health is sinking fast

[southernbelle]

All of the previous posts hit it home. Make sure to talk to an attorney (or several) to get a realistic picture of what you should expect and what your exemptions will allow you to keep. Your numbers look good and the credit cards will go away so at the end of the day, you'll end up much better off than you are right now. Don't get discouraged and talk to a professional about your situation. Good luck to you and your family.

[crashzx]

I am almost there. I will be going to an attorny next week. I have come to terms with loosing the bike because it is THE only thing that is paid for. Oh well I can replace it, I am in the buissness. BUT....there is a possibility that I could keep it.

[justplaintired]

You know I just came back to check on this poster and am overwhelmed by how awesome people on this forum are. The words of encouragement are so touching. Good job! No wonder people like me hang around, this forum is almost a life saver during one of the most stressful times in people's lifes.

Now I looked back to see if I could see what state you are in and couldn't find it. But if you do some research by your state bankruptcy exemptions you can answer some of your questions about what you have in exemptions. It could be possible with your exemptions your tools and truck and home will be fine.


You will be fine, you aren't feeling anything most of us have't felt before. But believe me, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I am almost there. The relief I feel being down to my last week before discharge is almost unexplainable, only a fellow BK'er can understand. It is like a fresh begining, like being able to breath again, plan again, like we actually have a future, something I couldn't see before because I was scared. Someday you will be where we are, and if you are like me, you won't forget how scary all this is and you won't going down this path again.

And one last thing, thanks for the pug compliment. We are a pug family, we have 3 now. We adore them! Our youngest is plain and simply Fat! Hey hug the pug when you are feeling down, if your's is anything like ours, I am sure you can get a laugh a day out of him/her!

[crashzx]

You know I just came back to check on this poster and am overwhelmed by how awesome people on this forum are. The words of encouragement are so touching. Good job! No wonder people like me hang around, this forum is almost a life saver during one of the most stressful times in people's lifes.

Now I looked back to see if I could see what state you are in and couldn't find it. But if you do some research by your state bankruptcy exemptions you can answer some of your questions about what you have in exemptions. It could be possible with your exemptions your tools and truck and home will be fine.


You will be fine, you aren't feeling anything most of us have't felt before. But believe me, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I am almost there. The relief I feel being down to my last week before discharge is almost unexplainable, only a fellow BK'er can understand. It is like a fresh begining, like being able to breath again, plan again, like we actually have a future, something I couldn't see before because I was scared. Someday you will be where we are, and if you are like me, you won't forget how scary all this is and you won't going down this path again.

And one last thing, thanks for the pug compliment. We are a pug family, we have 3 now. We adore them! Our youngest is plain and simply Fat! Hey hug the pug when you are feeling down, if your's is anything like ours, I am sure you can get a laugh a day out of him/her!

Amen....God bless all of you!!! He and my family and alot of my freind are helping me through this (those of you here also). For that I am so greatful!!!

[momisery]

I am still in the depressed stages. I have never been late, always watched what I spend. I got married about 10 years ago to my high school sweetie, and he has been BK before. We do fight is there was never a light he would not leave on. And he loves to buy stuff. Mostly though he got good jobs, he just never could keep them. But the car business is a revolving door. Trouble was he was laid off so much and when things were good he spent more. We did move a lot to get him a better job too. But the thing that ruined us was moving from GA. We did it because of a violent neighborhood problem, but the house would not sell. We had it rented and thought it would be okay. I kept telling him a smaller area would be hard for jobs, and it took me forever to find one that paid well. He never really found one that lasted. By then the car business was dying, and he was laid off over and over. Part of it is his age I am sure too. Then the troubles went really deep when WF would not really do a short sale even though they said they would. Then, we lost our tennant. He still is drawing unemployment too while he works for total commission. So, the problems were bad timing, believing the jobs will always be easy to get and he would get a great one soon, and letting him continue to do commission only jobs. However, I doubt that a crummy paying job would have saved us if he worked hourly either. The medical bills were the last kick over the cliff.

I have learned to live low again... but I feel a bit of anger with him because he isn't as frugal as I am. I guess he will learn or we will not make it. At almost 60, there isn't really a future for us becuase by the time the BK passes we will be about ready to hang it all up I would guess.. lol It makes me angry, I felt I worked two jobs so much of my life to get ahead, and then age came a long and made jobs hard to get, then being misled into a horrible neighborhood when we knew nothing about the state, and then the slow down. If we could be doing what we were doing we would have paid if all off in a couple years and been just fine. Oh, well... that was the thinking. So much for thinking.. lol

[crashzx]

Well....had a bad night last night. Found out my wife is hocked to the hilt in payday loans, all utilities are 2 months past due, water got turned off yesterday, tv is next and after that the land line. Cell phone are allready off. We have no groceries. I feal so betrayed trusting her with all the finances. I am so numb this morning to just about everything except fealing like such a failure as a father and husband, but I am trying not to crack. I am having more and more thoughts of suicide, neglect and btrayal and I am just so drained. God help us please!!!!

[killinstinct]

Well....had a bad night last night. Found out my wife is hocked to the hilt in payday loans, all utilities are 2 months past due, water got turned off yesterday, tv is next and after that the land line. Cell phone are allready off. We have no groceries. I feal so betrayed trusting her with all the finances. I am so numb this morning to just about everything except fealing like such a failure as a father and husband, but I am trying not to crack. I am having more and more thoughts of suicide, neglect and btrayal and I am just so drained. God help us please!!!!

You guys are NOT paying CC's right? (I hope not).

You may have to miss a mortgage payment or two to catch up. This is no way to live. You need food, water, phone.

[MSbklawyer]

Momisery, don't despair so. You would be surprised what you can do to make money. I have seen people in large cities who have set up lunch wagon's beside large construction sites and served hot meals to construction workers and made more money at that than they ever did working for a huge company. Likewise with daycare centers people opened on their own. 60 is the new 50. A nursing degree can be had in two years. Everyone is screaming for nurses. Likewise with teaching.

[lookingforward]

Well....had a bad night last night. Found out my wife is hocked to the hilt in payday loans, all utilities are 2 months past due, water got turned off yesterday, tv is next and after that the land line. Cell phone are allready off. We have no groceries. I feal so betrayed trusting her with all the finances. I am so numb this morning to just about everything except fealing like such a failure as a father and husband, but I am trying not to crack. I am having more and more thoughts of suicide, neglect and btrayal and I am just so drained. God help us please!!!!

Crash, please don't despair. Please don't talk about suicide. Unless your wife was using the money for something inappropriate, please be patient. I don't know your circumstances, but maybe she was just doing what she had to do? You are not a failure!!!!!!!!! I am truly worried about you. You mention God and prayer in several of your posts, maybe you could talk to your pastor? I will include you in my prayers also. Please, please, please, don't talk about suicide. Your kids need you. PM me if you need someone to talk to. A teenager that my son knows attempted suicide last week because his father was dead. Don't think they will be better off without you, they won't. You are on the right track financially by trying to get yourself a fresh start. Unless I'm completely mistaken, the payday loans can be included in your BK. Hang in there!!!!!

[momisery]

I do appreciate the support, but I wil lbe 60 in 6 months, so going back to school is a bit of a pipe dream. I work full time and hubby works for straight commission so I NEED to work full time in banking. He hates school, and is scrambling to find out what to do for income. At 60 he is not a picture of health he has emphysema and his joints hurt all the time. He normally gets 4-6 hours of sleep a night because he can not get comfortable. Now what comes to mind I would guess is an out of shape old man.. but he really is maybe 20 pounds over what he should be. Being older and being faced with this is much scarier .. wish I was younger.. but I will have to learn to deal with it.

[killinstinct]

Momisery, don't despair so. You would be surprised what you can do to make money. I have seen people in large cities who have set up lunch wagon's beside large construction sites and served hot meals to construction workers and made more money at that than they ever did working for a huge company. Likewise with daycare centers people opened on their own. 60 is the new 50. A nursing degree can be had in two years. Everyone is screaming for nurses. Likewise with teaching.

GREAT ADVICE!!!

Just stay away from California....especially as a teacher! Yikes!!

[killinstinct]

EVERY DEBT YOU OWE is included in BK. You will owe nothing except taxes, criminal restitution/fines, student loans and secured loans (house/car). Payday loans, medical bills, utility bills, CC's all go bye bye....

Get back to us crash! It will be OK, there's hope for your situation!!

[OhioFiler]

Well....had a bad night last night. Found out my wife is hocked to the hilt in payday loans, all utilities are 2 months past due, water got turned off yesterday, tv is next and after that the land line. Cell phone are allready off. We have no groceries. I feal so betrayed trusting her with all the finances. I am so numb this morning to just about everything except fealing like such a failure as a father and husband, but I am trying not to crack. I am having more and more thoughts of suicide, neglect and btrayal and I am just so drained. God help us please!!!!

Suicide is NOT the solution. You need to talk with a mental health professional immediately. You are not a failure. Suicide is failing. Overcoming these obstacles will make you a winner.

You should sell the bike now and use the proceeds for current living expenses. List it on craigslist and sell it this weekend so you can buy food and pay your bills. It doesn't make any sense to let the bike go in the bankruptcy. Sell it now. Get as much as you can but still get rid of it this weekend.

[2manybills]

crashzx: We were able to wildcard both of my husband's motorcycles and all of his tools. He is a motorcycle mechanic and we have a little machine shop in the garage.

Everyone feels like you do at some point, but you are being very brave by admitting what you've done wrong. Don't beat yourself up! You are owning your mistakes, learning (hopefully) and doing whatever you have to do to make your life better. In the end, you will find out what a relief it will be to live without that monkey on your back!

Believe me, when we're dead and gone our headstones would not say . . "Here lies ?. Citibank is grateful she made all of her payments and died from a stroke trying to pay us!"

Take the energy your expending on beating yourself up and use to create a new life plan.

[crashzx]

I am still here. Well physically anyway. I think this whole deal is turning me into a freakin nutball. I am still quite numb from everything that happened last night. I said some things that I am not to proud of and regret. I was even questioning my faith, my marrige, everything, which I know better. I feel like I am going down in flames. I really dont care if I loose the house or motorbike. I have come to terms with those. Everything else whatever. I just think she should have paid the important things first, screw the cc's. If we were in trouble she should have come to me and told me how serious it was. I thought we were just in trouble with the credit accts not the damn utilities too. I had some time before she got home and went through some stuff, found everything and blew! Course I was not happy anyway about the water being shut off to start. I guess she had so many auto paymentd being taken out that we could not pay anything important. When I found out about the motgage being a couple months behind last month I went off and insisted we pay it. Well she did but nothing else.

On a better note I will be taking the finances back with a new acct in my name only. I have intensly prayed and begged for forgivness to God. I will be contacting sombody at church to counsel me/us if she is willing, or look into a small group. Her mother paid the water today., brought us a little food. I sent the kids off to freinds house for the night, which will probably end up for the weekend. I am going to read me "rider" magazine tonight and try and relax. I have developed a tooth ache and a headache and need to bring my bld press down.

I just have to tell myself "I will get through this"....with everybodies help of course. I love life to much to take it away. I love you all for your advise and support. I need to rest....