Initially I honestly wanted to pay back every single cent I owe

[cynhgm]

... but the more I deal with banks and debt collectors the less motivation I have after every single call I made to them. Within a matter of only three months the enthusiasm went from "Hey, let's work something out with our creditors to get over this bump!" to "You know what? Screw them all. Time to lawyer up." Why is that? Why do the banks rather force people into BK than finding a way to get at least most of the money back? After dealing with them are there still folks left who really want to work something out with the creditors (assuming there is a good chance that a BK case will go though)? This is maddening and frustrating.

Anyway, I just signed up. You'll hear more from us.

[pcn]

I think it's their standard procedure to call your bluff. Otherwise everyone would call them and ask for better terms even if they cold afford to pay. Once we'd proven we couldn't/wouldn't accept 30% interest by not paying for a couple of months, their attitude changed slightly. They seem to get better as our account looks worse. Still crabby, but the terms they offer get better. It really is too bad that there isn't a method to negotiate before it came to this.

[zpbk13]

I can so relate to this! I tried and tried to work something out with our biggest creditor Amex. I had never EVER been late with a payment in the 8 years I had the accounts. I just needed a little flexibility but they were not willing to assist and jacked up my interest rate to close to 20%. Now that I have not paid the bill in two months, I get a letter stating how they want to work something out with me that involves forgiving the penalties and taking my interest rate back down. No thanks, I have already made up my mind. It is a shame because I really did want to work something out when we first starting sinking but they were unwilling.

[cltmoto]

Amex is the worst...

Surprised they didn't cut you off immediately after missing that first payment!

[hopefulbk]

Same here.. I called them all up and out of my 7 cards, only 2 worked with me at all! The one hardly did a thing but at least they tried and the other company split my min payment in half and had a 0% for a few months. The ones where I had the largest balance laughed in my face so to speak. I gave them a run down of my bills as they requested and told me if I can't help myself, then they can't help me either- got the same song and dance from my mortgage company too.

[Ifonly]

Yup...I've very recently said that now I understand why people are doing things such as stealing the copper pipes and the appliances from their foreclosed homes. They're so angry.

I personally have OCD so I fully intend to clean the house spic and span when we leave (plus you really do need to set an example for your children) but even for us, we had a bathroom 1/2 renovated and I have no intention of finishing. I can return the flooring and lighting fixtures for store credit in case I need something at my rental. Besides whoever ends up with the house might hate my taste and do it over anyway!

But I do understand why people feel angry and desperate. I tried for so long to stop the cc from jacking us up due to "behavioral pricing", etc. My favorite was one card where we went over the limit by $5 (of course they let the charge go thru) and they jacked the rate from 9.99% to 32.99%. I fully admit that I certainly purchased things over the years that I didn't need but that is not the sole cause of why I'm here now.

I guess you get cynical. And having people on the phone talk to you like dirt doesn't help. Do you think I WANTED to lose my job? Maybe I should have known better but 20/20 hindsight is a luxury none of us have. Could'a, would'a, should'a!

[Flowers]

As my non-payment to credit cards moved from May to September '08 with no payment, I started receiving offers. For example, committing to only part of the debt with specific payments. I am not sure why. I probably would have done it, as the title of your thread implies, but did not have the funds to even do those payment debt reductions.

[cynhgm]

Flowers, yes. The longer you don't pay (we actually kept paying a token amount for a while which was probably a mistake) the more "generous" some of the creditors become and forgive some of the debt. But then they want it to be paid as a lump sum or within 4 months or so. Those are still payments we are just not able to make! All we needed was time but that was something none of them wanted to give us.

From what I got out of all the "conversations" I had with debt collectors there seems to be a federal guideline (or law?) that prevents banks to charge less than (total balance) / 60 per month. The payments have to be big enough so that the debt can be paid back within five years. If you lose a big chunk of your household income how is this going to help?

[CatsInTrouble]

Suuuure you want to pay every cent you OWE, but do you reallllllly owe 32% interest on a queen bed that you purchased 1 year ago at 12% interest? Really? Come ON. I don't. I wanted to continue to pay what I AGREED to pay, until I went one month without paying, and suddenly what I "owe" is all changed up. Please.

[spearmint]

I tried to work something out with MY largest creditor, too. They wouldn't work with me and it is driving me to Ch13. They are fiends!

[cynhgm]

Cats: I agree with you to a certain extent. Whatever charges and fees were racked up over the time I was unable to make at least minimum payments, the sometimes 30% APR, late fees, over-limit fees, fees a 3rd party collector tacks on, etc. I am not willing to pay back. The charges that I put on the cards over time before sh!t hit the fan including the interest on them I fully accept because that was the agreement I accepted when I did those charges.