who has been supportive to you thru this?

[bk4sky]

i just felt like doing a positive thread today to talk about who has been supportive and helped you out through all this. The only people that really know are my mom and my BF of 3 years. Both have been incredibly amazing. Sometimes i wonder if maybe i shouldnt have told my mom cause she has some health problems and maybe i shouldnt have told her to add more to her problems. But she has totally been there in every way possible. She and bf basically know that until i pay off the lawyer theres not going to be an extra dime of money around. They both do wonderful things for me all the time like buy me a couple pieces of clothing or by my prescriptions cause i cant even afford the copays right now, or put gas in my car. sometimes i get depressed and feel like im being a burden but i have to remember thats not the case and these are people who love me and its only a temporary situation. im very careful not to take things out on BF....yes ive sneaked a few cries while no one has been around, but im real careful not to take it out on the ones i love. whenever i do mention how upset i am to BF he always tells me dont worry WE will get through this. yes hes an amazing guy. im the one filing, he has no financial issues what so ever but he always assures me that WE will get through it. My mom always tells me not to be so hard on myself i just made a mistake. i know one thing.....once i get myself out of this mess, im putting myself back through school and get a decent job i am going to surprise my mom and BF one day with a nice little vacation for all theyve done for me.

[jane taylor]

Above all, I have been so BLESSED to have the support of dear friends; my two best friends from high school, a very dear friend of mine who is an attorney (who nearly faced BK himself) and my college roommate.

The biggest blessing is that my parents, who were initially horrified that we didn't take their "bailout" and were so hateful to us, have come around and have been incredibly supportive.

I am hoping for healing between my brother and me. He can't get his head around the fact that "smart people" can have bad things happen to them and make mistakes. He is VERY judgemental and simplistic in his logic, but I am still praying for healing.

Also, my wonderful pastor who is also a friend has been so kind and dear to me. She has really been an angel.

Last, but by no means least, the wonderful folks here on the forum who have been there when I felt like giving up, running away from home, divorcing my husband, and "going off" on my kids. I could not have made it without y'all!

To those of you who are still struggling, please feel free to PM me ANYTIME you need to just vent or feel like giving up. Life IS worth living and you will make it.

Peace and blessings to all,

jane

[soleprop]

i love this thread idea - thank you!

i was scared to tell my parents, in fact i broke down crying when i finally did tell my mom. in an effort to hide it from her/them i had stopped calling, and would only email mundane stuff. dead giveaway to her that something was up; i think she was disappointed in the bk, but relieved it wasn't something worse. they knew i'd had financial troubles with my business, and over the last year when they'd ask me how that was going i'd tell them "i'm working on it" and change subjects.

i'd have to say my mom is my number one supporter in this now, which i find surprising. they raised me in a financially strict family, and i felt like this place i've found myself in is such a disgrace to all they had planned for me. but i also know that i tried something, and learned a lot, including how to fail...albeit not gracefully. but at least now i know i have my parents' support even in failure .

[soleprop]

(sorry, doubleposted and want to delete this one)

[bk4sky]

YES!!!! and this forum! its been amazing. its so wonderful to have all these nice people that will listen to you vent about things and provide good feedback. i was so happy when i found this forum cause i felt so alone and really felt like i was going to jump out of my skin, then i found this place and was like ahhhhhhhhh.

[soleprop]

too true - this forum is filled with good people. thank god for you all! also, thank you to the forum moderators for creating this supportive environment!

[bk4sky]

i love this thread idea - thank you!

i was scared to tell my parents, in fact i broke down crying when i finally did tell my mom. in an effort to hide it from her/them i had stopped calling, and would only email mundane stuff. dead giveaway to her that something was up; i think she was disappointed in the bk, but relieved it wasn't something worse. they knew i'd had financial troubles with my business, and over the last year when they'd ask me how that was going i'd tell them "i'm working on it" and change subjects.

i'd have to say my mom is my number one supporter in this now, which i find surprising. they raised me in a financially strict family, and i felt like this place i've found myself in is such a disgrace to all they had planned for me. but i also know that i tried something, and learned a lot, including how to fail...albeit not gracefully. but at least now i know i have my parents' support even in failure .

i was fine with telling my mom, me and her are best friends, now my dad on the other hand- forget it. He would go nuts! He had very high expectations for me he thought i should have went to school to be a doctor or lawyer or married one. dont get me wrong i love him very much as i know he loves me but its better off he doesnt know!

[soleprop]

i was fine with telling my mom, me and her are best friends, now my dad on the other hand- forget it. He would go nuts! He had very high expectations for me he thought i should have went to school to be a doctor or lawyer or married one. dont get me wrong i love him very much as i know he loves me but its better off he doesnt know!

yeah, i haven't actually talked to my dad about it; mom says he 'knows i'm taking care of business.' i know i'll end up crying when i see him face to face though (we live across the country from each other).

dad's the financial guru in the family. he's also incredibly sensitive and loving, so his way of handling disappointment is avoidance. wonder where i learned it from

[BK2008]

This board has been my main source of support.
My SIL has offer me and the kids a place to stay if I end up losing my job and need it.

The rest of my family knows nothing about this.

[BigJohn]

We haven't filed yet. I have told my Mother and sister who live on the other side of the country and obviously my wife. We don't tell any of our friends because the way we look at it, friends don't always stay friends and sometimes friends are the ones who like to stick a knife in your back.

I have gotten a lot of help and information from this board and only have been burnt by only one member, which looked at in the bigger picture perspective, I consider that pretty good.

[AngelinaCat]

Without a doubt, this Forum has been our major source of support. 'Hub and I support each other, of course, though we have had our fair share of arguments.

We have had no such support from our worthless attorney and next to none from any of the family. 'Hub's oldest daughter and husband consider our plight to be a major lifestyle failure for not living the way THEY think we should live. Nor will they tolerate hearing any of it. The younger daughter and husband are sympathetic--both had filed BK before, but under old law--so they can't really relate either.

We were totally at our wit's end when we found this Forrum, and really do consider it to be a life saver. Thanks All.

[csrhjr31]

I have only told a few people. My brother and a neighbor have been supportive, and always willing to listen. Of course, my husband and I are able to lean on each other during this emotional and stressful situation.

Unfortunately, I haven't told my parents. I can relate to "avoiding' them. My parents are EXTREMELY judgemental, although they went through bk a long time ago when their business went under. They would have a huge fit if they found this out.

I also totally agree that this forum is very helpful. I am a very analytical person, and my husband is the opposite. So when he is sick of going over situations, I can come here to read other viewpoints/opinions.

[southernbelle]

Hands down, this Forum. I have only one relative left that I've remotely communicated with in the past 10 years, I don't have close friends to share anything with and my coworkers only look for gossip to spread because they have nothing exciting going on in their own little lives.

If it wasn't for this Forum I would have literally been without significant information that could have made the difference between chapter 7 and 13. Also, this is the place that makes me feel safe because the Moderators keep everyone in check and I appreciate that.

I love this forum.

[justplaintired]

Ok I just came across this thread a little late, but I had to add as others have that this forum has been the most supportive for me. I don't talk to anyone else about BK except DH and he is exactly a big talker. So when I need to talk about it, I come here.

I'll never be able to thank all the wonderful supportive people on this forum who have put my mind to rest, before this forum, I didn't sleep, I laid awake worrying, now I sleep again. So thank all for being so nice, so supportive, thanks for sharing your knowledge, and to those who have filed long ago and still spend so much of your time helping those like me working our way to filing, God Bless you! You don't know, or maybe you do, how much it means to have somewhere to go where you feel like your among friends.

[liz417]

My hubby and this forum, I'm sooooo happy that I found you guys, I think I would have gone nuts already!!! I haven't told anyone else.....