Financial blues and depression

[Flamingo]

Southernbelle; you are going through a "life event" as we all go through; any significant change in our lives upsets the comfort cruise ship leaving us floundering in unknown waters without a life vest or raft. It's situational; just as a divorce, death or anything else that is a down time in our lives. The key is to realize that, and try to move beyond. See your family doctor if you cannot do it on your own. But know it will all eventually pass and believe it or not, you do get beyond it as hopeless as it may seem. I am a very strong woman with genetics from other strong woman who never let a thing bother them...but I was a physical and mental wreck for several months prior to our filing and all the problems and anxiety I went through worrying about everything. I was so worried about what everyone would think about us as to how we could put ourselves in the situation we were in and I was getting tired of explaining. You can imagine how floored I was when our HR Manager at work at that time approached me, took me on the side (she knew of my husband's job loss), asked me how I was doing and told me to investigate filing Chapter 13 as she had done 3 years prior. She said there was no need to worry and make myself sick and if I had any questions to come see her. I found out later that we had the same attorney she utilized. There are so many folks out there with financial problems and issues; life goes on and we all make it. Here I am 6 years after filing and while our lifestyle has changed significantly, the weight of the worries is gone and the issues resolved.

One thing I did during those bad time was keep a list and updated it as to questions and issues. Having it in writing and not worrying about it and adding mentally to those worries helped me cope with all the details and issues. You can keep it online typed out or hand written and eliminate items as they are completed. It does help and I still continue doing lists like that to this day and have them pop up on my computer calendar daily as needed.

[FreshLikeADaisy]

Flamingo, you said you keep your lists on your computer... do you use a specific program for that, or something simple like placing a .txt file in your Startup folder? The reason I ask is because I've been looking for something similar for myself for a while, and if you have something that is working well for you, I'd love to hear about it.

Thanks in advance!

[JRScott]

I was very depressed for 2 years prior to filing bankruptcy.

I know how it can be with such a load of debt. I hope you are able to find a good way out one that can help lift that weight. I'll keep you in my prayers.

[southernbelle]

I just wanted to give an update. Things are finally looking up. I spoke with an attorney yesterday that gave me some insight on the dischargeability of my taxes. He told me that the debts listed as unsecured will definitely be discharged in my Chapter 7 which will mean I have a good chance at being able to comfortably fund a Chapter 13 and maybe avoid a tax lien or having to deal directly with the IRS. The priority taxes remain, but at least I won't have to pay all of them.

The reason he gave for the dischargeability is because the taxes I owe are Fiduciary and even though I filed the taxes at the end of 2007, he says the unsecured amount would get discharged due to the type of tax it is, unlike how the rules apply for income taxes. Looks like it might help me dispose of about 30 to 40 percent of the taxes I owe. I hope he knows what he's talking about. He seemed to be proficient so I'm hopeful. The other thing he told me was that I would probably want to wait a year after my case is closed because the automatic stay will only be 30 days if I don't wait 1 yr. I will check today to find out if I can file after my Chapter 7 discharge and not closing because the longer I wait, the more interest accrues.

[morallyBR2]

It will get better. Like I said before, we made our mistakes and we will suffer the consequences regardless of the amount we worry. Why add extra stress to an already bad situation? Just relax a little. And in the mean time... Try drinking.

[JRScott]

Glad it is looking up.

I believe he is correct about the stay thing.....

[rfassett]

southernbelle and all of you other great folks battling with depression over this, besides all of the great advice that you have already been given, keep this whole issue in proper perspective. I understand the day to day worries. I run my own business, have a wife that has just been diagnosed with Kienbock's Disease as well as pre diabetes. For the next 6 to 12 months I have been promoted to chief cook and bottle washer, laundryman. head of a one person maintenance and janitorial staff at home besides putting in the 50 to 60 hours per week that my business demands of me. Want a simple cure for the blues? Get busy. I don't have time to be depressed. Exercise has been mentioned. How about volunteer work? Find someone worse off than you (and that would not be too hard) and help them. OK - enough of that speech.

southernbelle, the IRS can assess taxes and penalties while the taxpayer is in a bankrutptcy. But they are estopped from doing any collection activity, ie, levies, liens, garnishments, etc. Once the bankrutpcy is discharged, sometime on or after July 7th (which happens to be the same day as my wife's surgery, by the way) then the IRS can start the collection activity. And if you owe them a lot of non-dischargable money, that collection activity will begin in ernest shortly after the discharge. Your goals at this point should be getting prepared to do something immediately after the discharge to extend the non-collection period. Or even something that could extend, although not the most desireable option, the chapter 7 discharge. I think you have talked about the chapter 20 in the past and that is what I would suggest. Let the crap fall where it may. If you can not come up with a workable plan in the 13, then the IRS may very well be forced to assess the trust fund penalty against your husband (ex). And always keep this in mind. The IRS can not take what you do not have. Granted, they will do their best to make your life miserable, but if you don't have it, they can't take it. This may mean giving up the house and moving to an affordable apartment or doing other things, but if the IRS finally concludes the debt in uncollectable, they simply designate it as such, and put the file away. This is last resort area, but again, the fact remains that can not take what you do not have.

As everyone else here, I wish you the very best of luck and ask that you keep your chin up sister!

[sarankarthi]

((((Southernbelle)))))))

Hugs from me, I have worried myself sick, I have become a hermit, I don't work I am a SAHM. I cry at the drop of a hat. We never thought we would be inthis position. And I am afraid of everything associated with this bankruptcy.

I finally confided in 3 of my friends, they do not live near me but have been very supportive.


Please try not to worry.

Christine

Actually in india there are often supportive peoples are found by the neighbourhood and bankruptcy is not a problem at all... so keep in mind, i have my own soft corner for those ok... Dual Diagnosis http://www.dual-diagnosis.net