How do you handle gossip?

[sleeplessindebt]

We filed bankruptcy recently. Because of our financial troubles, we have been gossiped about for the last few years. Now that we have filed, the gossipers are gossiping more than ever. I have been told by someone close to me not to let it bother me because bankruptcies are public record anyway. It's hard not to let it bother me. We are not proud of our financial situation and wish we could keep it private. How do you handle it?

[jennga]

Sleepless, that is a tough one but nothing you can control, unfortunately. It is hard to ignore but if you can tell yourself that if they are talking about you then they are letting some other poor soul rest that has helped me in the past. Also, this too shall pass. Gossipers tend to change thier spotlight to the most exciting issue of the day that they can find, it helps them not think about thier own problems if they can focus on someone else's. Don't know if it helps but really, the ones doing the gossiping are very insecure people who hope they can keep the focus off themselves by smearing someone else. If you can't ignore them then pray for them, they need help more than most.

[MRDEBTSTER]

What most of them may not realize is that they are probably a paycheck or two away from bankruptcy themselves.......or one major event, ie; jobless, medical issue etc.

You should be flattered! Who would have ever thought that you would be important enough to be the center of the attention. It will stop as soon as something else comes along for them to wag their tongues about.

[Genenco]

What most of them may not realize is that they are probably a paycheck or two away from bankruptcy themselves.......or one major event, ie; jobless, medical issue etc.

You should be flattered! Who would have ever thought that you would be important enough to be the center of the attention. It will stop as soon as something else comes along for them to wag their tongues about.

That is so true MRDEBSTER...Reminds me of "The Devil And Daniel Webster" There's a place in the play where people sing:

Gossips got a sharp tooth,
Gossips got a mean tooth.
She's a lucky woman,
They're a lucky pair.
Money, land and riches,
Wonder where they got it,
but that's THEIR business!

Wish people would take that advice

[Minnymouth]

jennga,
You are so right!!!
Forgive your friends and neighbors for "their stupidity".....
Someday they may be in the same situation...

Minny

[caregiver]

Don't worry about it. When the house was listed in the paper as a Foreclosure Property prior to the filing, we had all sorts of trouble with neighbors and unwanted visitors. Now that the 13 is filed, we get comments like, "Oh, I heard you moved, you're still here" and the like. It really shows who your friends are (or not). The vast majority have no idea just how close they are to the same situation.

Our Motto is:
People who know, know better. And the people who don't know, don't matter!

I suggest you keep your head high and keep the motto in mind.

Good Luck

[bkfiler]

the difference between us and them is that we figured out we cant afford to keep paying. and we dicieded to do comething about it.

they are this close ----> ' ' to filing for themselves and they know it. but now they cant, its the new law time. also, now they have to pay double what they had to pay each month before since the credit cards companies are rasining the payment amounts.

when they come to you for BK advice, tell them sorry seek an attorney !

[babycakes]

I handle gossip by being very open. Most everyone knows I filed and will talk to them about it and answer any questions they have. So the more open it is, the less gossip there is. They mostly agree due to my exH, the divorce, medical reasons, etc, that this was best for me and it doesn't have the negative connotations to it. Plus I refuse to hang my head in shame for doing what's right for me and my family.

[bkfiler]

that's right. BK's are not as they used to once be.

no more stigma so forget about it and know that you are on the right track!

[edwards2]

I can relate too. I left a BK paper by the fax machine(at work)a few months ago and my boss put it in an envelope and put it on my desk. I was temporarily mortified... and then I thought for heavens sake it is my personal business. I didnt say anything and neither did he. I suspect one of the sales people saw my BK in the legal newspaper but so what....Initially you are embarrassed but you will get over that I promise. You are taking charge of your financial life...

[SleeplessInMI]

2 years ago my ex sister in law filed for BK. I made fun of her alot and told her she should have been more responsible... I felt like an idiot when I asked her for her BK lawyers phone number a few months ago. What comes around goes around I guess.

[deepindebt]

I think people just gossip about others because they do not have to look at themselves. I have a hard time when people talk about me and why I filed for bk. I just am open with them and I can't help it that I lost two different jobs in the past year, had an oops and spent money to make me feel better. I found out the only person who can make me happy is me!!!
Going bk in a hard pill to swallow but we need to learn from our mistakes and move on with our life. People will always gossip and keep your head up because you made the right choice for your family.

[sunshine08]

First you find out who your enemies are:
Second you find out how good it is to have good friends
Third it makes you look at things differently - you won't be a quick to judge others.
Fourth it makes you realize what the important things in life are
Fifth, you get another chance.
My motto is, "If they are talking about me then they are leaving somebody else alone. I don't mind being the center of attention"
Hell, they are going to talk as long as they have tongues in their mouth, besides you know they need to go home and look in their closets and under the bed and air out the skeletons, 'cause you know they are there."

[nature]

My moma always said keep all your enemies in front of u...when someone did something mean to me all i have ever had to do is just and it always always went back on them.. they would just hang themself

[Genenco]

My motto is, "If they are talking about me then they are leaving somebody else alone. I don't mind being the center of attention"

That's one thing that is occuring in one section of the company...People talk about this one "Individual" who acts a bit odd and such and REFUSES to "Chat" with others unless there's important information to impart.

One person said "Geez, he's such a snob!" I replied. "At least HE's NOT talking about YOU!"