Most Depressing Time In My Life.

[tinfoilhat]

Not easy way out sir!.. There is no guaranteed "Freedom of Request" granted in all forums.... Once you're member, you're In 4 Life!!

Not if I start breaking the rules on a regular basis.

No one likes my opinions anyway, so why stay?

Being that no one likes my opinions several have stopped offering help, so why stay here?

I just read the rules, nowhere does it say to be fake and bs people. I've dealt with drug users.
You want to deal with drug abuse, suffer the consequences or go to a drug support forum.

[redhead]

Not if I start breaking the rules on a regular basis.

No one likes my opinions anyway, so why stay?

Being that no one likes my opinions several have stopped offering help, so why stay here?

I just read the rules, nowhere does it say to be fake and bs people. I've dealt with drug users.
You want to deal with drug abuse, suffer the consequences or go to a drug support forum.

Actually, Boyfriend knows all about the drug problem; I'm sorry to say I'm less ashamed of that than my financial situation.

I guess because they make movies about drug addicts, but I've never seen one about bk. ;)

Anyway, I'm not particularly upset about what you said; you are, as you said, just being honest.

[redhead]

Update.

Boyfriend saw the papers in my purse this morning, but he hasn't mentioned them.

I did get an extra-long and -nice hug, though.

I guess we'll talk about it sometime in the near future. I'm picking up a shift at a bar I used to work at this afternoon.

All in all, it's a nice day.

Thanks for all the kind words, everyone. I'm choosing not respond to any other sort. ;)

[tinfoilhat]

Actually, Boyfriend knows all about the drug problem; I'm sorry to say I'm less ashamed of that than my financial situation.

I guess because they make movies about drug addicts, but I've never seen one about bk. ;)

Anyway, I'm not particularly upset about what you said; you are, as you said, just being honest.

Well thank you.
Just my opinion if you made it through that, you'll make it through this.
And I wouldn't just leave someone because they're in debt (even though I said I would) I think it's more the fact of not being open and talking earlier about something this significant. And still, if he accepted you after the drug abuse theres a pretty good chance he'll stay with you through this.

Relationships are very tough, I can only speak for myself but being open and talking about stuff is important to me.

You have three major issues here (if you were my girlfriend)
Abuse.
Debt.
Letting the relationship grow knowing you may need to drop the bomb later.

Of those three, my biggest problem would be getting the bomb dropped several months/years into it.

Let him know now, you might find everythings ok and you now have a very close person to talk to.

[AngelinaCatHub]

I'm sorry I can't sugar coat posts, I just said how it would go if it were me. It's not me. I have no sympathy for drug users because every single one I've ever known has fallen back.

I have no one to talk to either, but I have no grand story to fall back on. I'm just in debt and getting effed by everyone.

And guess what just for spite, no one will help me here anymore thanks to me speaking my true feelings in this post.

'Hat: There are ways of saying your "feelings" in a less hurtful way. If you are taking the effort to respond, why not take a little effort to boost a person up rather than belittle them. It takes no more effort to do so. Just because you have never seen a recovery does not mean that is the rule. My brother is an ex addict. You name it, he used it. He is clean and sober now. Mrs. and I have helped addicts and even housed them to get them off the sh*t, and we have had an 80% success rate. Not too bad.

As far as you getting "effed" by everyone, I did not "eff" you. I too gave my honest opinion of your course post. If you feel no one likes you here, there may be a reason. Could it be that you get back what you give out? For what other reason would this forum dislike you? We don't even know you.

This is a helping place. You say you have no one to talk to either. I am talking to you right now, and not in anything more than a kind way. I don't wish you to feel as you do, and why are you here? For the same reason the OP is here. That is for advice, and encouragement. Then when you learn a bit, it is your responsibility to pass what you know onto others to give them the same. That is, if you so desire.

Please reconsider withdrawing from this community. No one dislikes you. You are not the first to make a mistake here. You are among friends, don't bankrupt yourself of friends. 'Hub

[AngelinaCatHub]

'Hat: I posted my above post not realizing the thread went to page two. I see a radical and good difference in your postings. I am pleased Redhead is not upset (less than I was it looks like) and hope that she keeps us informed of her progress through the bk.

Your last several posts were succinct but helpful. I commend you and wish to put you on my "friends list" if you accept. 'Hub

[OhioFiler]

I am pleased to read redhead is making great progress with her life.

I'm concerned about hiding such a significant portion of who you are from someone you love. Your lack of trusting him will be a much bigger issue in his mind than your financial problems. Be open and honest and he'll embrace you like never before.

It's not mom's issue. Just because she chose to find clothing in a dumpster and pay her bills doesn't mean you have to as well. I find your approach much more reasonable and logical.

Your desire to treat your debt problems seperate from your addiction and mental health issues is the wrong approach. All three problems worked together to get you where you were. In fact, you only had one problem that manifest itself in different areas of your life. Cleaning up the debt problem is simply the last step in your recovery and your mom, boyfriend and everyone else who knows your story will be very proud of you for handling all of it so well.

I don't know you but I'm proud of you! Imagine how proud your loved ones will be!

[Flowers]

I am wondering why Tinfoil is being so rough on the original posters and debtors in general.

Folks come into debt for a variety of reasons (I will list them again: divorce, medical, job-loss).

Why is he being so abrasive?
Is he very sensitive?
I always thought BK was the fiscally responsible thing to do.

[tinfoilhat]

I am wondering why Tinfoil is being so rough on the original posters and debtors in general.

Folks come into debt for a variety of reasons (I will list them again: divorce, medical, job-loss).

Why is he being so abrasive?
Is he very sensitive?
I always thought BK was the fiscally responsible thing to do.

I'm not that abrasive, I guess it's the way I type or lack of proper words.
I used to spend a lot of my time on an automotive forum helping people, and I got the same judgement on that board too. Just for an example if someone explained in good detail that they blew their engine up, and they want to change the oil to see if that will fix it. I come in and say don't even waste your money doing that, start looking for a new engine and save your money. And somehow thats rude? People discuss spending a large amount of money to solve a problem, it's not going to work, I try like hell to keep these people from wasting their money and you know what, being rude is sometimes the only way to convince someone that their plan isn't going to work. Most people are emotionally neutral and take the advice, and later thank me. Some ignore me and post on the board that their plan didn't work out so well, they just threw a few thousand dollars away and now have no money to do whatever it was right.

Look at all the replies Redhead got, she only responded directly to me. Why is that? I don't know. My intensions are sometimes to get people to open up. I don't know, as far as her situation I would think that if she went through what she went through and her BF accepted that, then BK and debt should be a walk in the park.
My reply was more like a slap in the face, like wake up and tell him. Debt/bk is nothing compared to drug abuse. That person you are seeking to talk to might be right there you need to go to him for help. At least tell him because if he can't handle this now, it's not going to be better in the future when he finds out.

Heres part of my problem. http://www.bkforum.com/showthread.php?t=40713
Honestly I'm not sure whats worse, being a drug addict or watching your father die one day at a time. My father was just in the hospital last week, minor heart attack.

Heres one for you. I was elected caretaker for my father simply because I'm the only family member not working. Because I came back here for my mothers funeral. Now the word is I'm not looking hard enough for a job. My brother said that! How the F... am I supposed to work a job and be a caretaker?!!!
If my dad wasn't here I would have left where I was to come back here and see my mother, and go back and continue to work and pay my debts. But when all the smoke cleared from my mothers problems, there I was, everyone left, I had to make the transition from a construction related career to a home health care worker. Fully resonsible for someone elses life if a problem comes up. I'm not cut out for this, I can't make the decision if he feels sick and wants to sleep it off, or just be safe and call 911. I had to make that decision two months into this, he wanted to sleep. I knew something wasn't right. When that all settled down I was told he would have died if I had not called. They had him in the ER with a machine pumping air into his lungs.
All this is chopping me away, like an axe to a tree, every day chop, chop, pretty soon I'm going to fall I'm sure of it.

I have nothing, I sold most of my stuff to make my move easier and to fund it, just to move back and be stuck here. I like working on cars, thats all I have left.
Then I get a knock on the door, a summons, there going to take whats left of me if they can.
I seriously doubt I can find joy in staring into the dirt but it looks like thats where I'm headed. I don't enjoy my car anymore, I guess because someone might take it.

Every lawyer I talk to is truly a f...ing idiot. Don't know if you seen my post in the chapter 13 section but I paid a guy $1500 and he's going to put me in a chapter 13, no one knows why.
I told him I have no income, and I DO NOT WANT TO MAKE MONTHLY PAYMENTS. The idiot before this lost my file after I retained him for a 7 in six months. Honestly the only sympathy I deserve is ohh sweety you're clearly f...ed good luck, I don't know what to tell you.

And FYI, if you met me in person you'd have no idea the words I typed here came from a quiet helpful real life person (who's getting ready to blow up)

I've got to go now, my dad has a dr appt in an hour and he's *****ing about getting ready NOW.

I don't know what my point is, I didn't re-read this, I know there are no paragraphs, sorry. This is my life, and I don't want sympathy. Call me an ******* if you want to, life couldn't shit on me much more.

[SweetGeorgia]

redhead, you have to talk to your boyfriend about this. What if you get married? He'll see your credit report ONE day. I understand hiding things (really), but this is not a good thing to hide.

Have you talked to an attorney? With so little debt, no assets, and low income - you might not need to file bankruptcy at all.

And PLEASE forgive me for this intrusion, but I'd recommend continuing the therapy and/or medications, if possible. This comes from personal experience; I've never been so stressed out. Addictions are hard to fight under these circumstances. And anyway, a lot of substance abuse is really just self-medication of underlying biochemical problems. There are better ways to treat depression, anxiety, ADD, or whatever.

Good luck to you!