Lost and Scared....

[florida]

Please bear with me - I'm so scared.

I am in Florida, family of 4. Our combined income is $75,000.

We are currently sinking....FAST.
Please don't tell me how stupid we were...we know. We just don't know what to do next. Please help tell us what to do.

For the past 10 years we have lived off of student loans to make ends meet. We have never been late on any payment - but the end has come. We are unable to get anymore student loans because we've reached the limit.

To make ends meet we have tapped all of our credit cards with convience checks since the beginning of the year. The last one we did was last week for $1,300.

But now - that option is also gone because we have no more room on our cards.

What do we do????????????? I'm scared out of my mind. I started reading these forums in the middle of the night and have discovered that now we can't even file for bankruptcy because it looks like we would be accused of fraud because of all the recent credit card use.

I'm scared to not pay a bill - but we have NO way of paying ALL of them.
We have 2 mortgages, 2 car payments, and over $50,000 worth of credit card debt.

Please help.........

[nc73]

First of all stop panicking and read over the forum. It will make you feel better. Stop paying all your credit cards and think about filing at some point. So instead of typing a step by step guide, I suggest you read over the forum & especially the FAQ part.

[Flowers]

No one here would call you names . . . we are here to help.
Lots of folks in Florida on this forum and lots of information.
Try to get to a lawyer, knowledge will help you and there will be relief.

[florida]

Thank you for your response - I've been reading this forum since I found it in the middle of the night.
I know I am in a panic - my stomache is in knots. I'm just really scared.
I'll continue reading. Thanks again.

[holycrap]

Thank you for your response - I've been reading this forum since I found it in the middle of the night.
I know I am in a panic - my stomache is in knots. I'm just really scared.
I'll continue reading. Thanks again.

I cannot tell you how much this forum has helped my state of mind. Coming to the realization that i was in a situation that was un-managable was painful, but reading this forum and seeing that people with my same issues had dealt with their problems and come out the other side better of than they had been in years made me hopeful.

There are steps you must go through to figure out where you stand and what direction to go, but you can begin today on your new path.

You and your family will make it through this rough patch. just remember these feelings so it will never get this way again.

[kenshirley]

We have all either been there or are there, hence we are here.
Take it easy, do some reading, there is lots of information here. Try not to ask too many questions at once as some will get lost.
Seeing an attorney for a consult is pretty cheap if at no cost to you for the first session.
For many that's the way to start out and gives you some peice of mind.

[tkharvey]

I know it feels horrible. This process is extremely difficult. But there is hope. My hubby and I were in the same boat. Only, we had over 140K in CC debt, two large mortgages and two car payments. We didn't want to even think about bankruptcy, but there got to a point where WE HAD NO OTHER OPTION. We lived off our HELOC and convenience checks for over a year....until there was nothing left. I couldn't sleep. My husband tossed and turned all night. We didn't know what to do. Then, we met with an attorney and I discovered this forum. It really isn't the end of the word to file BK. Yes, your credit is messed up for awhile, but after what we have been through, I will never use credit again (and have lived on cash only basis since January). It's amazing how much cash you will have when all your money doesn't go to the bills.

When we originally decided to file, we were going to file a Chapter 13 to save our house. However, we have come to the realization that we needed a total fresh start and are surrender our $3,200 house payment in the BK and will rent a smaller home for a couple years. We also surrendered my van which had a payment of $576. Although we "officially" arent filing until next Thursday, I can tell you that I feel the worst is behind us. You have to do what you have to do for yourself and your family. While my husband was so ashamed at first and didn't want to file, he realizes that it's our only option.

Stop paying your credit cards. I know it's hard to do (it was for us) because we always prided ourselves for paying on time. You WILL be able to file BK but need to put a few months in between the large cash advance you just made from the convenience check. Please meet with an attorney to get a better picture of your options. Please don't panic. It really will be OK. Good luck!

[DeadManCrawling]

Yes, welcome to the forum. Many helpful people here.

It is a tough realization you have arrived at, as have the rest of us. First thing is to take care of your families needs.

Quit paying any unsecured credit bills if you intend to file bankruptcy. These include credit cards, unseecured loans, and so on. A BK lawyer may advice you to make minimum payments for a while, if you can, to reduce the risk of these cash advances being considered fraud. They cannot put you in jail for this in any case. The worst case scenario is generally that you would be required to pay them off, possibly in a chapter 13.

If you plan to let any vehicles be repo'd, you'd want to stop paying on them as well. Use the money to pay for utilities, food, medical care.

The main thing is this: Put your family first, make sure they are taken care of. BK attorneys generally give free consults. Talk to a few and you will get a much better feel for what your options are.

It is not the end of the world, though it may feel like it. I wa a total emotional wreck when we started the process three years ago. We still have not filed, so there is time for you to learn. Educating yourself is the key that will bring you peace of mind.

If you plan to keep the home, you should keep paying. Some people stop paying and try to work out a modification. We did exactly this and just received an offer that reduces our principal balance by 65k and would knock our payment from 3800/month to 1100 per month for a while. I don't kknow if we will take it or not, as the details are not clear and we are waiting for the paperwork.

This might be an option for you, too.

No matter what, keep your family first, always. The rest will sort out as you learn more and learn the laws.

Best regards,

-dmc

[justplaintired]

Don't panic there is a light at the end of the tunnel. First thing, quit using cc. You need to put some distance between your last large charges (convience checks) and filing. You can not file on the student loans, those you are stuck with. All your cc can be filed on. However you really need to quit using credit. Start living on your income. Can you survive on your current income if you quit cc? Another thing you will need to figure out is whether keeping 2 car payments is wise? Or if even keeping the house makes financial sense.


Also do the means test. http://www.legalconsumer.com/bankrup...tate.php?st=FL


You are in the beginning of this, lots of things to be figured out. Believe me when I say we have all been there, maybe in different ways, but we have all been to what felt like the end of the road. Getting to where I am not from where I started has been a long road, but I promise you this, if you do it right, it's the best thing I personally have ever done for myself and my family. But in order to get to where I am now, you need to read as much as you possible can on how the process works, understand as much about BK as you possibly can, and it honestly makes it go smoother when you know what is ahead of you.

Don't worry, ok so I know that sounds completely impossible, but honestly, it will work out. First step maybe meeting some attorneys. Get some legal advise. And stay on this forum, learn, learn, learn, it's the best place to be during this process, we are all here for the same thing. You are amoung friends here.

[AngelinaCat]

Dearest Florida: You actually are very lucky and don't know it yet. You have found this forum, and you can read and study up on the situation. The more you can educate yourself, the better.

You will also learn to not do as we did, that is to hire the first attorney you speak to. We went into the process blind as bats, and found this attorney on the Internet yet. When we went and talked with her, it sounded like she was so understanding and compassionate that we hired her on the spot.

That was the worst thing we could have done. As the process wore on, we found that she was non-communicative to our questions and emails, and other than a few sketchy instructions when we first got the packet of paperwork to fill out, totally non-informative of what to NOT do while waiting and planning to file. Thus we made some really grievous mistakes along the way that cost us greatly. Fortunately, we have a good Trustee whom I think could see beyond the face of the situation and worked with us. Any other trustee would have dismissed us.

We only found this forum several months AFTER we filed, and the mistakes were catching up. If you wish, search out our pen names of 'AngelinaCat' and 'AngelinaCatHub' (my hubby) and you can see some of our travails. We joined in April 2008.

Good luck to you, and I can assure you that as bleak as it looks now, it DOES get better!

[sigferl]

Thanks for your post FL. Welcome to this forum and we are all here to help you.

I have a different opinion about getting out of non-medical debt than many of the others on this forum so you can decide whick advice to keep and which to reject.

I find that not everyone has the same understanding of hard work and frugal living and some may have never even considered them.

I find that advice like that of the Dave Ramsey the radio talk show host to be very helpfull in permanently solving debt problems by making simple lifestyle changes.

God Bless America

Please bear with me - I'm so scared.

I am in Florida, family of 4. Our combined income is $75,000.

We are currently sinking....FAST.
Please don't tell me how stupid we were...we know. We just don't know what to do next. Please help tell us what to do.

For the past 10 years we have lived off of student loans to make ends meet. We have never been late on any payment - but the end has come. We are unable to get anymore student loans because we've reached the limit.

To make ends meet we have tapped all of our credit cards with convience checks since the beginning of the year. The last one we did was last week for $1,300.

But now - that option is also gone because we have no more room on our cards.

What do we do????????????? I'm scared out of my mind. I started reading these forums in the middle of the night and have discovered that now we can't even file for bankruptcy because it looks like we would be accused of fraud because of all the recent credit card use.

I'm scared to not pay a bill - but we have NO way of paying ALL of them.
We have 2 mortgages, 2 car payments, and over $50,000 worth of credit card debt.

Please help.........

[lifelesson]

This forum will help you understand alot more then I did when we filed. I wish we had found it before filing. It does have lots of information on it. Good luck

[florida]

Thanks for all your kind responses.

If we didn't have credit card debt - we would actually have money to pay for living expenses without using credit.
It would still be paycheck to paycheck - but so much better. I think we could begin to breathe.

I am going to start looking at attorneys and determine "when" we can actually plan on filing. I see that it is recommended to visit more than 1 - so I will do so. I will also try to find board certified lawyers.

I am still VERY uneasy about *not* making our payments. I know it is necessary - but gee - my stomache burns thinking about it.

[readytofile]

Thanks for all your kind responses.

If we didn't have credit card debt - we would actually have money to pay for living expenses without using credit.
It would still be paycheck to paycheck - but so much better. I think we could begin to breathe.

I am going to start looking at attorneys and determine "when" we can actually plan on filing. I see that it is recommended to visit more than 1 - so I will do so. I will also try to find board certified lawyers.

I am still VERY uneasy about *not* making our payments. I know it is necessary - but gee - my stomache burns thinking about it.

Trust us, you'll feel SO much better. We had read on here about not paying our CC. I asked the lawyer and he confirmed that there was no point in paying the CC any longer because we'd basically be throwing it away once we filed bankruptcy. It's been 4 weeks since I stopped paying the credit card bills. I can't tell you how good it feels to actually be able to buy groceries for my family again

[AngelinaCat]

One of the best things to start practicing, is to learn to live on 'Cash Only'. It IS hard to do. Many of us, 'Hub and I included, were so used to whipping out the plastic whenever, and for whatever that we got into very bad habits.

Another poster mentioned learning to live 'frugally'. Yes, that is it. Create a budget--a realistic one--and stick to it. If the cash isn't there in your hand, then you put that item back until you can afford it.

The really hard part is learning to differentiate between 'Wants' and 'Needs'. And you have children. They have to learn this too from the very start. They may 'Want' chocolate chip waffles, but the reality is they 'Need' a nourishing breakfast, i.e., a bowl of Cheerios and a glass of orange juice.

Good luck!