Question How has/did bk affect your physical/mental health?

[Footprints1973]

Hi everyone,
I was just wondering (if you don't mind sharing) how the process of going through bk has affected your physical mental health.

With me, the situation of being in deep debt caused me a lot of anxiety. But I covered myself in blanket of denial until it couldn't be ignored anymore.

Now that we are at the beginning (retained lawyer, owe him $700 more and have to take the required debt counseling class online) before we can actually file, I am feeling sicker both physically and mentally. We are above the median income a bit so we have to take the means test. My DH isn't in a big hurry to start filling it out as I am. I am worried that we will get a 13 not a 7...and we don't even own a home....just a car and my diamond wedding ring.

I am so depressed I threw up last night. Then I went to work today and simply could not stay. I stayed two hours and told them I felt ill and went home and slept the rest of the day. I felt guility and worried because management is not so nice about people taking off sick, even though I have 50 hours Paid Time Off in my PTO bank. So of course that adds to my anxiety.

I am already on antidepressants and antianxiety drugs and have been for some time, as I have anxiety disorder. I would go back to the dr. to see if maybe he could change meds but I can't afford it right now. I know this isn't the solution, I just have to get through it. And of course I can't afford to see a shrink right now either.

Thanks for listening,

[momof5]

I cannot say its the BK that has affected me because the BK is probably the best part of it all. I am so thankful every moment that this was an option. Although up until the day of filing I think the anxiety was really severe. It sounds like your anti anxiety meds are not doing what they should be if you are still suffering like this.

As for my mental health pre filing.... it was not so good. I was put on Welbutrin SR in March because I kept having this vision of driving my car straight down my street into heavy traffic. I figured who would really miss me anyways. I couldnt sleep. I was eating and eating. I gained 15 pounds! I have never been over 120 even pregnant and so now I had another reason to be down. I knew in my mind that I shouldnt be feeling this way but I couldnt erase it.

I now take the Welbutrin but I also take xanax at night for sleeping. Its so nice to lay down in bed and be able to shut my brain off enough to sleep. I will also take a klonopin during the day if I start getting that 'sick' feeling in my stomache.

Your not alone as I have read many many posts throughout the past couple of months were people are feeling suicidal even because of debt.

If you can do one thing for yourself just do what you can to get a good nights sleep. It really does help.
Good luck to you... I'll be thinking of you.

[bal_ny]

You're not alone. Since all of this began, I've suffered panic attacks and have been dx'd with depression and anxiety (I'm now on meds for both).

Additionally - and this is the worst part, I think - I've given up the healthier way of life I adopted last August. In August '07, I started exercising and watching what I ate and over 8 months I lost 80 lbs. Well, once the stress started getting to me, I went back to my old habits I've gained 10 lbs. back. I keep saying I'm going to get back at it, but so far I can't motivate myself to start.

[Mom2one]

Laura,

Trust me you are not alone in this. I am on Xanax now since I started having panic attacks, I cry alot and sometimes I am nauseous. I am doing a bit better now that I have found such supportive people here. We are seeng a new attorney on Monday the 23rd. I too am worried about getting a 13. We are hoping to wait until December to file as we need May to fall off the 6 months.

We will get through this!
Christine

[AngelinaCatHub]

Bal NY: as well as Laura:

Please refrain! Look after 35 years with a wonderful company, purchased in a stock take over by AT&T, our whole department was "right sized" The best thing all the books say to do, is keep up your routine. I once stopped shaving, dressed depressed, and slept a lot. NO! Don't do it. Hold your head up high, say this was not my decision but one of the fortunes of life, and "this too shall pass". God ain't done witya till yu daid!!!

Take off those last 10 lbs. Show the World you are above this. If I told you our story, we BOTH would be crying. I've done enough of my own to know. Hey guy (person) they can't get blood out of a stone. Nothing has changed, and even if your bk does not go, nothing has changed. You are no worse off, or better. When you do receive your bk, then start again. Do what I am doing here on this forum, that is; help OTHER people. Forget YOUR OWN problems as many more have worse things going on than you. Become a mentor of sorts. This is almost a Holy place in that it is one helping another. Become the helper instead of feeling sorry for your self. I don't know you but to take off 80 lbs is something I'm proud of you doing. Putting 10 lbs is NO EXCUSE. You are made of better stuff. Get going, help yourself and get back to getting your health back as you are no good to anyone if you get sick yourself. NOW start today, look here and HELP someone else. GOT IT??? (Love in God to you) 'Hub

[badandy]

[AngelinaCatHub]

Badandy: See above. You are not the first. You WILL get through this. There is no debtor's prison in USA. God be with you. 'Hub and Ms. Cat

[lillaimof2kids]

Yes, it's a very stressful time. It's taken a tool on my health also. I now have migraines that knock me on my butt for 5-9 days straight. It started in January, which is the same month our business closed up. I have on worked 1-2 full weeks since it all started. After many many Dr.'s and lots and lots of medication, I'm just hoping it's due to stress and it'll go away just as quick as it came on.

You'll make it! It's just money. There's lots of wonderful people here who have gone through all this before. Crap happens to all of us.

[AngelinaCatHub]

'2kids: There is a ripple affect. Like a pebble into a still pond, the ripple goes and touches everything else. The same with a person. Like dominos, when something happens good, bad, or ugly, it affects many. Ms. Cat once worked at a correctional institution. She was very popular as she treated inmates as people. To date ten years later, she gets letters thanking her how she changed a life. Without knowing it, we affect others for the good or bad.

I don't know who put this place up, but, it has helped us. Your post has helped you and you do not even realize, that. You have vented a bit, and you have told me things that I appreciate in my own pain. Others read. More read here than post. We do not know how many have been helped. Life is a circle. There is nothing new under the sun and we are not the first. Believe me, it WILL get better. Remember, time wounds all heels, but time also heals all wounds. 'Hub

P.S. Ms. Cat says, please get the book, "The Five People You Meet in Heaven". There is a DVD as well and either will make you understand the "Big Picture" of life.

[Frogge]

'Hub your words are very encouraging. I agree, no one is alone in this pain.. this is a trying time for everyone and it's really good to hear others tell their stories.

I think, like all of us, that I have something in me that is stronger than I realize, that 'takes over' for me when I feel the most down and out. I've seen it in action when my father died, when my marriage was on the rocks. I got through both with lots of valuable lessons learned and I think I'm a better person for it. This is really tough, but I will never look at it as something I can't handle. I think that's important.

I started working out a few months ago, and I find it hard to drag myself to the gym most days, but I feel SOOO much better when I actually get there. I can't stress enough to get some exercise, some sunshine. It sounds so cliche, but it really does help!!

[PoorGrammyinBK7]

So sick....

I have been so sick with such horrible stomach cramps and headaches - especially over the last month, ever since the judgment happened that we did not expect.

I just HOPE the BK will help alleviate some of the stress. Since we have not filed yet, I don't know how that will be.

Its the crazy, evil gazillionaire bloodthirsty creditor person who scares me and makes me so nervous and sick.

[BigJohn]

We haven't filed yet, but for me it sounds like a refreshing glass of water.

My health for the last 3 years has been terrible. 1994 I became disabled. 2005 4 men with machetes tried robbing me. I ended up with 3 fractures in my left foot and a seperated right shoulder. 2006 came down with MRSA (the flesh eating bacteria). 2007 came down with MRSA again. 2007 had a bad reaction to a drug and lost part of my eye sight and came down with full blown diabetes (A1C of 13.2). But now my health is getting better.

Can't believe I got into so much financial debt. 3 years this April, I was debt free. Today, we owe over $200,000 in unsecured debts. Hard to believe so many businesses loaned us money.

[Phillymanhere]

Footprints,

I guess I am the oddball in this thread--because once I decided that filing for bankruptcy was the best option, I have felt a tremendous sense of relief and freedom. This may have to do with the fact that I am single (divorced) and do not have an ill spouse or any children to care for.

To the point, I have felt like a 10,000-pound-weight has fallen off my back. I am dreaming (realistically dreaming!) about the future for the first time in years. I am dreaming of swimming lessons, triathlons, dance classes, and a new lifestyle of scrimping and saving! ... I am dreaming (and planning) to increase my 401K contributions and developing an emergency fund. I am dreaming of how I can bring in more money through extra work.

But there has been a deeper positive to all of this for me. Deciding on bankruptcy has forced me to come to terms with limits in a way that I simply refused to do (or was incapable of doing) through most of my life. I have come to accept with a sense of peace that there are many things I simply cannot afford and many activities I cannot do on my present salary. (I don't make a lot of money, but I am a teacher and I am not poor.)

I am learning how to be grateful for everything I do have. My aging parents are in a nice assisted living facility. My siblings are all alive and in reasonably good health. I have my health. I have a job I enjoy. I have good doctors and great health insurance and access to wonderful medicines and medical advice. I have friends that I can appreciate.

Yes, I fell into the "I've failed" mode for a time. But this forum really helped me roll away from the quicksand. BK is a business decision. That's what I learned here, and thank God! ... Major corporations, airlines, retailers--they file for bankruptcy all the time. I don't look upon these enterprises as failures. So why heap all this shame on myself?

All in all, the most stressful time for me was the year leading up to my decision to file. The time since then has (for the most part) been a time of quiet celebration and tremendous relief.

[stressin]

My physical and mental health was already bad before I realized that I needed to file. Depression, marital problems, a failing business...

If I actually CAN file for bankruptcy, it will probably help with my mental and physical stresses. That is my hope, anyway.

[Flamingo]

In a nutshell, just prior to filing I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown due to all the stress and details that had to be handled and the rush to include our federal and state income tax returns in the filing prior to April 15, 2002. We filed April 11, 2002. Then it was like the big wedding that took months and months of preparation was finally over. Next was adjusting to a totally new lifestyle of not being able to do what we did before, no or little vacations/travel, got rid of expensive hobbies and lost long-term friends therein cause we were not involved in much of that anymore, and just hunkered down to ensure we completed the Plan. We were lucky in that we had great family/friend support and also friends with a beach house to which were were invited cost free for a week every summer (if we could make it) to which we contributed funds for food/drinks during that time as a thank you (even though it was not expected).

Almost two years after discharge, we are very careful as to why we buy and do not buy things on the spur of the moment. Purchases are well thought out and prices compared and discounts obtained when possible. We save more. My 401(k) plan is to the matching limit of 6% and I hope to increase that when I get a raise next month. My husband has not recovered at all due to his job loss. He has had to change careers and makes 1/4 less than what he made one year before we filed.

We made changes so what occurred when my hubby's job loss hit will not occur again. If we have a job loss, we will be OK. No more high debt ever.