Apology to dingdong & board

[BornAgain]

dingdong,

I've given some thought to how to respond to what you've written HERE. On reflection I understand that the failing is mine. Here's what I've decided to say:

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I thought the way to improve the quality of advice was to criticize.

I'm sorry that I thought the way to have people see that I had a legitimate concern was to use sarcasm and some sort of reverse-logic. (I purposely posted a couple "obviously wrong advice" posts. SL are now discharged because of Obama; and one you missed -- it's not important to be on time to the 341.)

I was being as immature as I felt everyone else was being. Ironic huh?

Anyway, the kind woman with the OTR husband challenged me to be better than I was being. I decided I better grow up in how I was acting.

I am sorry for my behavior. I apologize to you, and the board, and hope you can forgive me.

What I've been doing -- you called it flooding the board with "advice" is a kind of 'making it up'. Having decided that the way to improve the board that I think is so important is to contribute, not criticize. I've posted a bunch of answers to people whom I can help. Technical answers as well as supportive and encouraging answers. They've all been genuine and they've all been accurate.

Oh, and I threw in some humor too: some really old posts, like the guy who wrote, "I need help immediately!!!" in 2004 and nobody answered him. It was subtle humor but if you read the post you'll see it. MichiganMan thought I was trying to boost my post count.

MichiganMan is probably a nice guy, but he's mistaken that I insulted him or his posts. MichiganMan was right on when others with higer post counts were wrong and somehow he got that twisted around and thinks I disparaged him for his low post count and poor advice. He won't hear any different, and he may not forgive me. I can't do anything about that.

Anyway. Your heart may be hardened against me. That's something I can accept. But please don't impugn my efforts to genuinely contribute helpful posts to this valuable board. Read without presupposed condemnation they stand on their own as accurate and helpful.

Fair well, dingdong.

PS. If you are really going to hunt down my every false post, I think there were three. I can remember the two I mentioned but I think there's a third out there. Don't worry though -- I made them so obviously wrong. Beyond those that I made before I "grew up", I am careful to post only stuff I know is right (As I rallied for earlier.)


dingdong, what do you say?

[dingdong]

I hold no grudges and appreciate an apology.

We have to remember,this is a help/support forum, and many people here are going through the most difficult times in their lives. We have to be respectful and thoughtful and considerate of each other, not sabotage the forum with senseless posts and jabs.

If you keep that foremost in your thoughts when you are posting , members will welcome your insight.

I am sure we/most of us appreciate a little humor now and then, but sarcasm is often hard to decipher when it comes from someone you don't know well.



DD

[Mi Bankruptcy]

Admitting your wrong is one of the most grown up or mature things you can do, this includes having the intelligence to even consider and reflect back that "hey, maybe I was wrong" Congratulations and Well Done!

[AngelinaCatHub]

It takes a big person to publicly state an error. Even more, it is a rare person that does this. Speaking for myself, I respect you very much for this effort, and I believe your next posting will be in respect and consideration for the person you address, as we all know, that we have all been scared, worried, frustrated, humiliated until we realized bankruptcy is a business decision and to be taken that way. Some humor is good, I attempt this also, just to lighten things. However, it must be done carefully as to demean someone who is already down, is destructive. No one needs criticism, only advice (as accurate and from the heart as possible).

I applaud you 'BornAgain'. 'Hub

[justbroke]

I think that was the best on-line apology I've ever read.

[LuciluS]

dingdong,

Anyway, the kind woman with the OTR husband challenged me to be better than I was being. I decided I better grow up in how I was acting.

I am sorry for my behavior. I apologize to you, and the board, and hope you can forgive me.

What I've been doing -- you called it flooding the board with "advice" is a kind of 'making it up'. Having decided that the way to improve the board that I think is so important is to contribute, not criticize. I've posted a bunch of answers to people whom I can help. Technical answers as well as supportive and encouraging answers. They've all been genuine and they've all been accurate.

Oh, and I threw in some humor too: some really old posts, like the guy who wrote, "I need help immediately!!!" in 2004 and nobody answered him. It was subtle humor but if you read the post you'll see it. MichiganMan thought I was trying to boost my post count.

MichiganMan is probably a nice guy, but he's mistaken that I insulted him or his posts. MichiganMan was right on when others with higer post counts were wrong and somehow he got that twisted around and thinks I disparaged him for his low post count and poor advice. He won't hear any different, and he may not forgive me. I can't do anything about that.

Anyway. Your heart may be hardened against me. That's something I can accept. But please don't impugn my efforts to genuinely contribute helpful posts to this valuable board. Read without presupposed condemnation they stand on their own as accurate and helpful.

Fair well, dingdong.

PS. If you are really going to hunt down my every false post, I think there were three. I can remember the two I mentioned but I think there's a third out there. Don't worry though -- I made them so obviously wrong. Beyond those that I made before I "grew up", I am careful to post only stuff I know is right (As I rallied for earlier.)


dingdong, what do you say?

BornAgain, that was Me and I am Very Proud of You for making you Apology Known. Takes a Kind-hearted person to do so.

I am disabled and take Morphine 3 x a day. It took me over an hour to write that post. I'm not trying to push religion here, but BornAgain, I have prayed for you everyday single day and night. It tickles my heart to know my Prayers worked.

Good Man!

Hugs,

Luci

[dingdong]

Isn't is amazing how a few kind words or kind acts can really change things?

One minute you can view someone in a disfavorable light and then with a simple kind gesture, which really doesn't take much effort in the grand scheme of things, any past "wrongs" or judgement can be wiped away in seconds with one simple kind act.

It is much more easy to be kind, much less stressfull to let go of a grudge or forgive someone who asks for it or deserves it, or even if they don't deserve it, forgiveness just sets your heart and mind free of any wasteful energy directed towards any type of "wrong" you have felt you've endured.

BA may have done something he/she regretted, as we all have done, I am guilty of it too, but he/she showed their true colors and found the real BA inside when they posted the above message.


Kind words and forgiveness can be a magic eraser in life to any regretful actions we may take. We just have to embrace them when they are offered.

Everybody makes mistakes, it takes integrity to own up to them.

[Gerry]

Everybody makes mistakes, it takes integrity to own up to them.

Amen!

[HRx]

Good to see that the two of you were able to work matters out yourselves.

[dingdong]

I actually really wasn't offended that much at all, but thought it was a nice gesture for Bornagain to aplogize.

Being nice, is well, nice.

I am the sole liberal in a very conservative family. I am used to having my opinions slammed

This was nothin'!

[2xBK]

That was great BornAgain. I had read some of those posts in question and was thinking at the time that I would just skip your threads in the future, but I know it took a lot of courage and personable responsibility to admit some posts were not in the best interests of everyone and I do applaud what you have done here. That was a heartwarming post and I look forward to future posts giving everyone a helping hand when they're down. It means a lot to those who need it.

[queenfluff]

That was a very nice apology, BornAgain. Although I am on the newish side and haven't noticed anything about your threads (or really anyother threads for that matter - at least not yet) - but I try not to read too much into internet posts anymore. I admit it is really tough to tell on these online forums what sort of "tone" the poster might be actually having when they post their posts. Very easy to misinterept online and get into tifts.

We need more emoticons on here. I have been on other forums where you have ones for sarcasm, hugs, super mad etc. We have some goods one here but I was surprised how small the selection is.

I find those emoticons really helpful when detecting the mood or post "intention" of the poster which is great because it is super easy to misread the intention of post online.

I am a pretty sarcastic person and like to joke in a dry way. I try to pick the appropriate emoticon to so people read this in my posts but everyone can read a post different - can depend on your mood on that day too - how you will read something.

I know some people on other forums used to say they posted to up their post numbers - I had forgotten all about that! Geez, I just looked at mine and I didn't even realize I had that many posts so far! Boy, I talk too much! Oh well that is what this place is for right?

[frogger]

Very good apology and I'm sure that is appreciated by all.

I know that for myself, I've kicked myself hard enough in the real world, and sure would not need to be kicked here. This is a place where I've found answers and learned that bk is not the end of the world.

I know that I've failed financially and don't need for others to remind me of such.