What do you tell people?

[wonkettegirl]

So, it's no secret that my house has been for sale for almost 2 years. It's no secret that I've been desperate to sell it, because I can't afford it on my own (it was "rewarded" to me in my divorce). But now that I've crunched the numbers, been turned down in my effort to do a deed-in-lieu of foreclosure, and consulted with my atty, I've decided to file a 7 and give back the house.

What do you tell folks who ask, nicely, "So, what's going on with the house?" The truth: It's going to be foreclosed and I am in bankruptcy.

I don't particularly want to share the truth with everyone, but I don't like to lie and say something like "I sold it." I've posted before that I feel like filing for bankruptcy is like wearing a big sign around my neck that reads: "I SUCK."

[JRScott]

Me I tell folks the truth, about my bankruptcy. A lot more folks have had past bk than you might imagine.

We all initially feel bad about it or the vast majority of people do. It's not that we don't want to pay the debt or keep our stuff it is just that circumstances sometimes put a bump in the road. Bankruptcy is an opportunity to get past the hill when the bump grows to large.

[paintinrosesred]

We told family we will be doing a "short sale" because we fell less "scummy" then "foreclosure".... but we have some family that know close friends... so it seems even our friends will find out about the "short sale". But we are not sharing the BK within ANYONE. Hope this helps.

[PoorGrammyinBK7]

Me I tell folks the truth, about my bankruptcy. A lot more folks have had past bk than you might imagine.

We all initially feel bad about it or the vast majority of people do. It's not that we don't want to pay the debt or keep our stuff it is just that circumstances sometimes put a bump in the road. Bankruptcy is an opportunity to get past the hill when the bump grows to large.

Believe it or not there are also people who know nothing about this option. My husband told a friend at work and it turns out he is in a huge financial mess and didn't really know much about BK. It may have saved his life that my husband mentioned it and has answered some questions about it, because he was pretty depressed.

[magyar123]

Simple answer/question: Have you watched the news lately??

[woeisme]

Just tell them that life is too short to keep trying to sell that house so you decided to let it go back to the bank, then mention that holding on to it brings back too many unhappy memories of your marriage and thatyou needed to move on with your life. That should turn their focus from your financial life to your personal life, something most nosey gossips prefer to snoop about anyway.

[Mary Irene]

Tell them to mind their own frigging business. Your real friends you should tell because they will be there for you, but anyone else is up to your discretion. I've discovered that those who are the nosiest are the closest to bankruptcy themselves. It's like I kept saying when I went through this a few years ago. "People aren't richer than me, they just have more credit and more equity in their houses." And lo and behold, I was right. Now that it's been taken away, we are all on equal ground again. Dont' sweat it.

[Doghouse]

I haven't filed yet but have already told my siblings, parents and three close friends. With more than 1 in 200 Americans filing for bankruptcy (over 1.5 million filings), the stigma associated with bankruptcy just isn't there anymore. Same with foreclosures. It's happening to so many people for reasons beyond their control that we don't need to climb under a rock for getting foreclosed on or making the decision to file.

[danaf]

who gives what other people think? you let the house go because you could no longer afford it. enough said.

[b_girl]

I agree...tell people you are giving the house back to the bank because you were unable to sell it (we also had a house that wouldn't sell, so that's my story and I'm sticking to it)...only your close friends/family need to know about the BK.

[syn]

No one knows about my dad's financial problems except me and my best friend, who I tell everything to. I think my mom told two of her friend's but one is going through a similiar deal like we are. Everyone knows my dad's other property is up for sale but not that it's in foreclosure.

It's really ultimately up to you who you tell. It's actually no ones business except your family's.

[Mi Bankruptcy]

I would bust out crying to the people that inquire and tell them you thought you could hold onto the house yourself after your divorce and decided to sell it.. Complain how no houses are selling and then talk to them for about an hour... about your problems.. word will get around quickly.. and people will avoid you. If someone else asks..the same thing do it over again..

people don't like to be around people that are depressed and avoid them like the plague. Then when they leave/ run you can have a laugh..

[pageturner]

I am not telling my father. Mother is deceased for many years. Will tell best friend who filed first. Not sure I would have ever done it if I hadn't been there for her as she went through it. Will tell a close colleague who can help me secure more contracts. That's it...