Suicide and Financial Loss

[Bandit]

Personal story: I've attempted suicide twice, and am diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. My last attempt had a little to do with my financial situation, as I had become angry with the amount of money and time I was spending on doctors and Rx's, so I stopped seeing and taking either.(there were other problems, but finances did not help a bit). This obviously was a bad decision, and one I've recovered from, and am in the process of rectifying. This board has helped show that there IS light at the end of the tunnel, and that people do recover from this without major problems in their life. It has made BK acceptable in my mind.

Wow. We are almost the same. I dont have bipolar but everything else you have said is exactly what made me suicidal. It was not the BK or finances, it was all the doctors, it was all the pain, all the perscriptions, the surgeries, & knowing that i could never repay these huge amounts of money that made me hate my life.

I never tried it but have thought of all the different ways & was more afraid of failing the suicide & bringing pain to my family...and being a vegetable with bigger problems because I dont know what I am doing...
But honestly, I feel if I had no family I may have tried something within the last year...so I understand much of what you are saying. I dont know if I have ben angry or just continually unhappy over the situation but I noticed on weeks I had a lot of doctor visits were the weeks I thought about it the most.

It is like the bottom falls out & you just keep falling down down a jagged cliff & it hurts because there is no relief for such a long time.
There has to be some balancing in the scale because it simply cannot be tipped to the negative all the time & expect people to remain happy.

[AngelinaCatHub]

Damn BKOnce, you may get flamed by some on here for that one.....

[Bandit]

I saw on TV where the police were saying when they go to a home to give them the paperwork or whatever it is they do, they have to listen to at the door to make sure no gun goes off. And once they are in the home they have to search the whole house for guns.

That people kill themselves so much over losing their homes.

I think that is sad that people associate their lives with their home. If I were to ever lose a home, I would be at the door with keys in hand ready to leave.

I am the same. The material things are nice, but it is not everything & I could never totally associate who I am with the house I live in. I suppose if some people cannot see themselves outside of their home, then that is what drives them to it?
Or maybe some other pressures/pain that we don't see that makes them associate life or death with their house?

But suicide is up over people losing homes...though there has to be more to it, I would think, or maybe not.

[Bandit]

The coward’s way out is suicide.

The street person has his own theory of life. He may be much happier than many of us who value “things”. Things are just toys that wear out and go away. What most people need is love. That is a fact. Someone who needs THEM. Well, I digress, but as a previous poster said, suicide is a permanent solution to what is usually a temporary problem. What a waste. ‘Hub

I dont believe that everyone kills themselves because they are cowards. Too many cases that would prove that wrong. In fact there are people who love life & all they have, but then things change that make them hate their own life- not that they hate life in general.

Someone said that at one of my friends funerals who killed themself & called her a 'waste'. Surely they could find something better to say at the funeral.

The street person is happy because he has nothing to lose & wants it that way...just a bottle & a blanket & they are happy. Others could never be happy with just that & would rather be dead.

[AngelinaCatHub]

I dont believe that everyone kills themselves because they are cowards. Too many cases that would prove that wrong. In fact there are people who love life & all they have, but then things change that make them hate their own life- not that they hate life in general.

Someone said that at one of my friends funerals who killed themself & called her a 'waste'. Surely they could find something better to say at the funeral.

The street person is happy because he has nothing to lose & wants it that way...just a bottle & a blanket & they are happy. Others could never be happy with just that & would rather be dead.

Can't argue that. 'Hub

[Bandit]

I think it has more to do with the feeling of utter failure and worthlessness - the financial part being a contributor maybe, but not the actual reason.

I can see how failure & worthlessness would do it. Though I would never view myself that way, I know that some people do feel that way.

[PoorGrammyinBK7]

I could not even begin to tell you guys all the relationship problems that we have lived through in the last 8 years - most of which I could do nothing about. They were devastating. I have gone through so much sadness and despair and yes, at times, thoughts of suicide. But now, lines of communication are open again and ALL of the relationship problems are over. It is completely different. Love abounds. So definitely suicide would have been a permanent solution to a temporary problem and a real shame. When I think of all I would have missed... wow, so much good has happened. So many unbelievable and wonderful blessings...

The BK is a bump in the road now - a BIG one - but I know we will survive it - just pray it doesn't get too bumpy or become a sinkhole!

For me, money and houses and cars are NOT the important things in life, but people are of utmost importance to me. I could never do that to my loved ones.

[bmrigs]

I dont know Hub. Im trying to understand your guys points. Maybe Im having problems with your wording, i.e. "what at waste" and loser or coward.

[Bandit]

i think suicide becomes a 'real' option to people when they are exhausted and see no end in sight; stressed and anxious and feel they have no other viable options; have traveled one or more paths and still see life going nowhere they want to be; lonely and unsure of their value.

scarily, i've had quite a few solid thoughts in this realm in the last year. i'm hoping bk will dispell the majority of the stress and anxiety, and feeling like a failure. if not, i've got problems. but i've decided to push those off for a future date, and not worry about them today. best tshirt i ever read said, "why worry about tomorrow if you can't make it through today?"

i'm living it.

Hang in there. I have been through some of the same stuff this year & have done the same things & the same thoughts. BUt it took the whole year to pass for me to realize that I am glad I have not tried it yet & I think it made me realize that I really do have people in my life that love me & care a lot...the things that really made me stronger...though I feel at the same time if certain problems had not stopped I may have tried it. In fact I was talking to a best friend about this & he offered me his hand gun jokingly & I could take it to the hotel I payed for. But when it came down to him giving me the gun, he would not give it to me because he then realized I was serious & that suicide is not a joke- & like you say, it becomes a real option.

I know what you mean though when you say SOLID THOUGHTS...believe me, I know exactly where you are coming from.

but somewhere along the line we found some kind of hope.

[AngelinaCatHub]

I dont know Hub. Im trying to understand your guys points. Maybe Im having problems with your wording, i.e. "what at waste" and loser or coward.

Sorry 'Riggs. My typing is good. I can type 60 incorrect words a minute. My spelling sucks. This evening my mood is bad also. I just got my server up, and the lightning strike has taken out much wire so I'm in a poor mood. It got better when I read your post. Believe it or 'knot'. LOL Peace

[Bandit]

My older brother committed suicide in 1990, when he was 30. I believe it was mental problems rather than financial (I think he was bipolar, but never diagnosed, because he certainly cycled through moods like no one I've ever met before or since then, and used drugs and alcohol to self-medicate.)

Anyhow, while off the subject of BK and financial issues, I just wanted to post here to soleprop since his/her post mentioned having quite a few solid thoughts in this realm. I just wanted to let you know that I understand you are in pain, but suicide is a very permanent solution to what are almost always temporary problems. My brother's death devastated my family, I watched my parents age 20 years overnight, and my father never recovered from it (my Mom was equally hurt, but her faith in her religion helped her carry on). My Dad died in 99 feeling like a failure as a person because his son was so miserable and he wasn't able to make it right for him. My siblings and I all suffered from mixtures of grief, anger, bitterness, guilt, sorrow, you name the emotion, we have lived it. I had nightmares for years, and still occasionaly have them though much less frequently now.

I know my brother was thinking of his own pain when he did this, not intending to hurt us but just to end his own angst, but the outcome was that he made all those who really loved him suffer tremendously. As the survivor of a loved one who committed suicide, I just wanted to say that I am sure your friends and family love you too, so ifyou continue to struggle with these thoughts, please seek help. There are all kinds of hotlines and counselors and services out there, most requiring little to no fees, and it would be the best gift you could give your loved ones and yourself.

Take care.

Thanks for the awesome post. All those things you mentioned are exactly what we go through, though for some it goes on for a very long time & for others it stops just in time & things seem to have a way of ironing themselves out.

I for one would not actuualy try to talk someone out of it, but rather be willing to talk to them about it & make them question, is it what they really want.
Sorry for your family suffering over it. do you think that if they (your family) knew how bad the pain really was for him they could have helped change it? or not?


Take care too

[bmrigs]

Sorry 'Riggs. My typing is good. I can type 60 incorrect words a minute. My spelling sucks. This evening my mood is bad also. I just got my server up, and the lightning strike has taken out much wire so I'm in a poor mood. It got better when I read your post. Believe it or 'knot'. LOL Peace

LOL Im not talking about your typing or your spelling. Im talking about you calling a suicidal person a waste and a coward. I feel awkward that I have to point out your insensitivity when your the one usually that has to point out mine. LOL

[Bandit]

I could not even begin to tell you guys all the relationship problems that we have lived through in the last 8 years - most of which I could do nothing about. They were devastating. I have gone through so much sadness and despair and yes, at times, thoughts of suicide. But now, lines of communication are open again and ALL of the relationship problems are over. It is completely different. Love abounds. So definitely suicide would have been a permanent solution to a temporary problem and a real shame. When I think of all I would have missed... wow, so much good has happened. So many unbelievable and wonderful blessings...

The BK is a bump in the road now - a BIG one - but I know we will survive it - just pray it doesn't get too bumpy or become a sinkhole!

For me, money and houses and cars are NOT the important things in life, but people are of utmost importance to me. I could never do that to my loved ones.

& we just pray the problem does not become a sinkhole or quicksand

a very big bump, indeed. You make awesome points especially on how we would have missed out on so many blessings & good. It is so ironic how sadness & despair somehow makes us stronger & better individuals. I can t explain how but it does! I am still trying to figure that one out & feel so much relief in trying but only because things did get better & gave me hope. Things that I always loved & enjoyed made me smile again.

[Bandit]

If anyone is reading and you just need someone to talk to because it seems like no one hears your screams & cries inside, you can send a PM & we can just talk & ask questions. No strings, I wont try to convince anyone of anything either way, rather I will listen to all you have to say

[Lacy]

I personally have a VERY BIG problem in understanding some of the words some have chosen to use about people committing suicide.. Apparently they have never lost a loved one to suicided. Are I dont think they be so ignorant to use these type of words... or maybe they suffer from some type mental illness their self.