Staying Calm!

[Mark80]

I went to my filing a few weeks ago and there was a couple sitting in the waiting room. They looked fairly angry and didn't speak to each other. I went in for my signing at the same time, and in the middle of it my Attorney looks up out the window and said "oh dear". I looked over and the very same couple was on the roof area screaming at each other. Seems things didn't go so well during their (assuming) consultation. My Attorney says it happens all the time, and I'm not shocked.

However I think the very most important thing for me has been to take deep breaths and not argue about money with my wife. 99% of this mess is all my fault, and it so happens all in my name, so maybe its easier since we aren't pointing fingers. But the great thing about it is my wife is standing strong with me so we can get out of this mess. We are just so happy being together along with are 3 wonderful children.

I couldn't imagine going through this gut wrenching time without my wife being by my side. I just hope everyone who stops in and is thinking about all this keeps that in perspective. Stay calm, stay positive and always look to the better times ahead!

[Mi Bankruptcy]

I agree Mark.. however, we both got into this situation.. It took me putting down my foot and telling her we ARE filing and we are going to work together to get through this. Fortunately for use have never fought about money or much of anything. We have went a couple days without talking to each other.. However, when we finally did we were calm and able to discuss rather than fight or yell.

[hopeforus]

Wow. I couldn't imagine me and my husband screaming at each other like that either. I was the one who convinced him that we needed to do this. I guess it helps that this wasn't debt from buying a bunch of junk for us... it was living a year of being injured and jobless. We know it was out of our control. But we need to be supportive of each other... I just can't imagine tearing each other down when we need each other the most...

[parsoc48]

Yes, this whole business is stressful enough without tearing each other apart. The lifestyle change is not easy and we still have the same problems with finances that we did before...not budgeting, being careless with debit card, etc. BUT, we're working on those...actually I am more than he is, but if I gain more control then he will follow along!
My sister reminded me that when we go into retirement, about the time the Ch. 13 ends, we will be DEBT FREE!!
So keep on working together, we'll all get through this.

[applecake]

It's funny for us because we've had some major rough spots in our marriage (7 yrs). You would think that going through BK would do us in. But instead, I really feel like we're getting closer through all this. Maybe because we're going through it together and it sucks for both of us - not just one or the other. We've given up the finger-pointing at each other and we're just working through it and looking forward to and planning for our "fresh start."

I think it also has helped tremendously that I've started taking depression meds. DH says I'm a different person. I FEEL like a different person, much more able to deal with all this stuff.

[syn]

My mom pointed the finger alot at my dad when things started going bad because of the property he tried to buy, borrowing money from everyone including me and her but I told her straight out what is the point? I feel that even if his second location was successful he would still be in this rut. IRS problems started a year ago and credit cards have been through the roof for years.

I don't know I don't think fighting really solves anything.