Root Problem - NO or crappy "career"

[Inthestorm]

What do you do about this when you're 50+? H and I both had the unfortunate circumstance of never really knowing what we wanted to be when we grew up. I got a antiquated secretarial degree, consequently HATED sitting in an office, and now all the youngsters are FAR ahead of me with the computer programs, so I am umemployable in that field. H ended up as a residential subcontractor, doing good until the housing bubble burst. We are still afraid to file because the business might die more dead than it is, and he doesn't believe he has hope of finding any "real job." The money I make from my two part-time jobs might almost fill the bottom of the penny jar. When I hear about after-Bk-success, it's usually because someone has some great job or great business skill. But what if you don't???? You feel lower than a worm's belly! I would ONLY consider re-education if it didn't involve student LOANS, and I still don't think we're "low-income" even though we are astronomical debt!!! Moral support...? It's a curse not knowing your "calling," and I truly don't think everybody has one...?????

[justplaintired]

Hey don't feel bad, lots of us, me included take awhile to find out "calling", I just found mine and I am real close to the 50 mark. I never thought I'd be filing BK at this age, but here I am.

I don't really understand your story, but, don't worry, there is something out there that will fit you and dh. How about some online college courses? I am taking some at a very reputable school and the cost is much cheaper then a brick and mortar college. Perhaps you can get some classes that will help with the degree you already have.

Far as debt goes, well maybe you should find a few attorneys to meet with and get some good advise. Right now may not be the right time, but a good attorney can help you atleast understand the laws and give you a good time frame on filing.

Good luck and don't give up, your calling just hasn't found you yet, mine was right in front of my nose, I just couldn't see for the fog in my head!

[frogger]

Don't be too hard on yourself. I saw something the other day that was talking about how mid to late 40's were when a lot of people bankrupted.

You'll be surprised how cheaply you can live when you don't have all of those monthly debt payments hanging over your head. As to your calling? Perhaps you're too stressed right now to see clearly.

Slow down, take your time, enjoy life, and your calling will come to you.

Good luck!

[Annie4]

Two of my children are enrolled in Penn Foster's online programs. It's only $40 a month, you get a degree and you can go as fast as you want to.

This is not an ad, lol. It's what we really found to work into their busy schedules because I told them they had to stay in some kind of school until at least 22 yrs or I'd cry! lol

They take their proctored exams at the end of each semester at the library for free. Our local library charged, but we go 'down the road' and do it for free.

You still have alot of time ahead of you! My husband is also in his early 50s and we just got a new start. You'll figure it out and your path will be waiting! I wish you the best!

[Inthestorm]

Never heard of Penn Foster. I'll look into it. Still don't know a course of study, though.

[AngelinaCat]

I actually knew what I wanted to be when I grew up--a librarian, historian, archivist, and I trained and got the degree for it. As time passed, and technology developed, I also learned computers, software, and kept up with the development of same until I actually taught Computer Applications in schools and at CompUSA, and other technical schools.

I am still studying and learning, including ArcGIS Mapping software, and GUESS WHAT? It means NOTHING. I have a PT job at a community college--have had it since 2002. A FT job came open last year and I felt more than qualified, so I applied. I NEVER had the courtesy of an interview, though I know I was on the short list of candidates.

I am 56 years old, and a 30 year old neophite was hired in my place. I can only conclude that because of my age, the Powers That Be do not wish to (1) pay me the salary that my years and experience warrant--though I have said I am willng to work dirt cheap, or (2) do not want to hire me as they *think* I may want to retire in five to ten years--although I have said that I will work and stay forever.

So there I am. If the college did not like me they would have gotten rid of me long ago, but I am still working for them. It galls me that I have to take 'training courses' administered by people with half my experience, but I have to smile and shut my mouth and otherwise *suck up*. I cannot possibly afford to lose this PT job. There is nowhere else to go in this community for jobs. As 'Hub said in another post on another thread, we live in a "mill town" community. If that mill closes, this community and county is toast.

[AngelinaCatHub]

OK, got to follow up on this one. My dream job was my career job. The National Cash Register Company. From the age of 18 and 34 years in mechanical, electro mechanical, mainframes, electronics, logic circuitry, micros, and then middle management and big bucks. Then on a Tuesday morning, after my beloved company, NCR corp. was taken over by AT&T, and destroyed, this little twit about 28 yr old teeniebopper head of an AT&T branch closed our whole building. 34 years and the boot.

Hey, Life is not fair, that is a fact. I went on learned to teach at CompUSA, did contract jobs, worked for myself as a consultant, and was never happier.

After bk and many things out of my control caused bk (suits and health) we are happier than we ever were. We learned to change our extravagant life style and learned self sufficiency.

Case in point, hurricane killed power for three weeks. FPL came by to say it will be up soon. I begged them to make us last as I got used to reading books by kerosene lamps, and going to bed early, and making do with what we had or could get. Learned fishing real good.

Life style changes are radical. But if you roll with the flow, you can make it fun. 'Hub

[AngelinaCatHub]

Also, to help the OP a bit more, there is Unemployment Compensation, PELL grants for school upgrades.

What is it you like to do as a hobby? I considered my job previously mentioned, my hobby. Have you considered making a business that could coincide with your interests? I once sold a piece of junk I was going to throw away on eBay. It was a ball joint for a 39 Ford. Who would want that? I put it up for $26. I got $140 for what I was going to throw away. Try to learn eBay and look for junk. I sold a package of pencils with one missing. Yes they were old, I put it up for $2. I got $10 from "pencilman" on eBay.

You have to look at all possibilities. It is a known fact that every life change usually betters the person. For every door shut, another opens. Just seeing it is the problem. Relax and think of what you really want to do. My Mother after her divorce, became a nurse. She loved it. She was 40 at that time.

Love in God to you folks. You will do fine. 'Hub

[Inthestorm]

I started doing the EBay thing a few years ago. It was going well. I had a great system; was even going to thrift stores and garage sales to buy stuff to resell. I kept a log on how much profit I made over what I spent for these things. Then...they just stopped buying. I got tired re-listing and paying fees for no sales. Recently I decided to try again with the stuff I had left over (although I gave up and donated a lot of it)...and it's picked up. I now have a whole $200 in my PayPal account! Of course, this wouldn't pay a mortgage, but at least it's a little pocket change.

Actually...and I'm embarrassed to say this, (because for most people with the same aspiration, it's about fame and fortune.) I actually do know my "real" dream. I discovered a passionate love of drama in high school. But I didn't pack up and go to Hollywood to be discovered. Actually anything in film, even costume, makeup, set design would be a thrill. But I don't consider this within my reach. In fact, I try not to think about it, or I get emotional. Too much regret. Be honest, at this age, it just ain't gonna happen. Yea, there's community theatre to scratch the itch, but that won't do. I need $$$. Gotta find something else...but truly, I will NEVER be happy sitting in an office.

[needeed]

Mid-life career changes are not unusual at all. When I was in the nursing program, we had several older students, including a ex- marketing VP in his 50s. Medical careers are a good choice, if you have any interest. Community colleges with 3 year programs would be the fastest path. IT is also a good career choice. Do some research on job prospects in various fields that interest you. Many states have waived tuition for unemployed at states community colleges. Do some homework, get a plan, and stick with it. Stay positive.

Age discrimination is illegal, although we all know it happens, not much you can do about it, try to stay in shape, take care of yourself, and hope for the best.

[MSbklawyer]

Whatever you do, don't let your desperation cause you to fall for scams like Andy "How In The World Are You Anyway?" Willoughby's Three Step Plan To Untold Riches Without Ever Getting Out of Your Pajamas Working Only 1 Hour A Day From Your Own Bedroom &c, &c. And don't fall for the "YOU'VE WON $100,000!!! All you need to do is mail us a check for $1500 to do the paperwork and then you'll get your check!!!!!".

I don't mean to insult your intelligence, but I see this all the time: otherwise ordinarily intelligent -- but desperate -- people taken in by these scammers.

[Inthestorm]

Not to worry. FAAAR too paranoid for that stuff!!!

[fooked]

personally, I would go back to school... I can say that because that's exactly what I did... two years later I received my degree... so many options opened up to me at that point...

going back to school may open up different possibilities... I've found that through the school, more opportunities were available there than just looking at the newspaper... some companies only recruit that way...

[backtoschool]

personally, I would go back to school... I can say that because that's exactly what I did... two years later I received my degree... so many options opened up to me at that point...

going back to school may open up different possibilities... I've found that through the school, more opportunities were available there than just looking at the newspaper... some companies only recruit that way...

I totally agree. And as my forum nickname suggests, bankruptcies can be about changing all areas of your life, not just finances. I am using my bankruptcy as a change to hit the reset button on my whole life, and that includes going back to school.

[no_it_all]

Frankly, the OP's root problem isn't a "no or crappy career." Those are just symptoms of the real "root problem" which is probably best served by either a shrink, behavior psychologist or motivational speaker. Seriously.

Antiquated skills
Youngsters know much more
I'm unemployable in my field
Afraid to file BK
H has no hope of find "a real job"
Two part time jobs only fill a penny jar (and only the bottom)


See the pattern? I'm thinking first thing I would do is get some antidepressants from my doctor. Next I would look at the laundry list of excuses I just wrote and evaluate them line by line and become proactive and responsible for making changes. You must change the "victim" tape that is playing inside your head. Stop reading this forum and start hanging out with happy, successful people. Get some motivational tapes. Do SOMETHING POSITIVE! Decide where you are going to be in six, ten, twelve months and work towards it. Good luck !