Tough situation re: boyfriend

[wonkettegirl]

I'm fresh out of my chapter 7 - it went very smoothly and easily. Hallelujah. After being together for more than 2 years, I am moving in with my boyfriend. He did a financial rundown, at my request, and discovered that he owes about 52k in credit card debt. Holy crap.

We each make around 70k - he's probably closer to 75k. I qualified for a ch. 7, because I have 2 children and I had a huge mortgage, but there is no way he would qualify for a ch7. Single man, no children.

We are going to keep our finances separate because, frankly, I don't want any kind of responsibility for his - I have enough trouble with my own! I am moving into his home and I will pay him a monthly rent.

I would like to broach the subject of a ch13 bankruptcy, but I don't know how to do this. He ran the numbers on some debt calculator and thinks he can pay this off in 3.5 years. I don't see how that's possible. I don't know how he can keep track of all these payments, esp. since the cc companies keep purposely switching the due dates to catch people "late" and up their interest rates.

I've never been in a ch 13, obviously, and I don't know how tough it would be. But I do know that it would impose discipline on this wonderful but financially undisciplined man, and I think it would help his stress over money, too. He wants to keep his home and we would like to look for a larger home, if we can afford one, in the next 3-5 years, if that's possible.

Should I just keep my mouth shut and mind my own store? Is there a way to gently broach teh subject? What do y'all think?

Frankly, I love the man, but he is lousy with $$.

[deadbroke99]

If your living together than you have every right to discuss that with him. I would have him go set up an appointment with a lawyer just so he can evaluate his options. He may not realize that he can even do a bankruptcy. I had a friend tell me that my dh and I would not qualify for a bankruptcy because we make too much money. She had no idea because she never has had to go thru what we have. That's just my .02 =)

[sweetpotato]

Thanks wonkettegirl. Can you tell us why your boyfriend is in debt? Linging on convenience card debt is a lot like living a lie, trying to live a life we are not capable of. I know, I have been there.

Have you read thread 'what have you learned'? There are some good thoughts about lessons learned AFTER BK that we all should learn BEFORE BK.

I'm fresh out of my chapter 7 - it went very smoothly and easily. Hallelujah. After being together for more than 2 years, I am moving in with my boyfriend. He did a financial rundown, at my request, and discovered that he owes about 52k in credit card debt. Holy crap.

We each make around 70k - he's probably closer to 75k. I qualified for a ch. 7, because I have 2 children and I had a huge mortgage, but there is no way he would qualify for a ch7. Single man, no children.

We are going to keep our finances separate because, frankly, I don't want any kind of responsibility for his - I have enough trouble with my own! I am moving into his home and I will pay him a monthly rent.

I would like to broach the subject of a ch13 bankruptcy, but I don't know how to do this. He ran the numbers on some debt calculator and thinks he can pay this off in 3.5 years. I don't see how that's possible. I don't know how he can keep track of all these payments, esp. since the cc companies keep purposely switching the due dates to catch people "late" and up their interest rates.

I've never been in a ch 13, obviously, and I don't know how tough it would be. But I do know that it would impose discipline on this wonderful but financially undisciplined man, and I think it would help his stress over money, too. He wants to keep his home and we would like to look for a larger home, if we can afford one, in the next 3-5 years, if that's possible.

Should I just keep my mouth shut and mind my own store? Is there a way to gently broach teh subject? What do y'all think?

Frankly, I love the man, but he is lousy with $$.

[wonkettegirl]

Sweetpotato, how about you tell us YOUR story? Cuz I get the feeling you're here to harass and lecture people filing for bk.

[sweetpotato]

Sorry wg, I did not mean to anger you. I just thought you and your boyfriend would benefit from the thread 'what have you learned'.

I have stated that BK is a wonderful piece of law making by our legislatures in order for us to get a 'fresh start'.

There are lots of other posts that are negative towards BK, why did you pick on me?

Sweetpotato, how about you tell us YOUR story? Cuz I get the feeling you're here to harass and lecture people filing for bk.

[wonkettegirl]

My apologies. There have been a couple of posters who came here with the specific intent of lecturing us "irresponsible" folks about the evils of bankruptcy. I guess I'm wary of folks who have few posts, no information about their own situations, but advice on what others "need to learn."

I have learned. I posted in that other thread and I will NEVER have consumer credit again. Not even for a car.

[sweetpotato]

Thanks wg, I feel better. Do you think these other posters (trolls) should be banned for their differing opinion?

Or do they have a valid opinion that many dislike?

I like to see a open and honest discussion on a topic and not just a 'one sided pep rally'. If I want a 'one sided pep rally' I would listen to Rush Limbaugh and that is why I do not listen to his show because he only allows one side of the arguement, his.

God Bless America.

My apologies. There have been a couple of posters who came here with the specific intent of lecturing us "irresponsible" folks about the evils of bankruptcy. I guess I'm wary of folks who have few posts, no information about their own situations, but advice on what others "need to learn."

I have learned. I posted in that other thread and I will NEVER have consumer credit again. Not even for a car.

[wonkettegirl]

Oh christ, you were banned before, weren't you? I recall the God Bless America tagline.

There are plenty of "tough love" posts here, but we don't need some jerk coming on here and lecturing us about the lessons we need to learn. THAT should be banned on a forum that is here for people learning how to file bankruptcy. If a poster comes on here with realistic options, there will be posts urging the poster to rethink his/her options in lieu of bankruptcy. Take your sanctimony somewhere else, please.