BK is causing me health problem-o's, how are you?

[Bandit]

Bandit,

Been reading your posts.

You are a real inspiration having nothing to do with BK.

Anyone making themselves sick over BK should read Bandit's story.

I dont know if I am a very good example but I know my heart goes out to those who suffer in pysical pain that also puts them into a BK. They are getting the emotional pain, the financial pain & the physical pain all at the same time while most people only go thru one or two of those sufferings & at least some of the debt people make they get to enjoy it for awhile. It is not so with health problems.

I wish it was just a gambling problem or a bad business adventure, or buying whatever I want on credit cards or my own bad decision in a marriage as there are no fun choices when you have an accident or need to get surgery.

AND...if people think everyone can just go out & buy health insurance then they dont have a clue.

you are probably right, fltoo. my whole BK seems to have been going on forever & I still cannot file, so somehow I must have rose above the entire BK/financial & emotional pain for these other body pains without realizing it, until just now. I am thankful that my health problems are not chronic & I will get to file soon & get pass this.

I hardly ever talk about BK any more as I know it like the back of my hand but I am still here, a year later waiting for my turn to hear discharged

so, I think I stay here because of those who get hit with the triple whammy as we dont really know what pain is until it hits the body, the spine, broken bones, open nerves...so if I can get through it, someone else will be able to get through it.

but to become sick over worry about money? well, that is like going out to feed the ducks some old stale bread.

[Footprints1973]

Flowers, you are most definitely not alone...I am also going through health problems (both physical and mental) due this bk situation....but one thing I want to tell you:

YOU are NOT a failure. You are a perfectly normal, decent human being. Remember that.

Keep coming back and reading these boards. The people here have helped me out so much. I feel so much less alone. We share a same common plight...we are expericing or have expericed "the perfect storm" of a financial mess. The Good News is there are many here who came out of the storm alive and kicking. They have a new freedom....and they are here to share their experiences.

Hang in there....this too shall pass.

[bmrigs]

I dont know if I am a very good example but I know my heart goes out to those who suffer in pysical pain that also puts them into a BK. They are getting the emotional pain, the financial pain & the physical pain all at the same time while most people only go thru one or two of those sufferings & at least some of the debt people make they get to enjoy it for awhile. It is not so with health problems.

I wish it was just a gambling problem or a bad business adventure, or buying whatever I want on credit cards or my own bad decision in a marriage as there are no fun choices when you have an accident or need to get surgery.

AND...if people think everyone can just go out & buy health insurance then they dont have a clue.

you are probably right, fltoo. my whole BK seems to have been going on forever & I still cannot file, so somehow I must have rose above the entire BK/financial & emotional pain for these other body pains without realizing it, until just now. I am thankful that my health problems are not chronic & I will get to file soon & get pass this.

I hardly ever talk about BK any more as I know it like the back of my hand but I am still here, a year later waiting for my turn to hear discharged

so, I think I stay here because of those who get hit with the triple whammy as we dont really know what pain is until it hits the body, the spine, broken bones, open nerves...so if I can get through it, someone else will be able to get through it.

but to become sick over worry about money? well, that is like going out to feed the ducks some old stale bread.

Bandit, I feel for you buddy. I hope this bk resolves itself in your favor. Be steadfast in your struggles and hopefully things will get better.

[southernbelle]

Hi guys. I just wanted to add a few additional words of inspiration and to tell Flowers that filing for BK was a hard decision for all of us. Until joining this Forum I realized that it is strictly a business decision and nothing else. I, like you, am a worrier also. I still have tax troubles after my BK is discharged and closed, but I'm going to handle it the best way I can because all I can do is my best.

Try not to let this decision stress you to the point where you will end up in the hospital because your health is the most important thing. Taking the advice from a previous post, I decided to keep myself busy as opposed to worring myself sick. I started using my gym membership, knitting (not very well), cooking which saves me money, drafting a budget, working in my yard and playing with my dog. All of those things keep me from sinking back into the depression I found myself in and it does help.

Please remember you are not a failure. We are all going through something that takes it's toll both mentally and physically, but this forum is the best place to vent, receive moral support and to get the information you will need to help yourself overcome this. Good luck and keep coming here, trust me it helps.

[Cali]

I really think too many people are taking filing too personal.

You are filing BK, you aren't going to prison or something. Find things to do that will keep you calm. If you keep up this way you can wind up worse than going to the hospital.

[bk4sky]

Flowers...i know totally what you are going through. after losing a good job and being reduced to living on half of what i used to, i too feel like a failure ( i know i shouldnt but cant help it. im embarrassed, the stress and anxiety is consuming me. my pays are really low and arent enough to really start saving anything. so when an emergency happens im going to be screwed...im actually scared of what lies ahead for me. i think later on tonight after work im going to do my own thread and just spill it all.

[buchanj]

I am sort of lucky

As an abused child for so long I can put things away from my mind...I dont recomend it.
Build a place in your mind that is seperate from day to day life. I hope you get well.

[Bandit]

As an abused child for so long I can put things away from my mind...I dont recomend it.
Build a place in your mind that is seperate from day to day life. I hope you get well.

awesome, buchanj.

I know what you are saying, though I was not an abused child like you. I somehow dont even associate myself with my BK. It is as if the BK is somewhere far away from me & my own personal being, but I can't exactly explain how I was able to do it. It is like its own seperate thing from day to day & that way it does not effect my life in a bad way.

Perhaps some sort of ego or some kind of love for ourselves involved, that we learned how to use & get through hard times. Not sure how to explain it.

[JRScott]

I went to the emergency room last week with chest pains. The EKG, the blood work, the chest x-ray, monitoring. No heart attack, not even heart burn indigestion. Just stress with some insomnia thrown in, with a sprinkle of depression and crying fits over what seems to be an insecure future. I feel like such a failure, and am trying to keep it from my elderly parents who I do not want them to "find out" that I am a failure.

Now the emergency room bill is $500, and I can't pay it and it has to go into bankruptcy.

Thanks for listening. How are the rest of you faring?

Prior to deciding to file for bankruptcy I had similar problems for nearly 3 years. It was caused by the loss of work from back injuries and then stress from worrying about everything. The best decision I made was filing last year, just making the decision for me was a relief. It was still some sleepless nights etc until I got filed. A few more until the 341. After that I felt kinda good and I felt the great weight lift when I got the discharge.

So I know its rough now but it'll get better

[Flowers]

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I appreciate it, and am feeling better. I will re-read this thread and make sure many of these words stay with me.
best.

[breezyday]

[JRScott]

good luck breezy

[$$only4ever]

Hi Flowers,

I am sorry for your stress. Everyone that has filed bankruptcy had the same feelings that you are feeling, but try to remember that bankruptcy is nothing more than a business and financial decision. I know that it is hard to think of it that way in the beginning, but it is really nothing more, nothing less than that.

About 6-12 months after we filed, DH and I realized that it was the best decision that we ever made. There was no way that we could have ever paid off the CC debt that we had. For the first time in many years, we have a few dollars in our savings account. We don't have to work 2 jobs and a ton of overtime. In all honesty, even though we are in a 60 month Chapter 13 plan, we have less (and I mean way less) financial stress than we did before we filed.

Yeah, we made a financial mistake; but we picked ourselves up, dusted ourselves off; learned from our mistakes and have moved on. You will, too.

Take care and try not to stress out about the whole bankruptcy thing. It is just a process.

[Logan]

I went to the emergency room last week with chest pains. The EKG, the blood work, the chest x-ray, monitoring. No heart attack, not even heart burn indigestion. Just stress with some insomnia thrown in, with a sprinkle of depression and crying fits over what seems to be an insecure future. I feel like such a failure, and am trying to keep it from my elderly parents who I do not want them to "find out" that I am a failure.

Now the emergency room bill is $500, and I can't pay it and it has to go into bankruptcy.

Thanks for listening. How are the rest of you faring?

Flowers,

BK is a positive thing in the end, It's a new start and you get to clean out your bad luck and/or mistakes.

Look at the big companies going BK that supposedly smart people run. Indymac bank is the latest. BK is something that can happen to anyone and I filed a little over a year ago and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Once you file your future will now be completely under your control rather than your creditors.

Good Luck,

Logan

[Flamingo]

Someone posted a very similar posting not too long ago to which I responded along with many others. I am not sure if there is an "Emotions Prior to Filing" Sticky around but it may be a good one to create. To the OP and other new filers or those contemplating filing - I am a super strong woman working at top notch places for high profile people all my life. In the months prior to filing when we realized we had to file and there was no way out, I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. What the OP and others on here have or are feeling is totally normal. They key is to realize that, don't let it control you and get yourself or have someone get you to your family doctor and explain to your family doctor that you are having bad financial problems causing you severe emotional issues. Such as in any other life changing event (i.e., divorce, death, etc.), it can put you into a tailspin that will set you off on a temporary course of emotions and depression. That is normal as my doctor explained to me. Many people themselves just cannot get out of the slump when it occurs as with a long term financial situation such as BK or divorce. Anxiety is a terrible thing and can cause huge changes for you and your entire family.

I believe we all feel the way we do prior to filing because we have lost control. We are all brought up to succeed and not do any thing bad because it would be an embarrassment to our family, friends and can put a "stain" on your life that may not come off (i.e., BK on your records for so long). That is such total BS and you just don't realize it at the time. From childhood we are brought up to succeed in all we do, from sports to hobbies to jobs and to raising a family. No one is perfect; stuff happens; The kid doesn't always hit a home run for his dad, Sally doesn't always bring home straight A's and the baby doesn't always get potty trained according to the schedule in the baby book. Not succeeding in anything doesn't mean a person is a failure.

Take all this is a spot in the long journey of your life as a "life event." It causes a change in your life, whether good or bad. Believe it or not, you can and will get through it and I hope that when you are about seven years or so past your BK filing as we are, you will be typing the same words to others that have been in your place.