about $7.5k but completing all the deductions on the 2nd part of the Means test we qualify with no presumption of abuse. We just hope the Trustee at the 341 doesn't pop a vessel when he sees the past 3 years averaged $120k income. Now with my wife not working and myself not working a 2nd job we will fall to around $75k-$80k for a family of 5 which is average for our area. From what I have read it shouldn't matter as it is all based on the previous 6 months income and not a full year but the anxiety is just killing me right now.



Meatstick

[JEM]

Well good luck to you JEM I am sure with maybe being on the same timelines we will continue to cross paths.

Our major worry is our income which by the end of this year will be $120k total. My wife isnt working anymore, I will not work my 2nd job anymore and the OT I did get from my main job has all but disappeared so that will put us right at the median income or just above. The 6 month previous before filing we will be over by about $7.5k but completing all the deductions on the 2nd part of the Means test we qualify with no presumption of abuse. We just hope the Trustee at the 341 doesn't pop a vessel when he sees the past 3 years averaged $120k income. Now with my wife not working and myself not working a 2nd job we will fall to around $75k-$80k for a family of 5 which is average for our area. From what I have read it shouldn't matter as it is all based on the previous 6 months income and not a full year but the anxiety is just killing me right now.



Meatstick

Ya. The anxiety is getting to me too. Today is the first day I've had creditors (USAA) call and I know it's only going to get worse. March seems like a LONNNGGGGG way away.

[JKPDX]

Don't worry, JEM, the calls get easier. I must have fielded 200 calls from only three creditors as I didn't make the payments. I think Discover calls every two hours. I just didn't answer any number I didn't recognize. For the first 20 days or so they didn't leave a message, then occasionally I would receive an automated message. It's like a little game... keep away!

I felt the same way when I stopped paying my cards. I went in to sign my BK paperwork and said I just paid my cards that day. My attorney said, "why? You are just throwing money away!" Interesting point!

You will be amazed how much income you have when you aren't spending your entire payroll on credit card minimum payments.