Who Did You Tell?

[BkinTX]

Bankruptcy is both exhilarating and humiliating.

Did you treat it as something hidden and shameful or did you share the news?

[BkinTX]

I would personally be ok with telling most people. I am ready for a fresh start and can stand the scrutiny. DH prefers that we not share the news. Especially with family.

I think that has to do with being the wage-earner and general alpha male (feeling of failure as a provider -- which is not the case).

I have shared with some online friends. Otherwise no one. In order to keep it under wraps I will need to lie about what we did with our SUV, which I am not comfortable with.

I would rather just be honest. We all mess up. I'm happy to learn my lesson young (late 20s/early 30s). Better now than when the kids are getting braces or cars or in college.

[Flamingo]

This subject has been discussed numerous times in the forum and even very recently. Have you done a search on this subject?

[hippyguy]

To be honest, after acceptance of the fact that we screwed up our finances so bad, I quit worrying about people finding out. The scumbag collectors and creditors called everyone in our families and at my work, after we quit answering the phone. I have told all my friends, and to my surprise most of them are on countdown to credit explosion anyway. Times were good, and now they suck, those that would criticize us for our actions today, may be in our situation six months from now.

[Flamingo]

In many areas, you don't have to tell anyone - the newspaper does it for you. Many newspapers list Bk filings (Chapter 7, 13 and 11) each week. Ours comes out in the Business Sectoin every Sunday and it's always right next to the stock report. Names, towns, chapter filed and the amount of the assets and liabilities are listed; no street addresses. Even Google searches can bring it up if your name has appeared in a newspaper publication for filing. It's public information and in this day and age widely available via computer if one has the need to look.

[hamburgervol]

In many areas, you don't have to tell anyone - the newspaper does it for you. Many newspapers list Bk filings (Chapter 7, 13 and 11) each week. Ours comes out in the Business Sectoin every Sunday and it's always right next to the stock report. Names, towns, chapter filed and the amount of the assets and liabilities are listed; no street addresses. Even Google searches can bring it up if your name has appeared in a newspaper publication for filing. It's public information and in this day and age widely available via computer if one has the need to look.

A lot of newspapers have stopped posting BKs. I'm not sure if it is because of the cost involved in a newspaper paying someone to gather the info to be published or just because of the vast amount of BKs now. Many influential people now days are filing for BK and many of those people don't want their BK's published. I know for a fact that my local newspaper as omitted certain news because of who it was.

[BkinTX]

Flamingo, you like busting chops, huh?

My apologies for posting something that's been posted before.

[AngelinaCatHub]

To be honest, after acceptance of the fact that we screwed up our finances so bad, I quit worrying about people finding out. The scumbag collectors and creditors called everyone in our families and at my work, after we quit answering the phone. I have told all my friends, and to my surprise most of them are on countdown to credit explosion anyway. Times were good, and now they suck, those that would criticize us for our actions today, may be in our situation six months from now.

[hippyguy]

To me, it was a liberating feeling not to lie. I’ve been both sides of the fence, a millionaire and not a buck to get a cheap beer.

I am proud of my bk. It was admission of a bad life style late in life. However, we are never too old to learn. It is a new start and yes it is difficult at times when you are used to purchasing anything on a whim and immediately then going all cash because you “ain’t got no money”. But WHAT FREEDOM not to have bills, and I just paid off my 2004 Jetta. Whatever work it needs, one $485 payment can fix anything broken on it. Two payments can change it’s timing belt due in about another 100K miles. I shall drive that free machine till the wheels fall off. If the guy down the street brags about his new car, I just think to myself I have an optional feature he does not: A clear Title. Laugh all the way through your bk, as it is a wonderful trip if you adjust your mind to the fact that you are healing your life. Nothing to be embarrassed about as we are pioneers in the storm of thousands maybe millions more to come. Just my opinion. ‘Hub

Very well put, pioneers, I like the sound of that. And I feel the same, I just paid $600 for a truck that smells a little funny and has "two window A/C" but got me to work with not so much as a hiccup. My car payment was $580/month and my insurance was close to a bill. Who have I been thinking I am for all these years? Nobody on the block cares what I drive, and if they do they can go pound salt. After figuring out how to live on cash for the past five months, I'm starting to realize that I dream at night again. I used to worry constantly, and now I can save some money every check, not much, but enough to feel secure. Don't get me wrong the process is not pleasant but the piece of mind at the end of the tunnel is.

[queenfluff]

I have told my parents of course but I told my mom not to tell any of the relatives because some of the relatives are just kind of judgemental because they are sort of well-off. Esp since I borrowed money from an uncle on that side of the family once and wasn't able to pay it all back when I got laid off (the uncle doesn't care - he said to forget about it and that he doesn't need the money - I did pay most of it off.)

Other than that, my bf and his mom know because I live in their house. I have a blog on my FB page so if my friends on there might read it they know but I don't know if they do because no one has said anything but I don't plan to tell people unless the subject comes up for whatever reason.

I don't know why, as I am not as embarassed by it that much anymore, but I feel like it a private thing for an individual. I guess because I know that some people look down on it because the BK effects other credit card users. I felt a bit guilty about that at the beginning but honestly I have worked hard all of my life and I am sure I have paided in some way to help those in crisis through my tax money or whatever - so I feel like it is OK for to do this. I need to have my problems "absorbed" by someone else right now. And I have and will be "paying my dues" by the limited life I will lead afterwards.

If someone needed like a lawyer referral or advice I would be OK telling them. It is definately invaluable to have someone to talk to about it which is why I like this forum so much.

[mamaluv]

I don't plan on telling anyone...I don't feel it's anyones business but mine. However if someone where to ask me, I wouldn't lie about it.

[CarrieOakey]

I'm sort of with Mamaluv on this one. It's nobody's business but mine - but by the same token, it takes courage to actually face the problem and file, instead of ignoring it/pretending it'll all go away/what have you...and I'm sort of proud of that, you know?

[Flamingo]

Flamingo, you like busting chops, huh?

My apologies for posting something that's been posted before.

Busting chops? The forum rules request every new poster to do a search of the forum before asking specific questions. I am only giving guidance that might help you. I advise many new posters on here that ask a question that is discussed often if they have done a search of the forum before posting a question that may have been asked the day before by someone else. Many people will not respond to a posting/question that is discussed frequently and will refer a poster to past postings or to do a search.