I feel like I'm having a breakdown....HELP!

[tatt2monster]

When will the rollercoaster come to a stop? After retaining an attorney yesterday I thought I would gain a sense of calm, but it is not happening. Every possible "what if" scenario is playing over and over again in my head. My shoulders and back ache, I'm on Day 2 of a migraine, I find myself tearing up over the slightest things (I know its my bodies way of ridding itself of the stress). I've got no appetite. Is this normal? Jessegirl mentioned an eye twitch at a deposition, I had that just from meeting with my attorney. I feel like I'm in an alternate reality, this has got to be happening to someone else! I sit here in disbelief that I'm batting around words like lawsuit, attorney, judge, courtroom, etc.

Some of the what ifs:

-what if my creditors harass me even after I give them my attorney's name and number? will they make threats?

-what if my throat goes dry at the 341 and i can't even talk (its happened in job interviews)?

-what if the trustee at the 341 yells at me? i have never had so much as a traffic ticket in my life, so all i know about courtrooms is what i see on judge judy and if you ask me, people have to be out of their minds to subject themselves to a tongue lashing from her!

-what if the trustee looks at my bank statements and asks why i bought a new pair of pants or went out of town rather than give the money to a creditor? (I did these things with my own money; my cc's have been closed for months). Do I need to prepare elaborate charts and spreadsheets in case I'm asked to account for what might be deemed irresponsible spending?

-what if any other creditors are trying to sue without my knowing it? my attorney didn't instruct me to inform them of my filing unless they call me, but i still wonder if I should inform them anyway? i want to file asap but need time to get paperwork together (i'm missing a few bank statements); i also have to take the two counseling seminars and understandably, my folks need time to get the money together for the attorney, they agreed to pay for most of it.

And on and on.....clink clink clink clink, I'm strapping myself in, the rollercoaster is on its way up the steep incline once again.

[eddiep]

I think you are looking at this all wrong. Bk is for your protection.

[rockyroad]

OMG...Just recently I've started having a severe eye twitch. It's so bad that I cannot even look someone in the eye when I speak to them.
Is this due to stress????

By the way, your fears are natural, however, I know I felt much better and much more knowledgable after reading this forum for awhile.
But I still have that eye twitch!!

[LuciluS]

When will the rollercoaster come to a stop? After retaining an attorney yesterday I thought I would gain a sense of calm, but it is not happening. Every possible "what if" scenario is playing over and over again in my head. My shoulders and back ache, I'm on Day 2 of a migraine, I find myself tearing up over the slightest things-I know its my bodies way of ridding itself of the stress. I've got no appetite. Is this normal? Jessegirl mentioned an eye twitch at her deposition, I had that just from meeting with my attorney. I feel like I'm in an alternate reality, this has got to be happening to someone else! I sit here in disbelief that I'm batting around words like lawsuit, attorney, judge, courtroom, etc.

Some of the what ifs:

-what if my creditors harass me even after I give them my attorney's name and number? Just give them Attorney's name, address & phone Numberwill they make threats?[COLOR="red"]again, don't let them, just hang up one them.[COLOR="red"]

-what if the trustee at the 341 yells at me?Trustee's must be Professional, so don't stress over it. I've never been in a courtroom or judge's chamber in my life. i have never had so much as a traffic ticket in my life, so all i know about courtrooms is what i see on judge judy and if you ask me, people have to be out of their minds to subject themselves to a tongue lashing from her!

-will the trustee look at my bank statements and ask why i bought a new pair of pants or went out of town rather than give the money to a creditor? (I did these things with my own money; my cc's have been closed for months). Do I need to prepare elaborate charts and spreadsheets in case I'm asked to account for what might be deemed irresponsible spending?NO! As long as you are below or at your State's allowing expenses, he/she doesn't care. Trustee is looking for Assets. I'm providing a monthly spreadsheet with receipts attached & with hubby being a Truck Driver, there are lots of little receipts. Hoping Trustee will be overwhelmed with all the paperwork and just skim thru some of the items.

-are any other creditors trying to sue without my knowing it?No, you should receive something from the CC or CA certified. If you do, your Attorney, should be able to file a response to delay your Bankruptcy, if need be. my attorney didn't instruct me to inform them of my filing unless they call me, but i still wonder if I should inform them anyway?No! Let them call you & give them the information to the Once. If same one calls back, don't answer it.

And on and on.....clink clink clink clink, I'm strapping myself in, the rollercoaster is on its way up the steep incline once again.Oh Lordie, I'm Petrified of Rollercoasters LOL!

I've been there in later part of Sept. 2008 when I faxed paperwork to CCS a credit counseling agency & was told hubby & I needed to see a Bankruptcy Attorney.

I did a simple Excel Spreadsheet and we met with the Attorney 3 days later. He was very nice and scanned over the document and said Yes, he will file a Chapter 7 & stop paying all credit cards immediately except for one card I had made a balance transfer on & he said make payments, plus a little bit more for 3 months & stop. He said refer all credit card calls to him.

I left there and cried for days. Hubby happened to find this forum while home one weekend. Finding this forum as a 'Life Saver' for us as I had a 10 yr. payout on a QDRO (1/2 of ex-husband 401k) & it was taxable income & would hav thrown us into a 13 if we would have filed in Dec. 08, like attorney wanted us to or he said Feb. 09 to file.

My last QDRO check was Feb.2009. So we will be filing 9/30/09 using Mar-Aug income. Hubby hasn't received a paycheck in 4 weeks as he was a very sick man & was hospitalized for a week in the hospital with all kinds of complications.

In feb. 2009, I found out I had skin cancer. So had surgery in March also had some female problems in Feb/Mar.

I'm telling you this so you wan't just RUSH to file, because there is no need to until a Creditor sends you a Certified Notice of a hearing.

Phone calls from Creditors? Don't give them any info except Attorney's name, address & phone #. If they ask if you are filing Bankruptcy, just tell them your Attorney is handling all your financial problems. Make a note of those who call. Once all your creditors have called, Quit Answering The Phone.

I've received 2 form letters from 2 different CC's and 1 from an Attorney's office way up North. The Attorney said, don't worry about those letters. Just put them in with your bank statements. If we get a certified letter threatening to sue us, he will file something in Court to hold off any payment until we file in 9/09.

I've spent hours and hours on this Forum, Ebay, Craigslist & just googling 'our stuff' to be educated and document my Asset list.

Try to quit 'Stressing' over your Bankruptcy as you've got a ways to go and Stress will break you down not only mentally, but physically. I should know, as I was rear-ended in 3/05 & am 100% disabled. July 05, I had very serious thoughts of Suicide and once you get there (that deep black hole), it's harder to climb out of that hole than it was to get in it.

Our Silver Lining:

(1) I decided to take our time & Me be fully prepared for anything that might arise during our bankruptcy (hubby is an OTR Truck Driver & normally gone Sun-Fri), so it's up to me to do the paperwork which I started in Oct. and work a little bit on it each day, if I'm able to.

(2) We would never had been able to pay over $4,000 worth of dental work in Dec-Mar. on me, paid for my skin cancer surgery, female surgery & can use the rest of our tax refund to pay $3,000 for hubby's hospitalization (deductible & out of pocket expense for his insurance) as we may need to use that hospital (closest to us 15 miles from where we live) IF we had already filed. We would have been SOL.

We also pay out over $500 in prescriptions a month for our illnesses. I'm 55 yrs. old and hubby will be 53 Friday.

Don't have that much equity in our home or Assets, so will be able to exempt our 2009 Tax Refund.

I lost a lot of family members in the last 18 mths (almost lost my husband on 4/7/09). I've come to the point where I've taken the Gurus and Moderators advise: Bankruptcy is a Business Decision. So while I work on our Bankruptcy, I'm considering it my 'Job' and when I'm done for the day, My "Job" is done also.

Your Health, Your Family and their Health is Top Priority along with making sure You and Your Family are being provided for (i.e., food, health, etc). To Us, our Second Priority is God who has performed some miracles for both of us and our Church Family. Well, guess I maybe say the 2 Priorities go hand in hand

Third Priority, is my husband's Job, which I do wonder in the back of my mind how much longer he will be able to drive a truck because of all of his medical maladies. BUT, I'm not going to worry about it as I don't want back into that deep hole again.

You are Not Alone and I'm so glad we are able to Vent our Frustrations while making the decision to file Bankruptcy, questions to ask and be answered and sometimes, just joke around with each other on this Wonderful Forum.

Yes, Life will be tough for a couple of years, but now our goal is to 'Go For The Gold' and be Rid of those Dang Credit Cards as our Silver Lining was taken care of by delaying our Bankruptcy.

As I've heard this saying so many times 'Don't Sweat The Small Stuff', I think of that when the phone rings and Caller Id shows it's a number I don't recognize, SO I don't answer it. Not one Creditor has left a message on our answering machine.

Most of our CCs haven't been paid since 9/08 & we're still here without any lawsuits. There are so Many Bankruptcies & Foreclosures in over 75- 80 yrs. CCs don't have the manpower, time and money to file Court Proceedings on those Debtors they know will eventually file for Bankruptcy because they know they will lose.

I'm thinking maybe I've given you Empathy and Hope as when it's all over with, you will still have your Life, your Family, Our Lord and Savior.

Hugs,

Luci

[frogger]

If your nerves are that bad, to do the doctor and get you a script for some 5mg valium. You won't notice that you have ever taken it, nor will anyone else. It will however - calm those nerves!

[knotholeone]

You will be fine. You are not alone!!!

[relief13035]

No breakdowns are allowed on this forum...LOL We are here to help you.

BK - this too shall pass

[momxx5]

Oh bless your heart, I think most of us have been in the same position as you.

First of all, remember we are all here with a common theme - BK. We are hear to help answer questions or just to help calm some nerves.

We realized early in the year that BK was going to be a decision we faced, and turns out to be our only option.
Of course filing CH 7 would be optimum because it is done & over with in a shorter time. Well that was not in the cards for us.

So, after stepping back and realizing there is no hurry for this to be over with, why rush to file to be placed in a budget and worry about paybacks?
I am now feeling some piece of mind knowing what we are doing it legal and the best decision we can make for our family.

DH lost his job a few weeks back. One saving grace was that we had already retained an atty and thus that emotional rollercoaster was on its way down while the rollercoaster of no job started.

Take a few days to get yourself together.
Then, answer all the calls telling them that you will be filing BK. Give atty name and number.
I can tell you out of all the calls, 95% of the callers where totally understanding, very kind, and some offered to include us in their prayers.

All cc companies and collection agy are getting the same info from thousands of other people. This is what is become our the economic times.

Lots of luck.
Prayers for you and your family.

[Justpoor]

I wish my apetite was lost. Quite the opposite! Chocolate cake? Sure! Ice cream sundae? Sure! Cookies? You bet! I think I've gained 50 pounds in two weeks! And every night I wake up at 3 am and stare at the ceiling thinking of what ifs. Ugh! I just want to dump everything and run away!

The worst- what if I lose my job because of filing bankruptcy and then am jobless AND homeless?

[CarrieOakey]

My trustee meeting will be held before you actually file - I'll let you know how it goes, k? We're in the same boat, and in the same locale

[Recessionist]

We have been whipped into a frenzy of shame and guilt around our financial situation. We have a lot of negative messages in the world to support our sense of shame and fear, and a ton of mythology, lies, and false information too.

All of us can tell you "relax" and "don't worry". If you're like me, that doesn't help. What DOES help for me is gathering information and preparing myself so I can feel more in control and less helpless. One thing I have learned is that the process is emotional for us, but for the clerks and attorneys, trustees and staff - this is a business transaction. None of them has any emotional investment in you as an individual, and making you feel bad is not going to cause you to have more assets. They aren't judging you - they are judging the financial situation at hand.

Do things every day that are conducive to your well-being, and think on those things when you are feeling the grip of panic.

[jb300]

Yup, I feel the same way.. I never dreamed in a millon years I would be here but I am and I am going to be stressed until I get through this. I am so thankful I have found this forum.

[dogbone33]

I was so sick to my stomach also when we finally decided to talk to a lawyer. It will be fine! Better than fine! We were never asked what we spent money on. I was sort of yelled at at the 341 but the trustee was trying to be intimidating but I wasn't lying and I got to clear things up. It will be the best thing you can do if you are in the situation as we were. Living paycheck to paycheck not being able to buy food for our kids. You will have so much stress off of your shoulders, you will be amazed! The only thing we are nervous about is getting a vehicle, but I am thinking we may not have any issues. Good luck, take a deep breath and relax!

[findingPeace]

We are just starting too.. We have an appointment May 15th..I felt just like you did ..We have 2 cc maxed out..one we are still having to use just for groceries & some gas.
This will be the first month we cant pay those cc payments...we have just been robbing on to pay another. We had to put 3 airline tickets on my checking over draft 4/14 for the end of May to go see my son graduate Basic Training. I couldn't make the drive due to health, and we are still paying on the Over draft..We have just stopped now stopped using our cards, except the one and yes I worry too bout what they will think.

Will they see we bought tickets for his graduation?? will they see I took my daughter to McDonalds for lunch, In between Dr appointments on the CC??

I think we are going through is normal feelings, after reading everyones post on here. But honestly! now that I have found the group, seen other peoples relief Im excited to get out of this mess and start fresh.
Used to feel guilty, but not any more. You are not alone...Take a deep breath & realize how many more folks are on here. We are all here for the same reason as you!!

Just be honest with your lawyer looks like the best advice..Im gona tell him. Yes sir! I did put 3 flights on my checking ODP just this month, & I will & have been paying that..I dont want my son to know we are in a financial mess & ..He will never graduate from Basic Training again & once he is stationed I may not see him for a long time if its over seas..so just relax...read the post and enjoy all the little clapping hand ,smiley faces you are gona see where people are happy to be done with the weight round there neck.. Think Positive, ask questions..Know that you are not alone & above all things..I have a question for you Have you had many other stressful times in your like that you worried yourself sick? Did most of them work out? Even if it wasnt your choice of how it ended..You survived & eventually it passed and you were over it? Well this too shall pass & when its over..You can be a light to someone else & share some clapping! We are going through this with you at the same time!

[Justpoor]

Ok pass the chocolate cake. I need a huge piece!