How to deal with it all.................

[Toby629]

We are going to have to file bankruptcy after 2 yrs. of hell on earth. DH lost his job of 19 yr. in August 2007. We are mid-fifties and never thought we would be in this kind of situation at this stage of our lives. DH finding another good job has been a nightmare. He was very aggressive in his job search, was up for 3 good positions, but ultimately he did not get them (he was told it was between him and one other person on all 3.) I think his age hurt him in the end on the positions. We went through all of our resources trying to keep us afloat for 2 yr. and now we have nothing. I realize now we should have filed before, like a year ago. DH has gotten a job, not what he wanted but it will do. His pay is mostly commission based and because of the economy his pay has not been good. We have to wait awhile yet to file to save money to pay the lawyer and also we are behind in our house payments, which we want to keep. So I know we have to get caught up on those. We have stopped paying all non-secured bills (advice gained from this forum.) Now we are really getting bombarded with collection calls which are set to go into voice mail. I have not answered these calls, as I know they just want to try and get money, of which we don't have. Plus I am stressed out as it is without having to deal with these people. But boy, even on the voice mail, they are sounding pretty testy. I worked at home online part-time this past year and the company I worked for closed it's doors, so I have not gotten paid since December. Due to residual effects from a car accident I cannot work a regular job. I am looking for other work online. We just want this nightmare to be over. I thank heaven for finding this forum, it has given us hope that there is life after bankruptcy. Plus invaluable information that is helping us navigate through this. Wish I would have found this forum a year ago, we would have made different decisions than we have.

[LuciluS]

Hi:

Don't let those voice mails get you down. Don't even listen to them...delete them. We quit paying most of our CCs in late Sept. 08 after meeting with a Bankruptcy Attorney. We were able to give him a $300 deposit and he told us to give his name, phone # & address to the callers. Calls stopped, but started back late March 09. I answered 2 of them & was honest. Told them we hadn't filed because I was diagnosed with Skin Cancer (not a lie). They were real nice. But Attorney said don't waste your breathe talking to them.

Received 2 letters from collection agency & one threatening to attach a lien to our house. Attorney said ignore them, until we get something certified from the US Mail, UPS or FedEx. He said he could file something (memory not so good on the specific name) that would stall until we file 9/30/09.

I was hurt in a car accident 3/05 & am disabled. I searched & searched for some type of online work, but most of the work involved being on the telephone. I spent quite a bit of money too....all wasted. Did a few mystery shopping jobs when hubby could drive me, but the paperwork was a nightmare.

Hubby just spent a week in the hospital and will be off at least 2 more weeks without pay. We did get a nice chunk of change back from tax returns as our medical bills & prescriptions are astronomical.

I've spent hours & hours reading the posts & using the 'Search' feature on this wonderful Forum and am so thankful as Attorney hurriedly looked over my Spreadsheet wanting us to file in Dec. 08. Had income that dropped off this Feb. Hubby's first paycheck for the 1st week in March was awful as most of his pay was on the last paycheck in Feb. So we will be way under the Median when we file.

If you haven't made some appts. with any Attorneys' yet, do so with some who have Free Consultations. You will learn some info from those appointments as the Laws are different in each state & what would be an expense item in our District in Arkansas might not be in another District in our State or any State.

I've read some posts where they were not current on their house payment while gathering the paperwork which can be overwhelming, but got current before filing. Others became current before their 341 meeting with the Trustee.

I always close with what several members have stated. Filing bankruptcy is a 'Business Decision' and you must leave your emotions out of it. Got the business decision down pat and almost there on the emotion end of it.

Luci

[AngelinaCatHub]

Toby, it is against the law to age discriminate. LOLOL. Laughing at the law, not you. We are in the same situation. Probably better off than you, because we only lost about ten million dollars of land we wished to donate, then due to an enemy who outspent us in Court, we are now bust. He lost us three jobs by his ‘influence’ and I am not employable, (65 with medical probs) and wife not too far behind. Her unemployment has been advanced three times now. Oh sure we’ll take ‘Bammy’s money. We sure the hell earned it. Cannot go to food stamps due to one single car we own, paid for. What crap.

You are a quintessential “Baby Boomer” couple that you will see much more of. My suggestion is, keep high speed Internet, dump phone, go to MagicJack twenty bucks a year, real cool phone that works well, do Angelfoodministries.com for your food, nothing fancy, but affordable good food, and pray a bunch. Might even go for a PEL grant for schooling, as they do pay a bit for upkeep and transportation as well.

DO NOT depend or get hooked by work from home on your computer scams. These are fake. I am a computer consultant and have dealt with this one many times. You pay, they laugh.

The very best thing you folks have done is file. If you cannot afford a lawyer, purchase the Nolo.com book on Chapter 7 download for half the cost of the book. About seventeen bucks. All forms and all you need to know. Go pro se.

I sure do wish you well. It is a hell-of-a-payback after almost twenty years to a firm. I also know. 34+ and AT&T killed the whole office. ‘Hub

[spearmint]

Against the law to discriminate perhaps - but it happens.

Talking about PEL grants, can you get one while working at a job to pay for the cost of going to school at night - credit hours and books, etc?

[AngelinaCatHub]

Against the law to discriminate perhaps - but it happens.

Talking about PEL grants, can you get one while working at a job to pay for the cost of going to school at night - credit hours and books, etc?

I'm really not sure. I do know if for job loss, or health you can get one. Being employed may be a problem. No harm in asking so Google this. If I find out from Mrs. (she knows everything), I'll post it. 'Hub

[frogger]

I don't know all the answers to bk, but I am a collector. The calls can be stopped......

Collectors have rules that they must follow and if not, are subject to fines. Inform the collectors that you wish for them to cease communications with you. After that, they can contact you one more time to tell you what they are going to do with you.

If they continue to contact, you start filing complaints. You can make a collectors life as miserable as they make yours.

Good luck.

[Toby629]

Thanks for all the good advice here. It's just knowing I can at least communicate with other people that are not judgemental, and that can understand what we are going through. We cannot talk to family about this, they are very judgemental and not real supportive. We have told noone that we will be filing. I have done the means test online, and we qualify for Chapter 7 at least. I will have to get going on seeing some attorneys to find a good one. Yes, we are baby boomers gone bust. We have really cut expenses as much as we can, especially with food. I have heard of that phone jack, how do you get a phone number assigned with it? Thought that had to go through your local telephone company service. I do pray alot, and am thankful for our health and our children.

[Flamingo]

Against the law to discriminate perhaps - but it happens.

Talking about PEL grants, can you get one while working at a job to pay for the cost of going to school at night - credit hours and books, etc?

Our situation closely mirrors the OP's situation except we were current on our house payments and not late with anything until we retained attorney and were advised to stop paying on unsecured and vehicles. We robbed Peter to pay Paul to be able to stay current until that time though and we too should have filed way sooner and not waited a year for hopefully another job to come through for hubby. Anyway, as to the age discrimination thing, it is more common than anyone admits. The majority of the time you are advised after interviews you are "over qualified" if you are looking for a similar position from a job loss. What that basically means is that they can get someone half your age to do the job with training and pay them way less than what they would have to pay you. My hubby could not recover from his job loss due to a merger in 2/01 (the big "tech bust" time) and he was 48 1/2 when that occurred and was earning six figures. He was always overqualified for any other similar position he applied for and would have to relocate overseas to get a job. He worked menial part-time convenience store clerk jobs after his loss while job hunting. He took some part-time work with the State and also did substitute teacher work and anything he could find but he could not get a full time job anywhere. I became the main support (family of 3 at that time; 3 other children already out of house). He finally changed careers, works as a fulltime salesman (hours and commission) but could only get a full time job effective 11/07. His pay is 1/4 of what he used to make per year.

All this makes you readjust your lifestyle and makes you learn that one needs to plan for anything cause nothing is guaranteed in the job world and you have to be ready for anything especially as one gets older. There is discrimination out there as to age and it is well hidden and hard to prove as there are many job applicants to choose from.

The OP will need to file and readjust their lives and make the best of what they can while they recover and either go back to school or work various part time jobs until a full time position appears. Working from home is not the answer as it appears everyone is trying to do that unless you are able to sell on eBay. To the OP - are you on disability from your car accident or received a settlement for your car accident that you are drawing from? Are you eligible to receive disability if you cannot work? That is also something to look into if you are eligible and have not yet done so.

[AngelinaCatHub]

Thanks for all the good advice here. It's just knowing I can at least communicate with other people that are not judgemental, and that can understand what we are going through. We cannot talk to family about this, they are very judgemental and not real supportive. We have told noone that we will be filing. I have done the means test online, and we qualify for Chapter 7 at least. I will have to get going on seeing some attorneys to find a good one. Yes, we are baby boomers gone bust. We have really cut expenses as much as we can, especially with food. I have heard of that phone jack, how do you get a phone number assigned with it? Thought that had to go through your local telephone company service. I do pray alot, and am thankful for our health and our children.

Toby, go to MagicJack.com (this in no way is a commercial, only a helpful recommendation)

[Toby629]

Very insightful reading everyone's experiences and advice. I know DH was age discriminated against, it's so not fair. Dare I say, older people have so much more to offer an employer, they are so blind. His new job should start picking up business-wise which means more money for DH in commissions. I am not able to work at a regular job, I deal with pain everyday, some days are worse than others and some other issues also. I do not take any prescription pain meds, only tylenol. So I am dealing with my post-accident situation as best I can. That being said, I do feel I can contribute to my family's finances by working at home, I have been lucky to have found work online. There are lots of scams out there, but there are legit work opportunities also. Just have to do your DD. The phone jack information I am going to check out, it may just work for us. I got a very small insurance settlement, the person that hit me had the bare mimimum coverage, and my health insurance provider demanded to be reimbursed for all the medical costs for my accident injuries, which was six figures. So after everyone got paid, Insurance provider, lawyers, I got not much at all. I have to look at it that at least I am still here and am functional. I have not checked into disability, I do not even know the requirements they have to be considered as disabled.

[AngelinaCatHub]

Toby629. Try for it for sure. Understand, it is traditional you will be turned down at least three times, then you may get it. Have all your records and get what you do not have. You paid for it all your life. It is called Social Security. If crooked banks can get a piece of 'Bammy's action, you sure are entitled to some that you better deserve. 'Hub