I feel like I'm having a breakdown....HELP!

[tatt2monster]

Thanks a million everybody, you are all good people.

Rockyroad-I STILL got the eye twitch.

Lucilus-your in my prayers.

Frogger-believe me, if I could afford a doctor, I'd be begging for a bottle of Valium, in the "convenient economy size".

Justpoor-so many employers check finances before hiring, so I've thought about the this possibility but i'm out of option, i will have to hope for an understanding employer.

Carrie-please do let me know how it goes. Are you going to downtown Seattle?

findingPeace-i know that a lot of the posts make me laugh. and most ARE informative and give me peace of mind.

In the end, I'm feeling a lot better and that will increase one day at a time. The creditor I left a message with did not call me back today, I did not get threatened by anybody....I MADE IT! The first time is the hardest I guess. I think the hardest part about all this is I'm normally a hard as nails construction worker! I turn 40 in one week, an age when I should have a handle on life.

So pass the cake onto me next! Hold the ice cream.

[Flamingo]

You are experiencing a life event. A life event causes an upheaval in your life (i.e., death, birth, job change, job loss, divorce, etc.). A BK/severe financial issues do in the best of folks who think they can withstand anything. Go see your family doctor; advise him/her you are having bad financial issues at the moment which are causing you anxiety and you feel overwhelmed. A mild antidepressant will get you to the point where you can think it out and not feel overwhelmed about it and yes, as others have stated, it will pass, be done with and over and you will survive it. Here we are 2 1/2 years past discharge of a Chapter 13 and prior to our filing, I was a wreck and I am usually the lighthouse in the storm, as my kids have always told me. Now I look back on all that and what we have learned is that no matter what, we will never allow ourselves to be in that position again.

[mand15]

i understand how you feel, although not quite to that extreme. i just did a short sale (in less than 2 months no less) file a ch 7 and still don't feel relaxed. i think it's because i've been living in the debt hell for the past 2 years it's gonna take a while to sink in, this is my fresh start!

i also suffer from anxiety but unfortunately tend to be an emotional eater. so i'm off to the gym to try to get healthy again.

good luck! it will be calm again.

[queenfluff]

tatt2monster, I can't eat when I am upset or stressed either. I haven't met too many other people like me either who do that. Nice to know I am not the only one. I just sit there and seeth for the most part. Most people pig out when they are upset. I worry about eating my food sometimes too because the fact that I have go out and spend more money and I don't have much left. But I am kind of a foodie and this is my one last thing I can enjoy and I refuse to let "them" take that from me.

I am at the point where I honestly don't care about what they might to do me. F** 'em. What the worse they can do really? Dismiss my case right?

If the nasty 341 people want to yell at me, go ahead and let them. I mean, what the else can they do to me to make me feel worse than I already didn't do. I have already taken care of that myself. If they really do yell at me, I figure they are probably a miserable person anyhow because this isn't about them scolding me like my dad or something (which btw the way I can't handle which I can't hardly even talk to my parents during this whole thing because they make me feel worse than anybody can). This is a legal matter. It is all procedure.

If they reem me on any of my purchases in the past, I just plan to say that I wasn't planning to file BK at that time because I thought I was going to get a certain job - which honestly is true. The only thing I can think of them making a stink about is a vet bill for $200 but sorry my kitty was sick and I care a hell of alot more about my kitty than I do about Chase or Citibank.

This is going to sound bad but doing things like swearing on the Bible and stuff doesn't really apply to me. I don't believe in God and I don't believe in all that stuff. Not that I don't have any morals because I am not going to lie because I haven't honestly done anything like try to be sneaky with my money or cc purchases but if I have to bend my explaining around a bit so I don't get riff from them than so be it. I know I haven't done anything to be called fraud. As long as I know this that is all I need. I was an honest person who tried like hell not to have to do this but you can only control yourself and other people will mess up your situation and sometimes there isn't a damn thing you can do about it.

I am sure they might try to get whatever they can out of me - but I really have nothing left to give them. I mean, doing this whole thing has already made me feel like a big fat loser anyhow so they can't take anything else because there is nothing left to take.

If they want to blame someone for why I can't pay anymore, blame Citibank who hiked up my rates for no reason, blame the economy of why a qualified person like me can't even get a job. I am sorry but it is only partially my fault as I am a victim of other circumstances that were beyond my control and not my fault so there is NO way you Mr. Trustee is going to make me feel like it is all my fault. Because i know it isn't. So there.

I turn 40 in a few months too and my life is the COMPLETE opposite of what I dreamed it would be at 40. I think about this more than I should I know but I am more disappointed in myself for that than doing BK.