Money woes? What to tell the kids

[ssdsco]

Thought this article might be helpful for those with kids that are facing bankruptcy and the post bankruptcy budget.

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/RaiseKids/MoneyWoesWhatToTellTheKids.aspx?OCID=eml_msnnl_6005.14.2.14&REFCD=emmsnnl_6005.14.2.14

What did you tell your kids ? How did it go ?

[MomIcantFindmy]

We have two teenagers...17 and 16. We were very upfront about it. They understood and have bought prom dresses and other non essential items that we used to buy for them without complaining. We even discussed how this happened to us and our mistakes. From time to time they will ask us a question like...."if we were in financial trouble, why did we celebrate Christmas last year?" It gives us an opportunity to discuss money, lifestyle, debt, budgeting and family. I look forward to those questions.

[bal_ny]

I haven't shared our financial trouble with my son. He's only 8... it's bad enough that I can't sleep at night, I don't want him worrying, too.

Thanks for posting the article, though. It's given me good ideas for teaching him about money. I want to ensure that he grows up with more financial sense than I did.

[justplaintired]

Did not tell our boys, 11 & 13. also not telling our daughter, 25yrs. Will be trying to teach boys to budget, since budgeting is our new way of life. Saw no purpose in trying to explain BK to them at their ages, and with our daughter, it just seemed this is our problem, not hers.

Matter of a fact, we are making our boys work for money now, something we never did before. Oldest is now working for DH on his mowing business and hopefully will learn about working hard for money and learning to make it last from one pay day to another. I wish we had both learnt the value of a dollar when we were young and even more, I wish we had learnt the dangers of being in debt.

[Cali]

We have teenagers, 15 and 16. They know I don't have my high paying job anymore, but we haven't told them about BK.

[FLBK7]

My kids were 23 and 20 at the time and I never hid it from them. It would have been pretty silly to try and hide my financial troubles from them when creditors and collection agencies were calling constantly, and when the mailbox was brimming with mail. They were very supportive and understanding throughout the entire process.

[momof5]

We told our children because we had to. My daughter is in her senior year of high school and all the college apps. had this parent plus loan on it which I knew we would not be approved for with the BK happening.
My 2nd child is amazing and very similar to my daughter in their thinking. They are using this as a "life" lesson.

#3 child is also using this as a 'life' lesson. And seems to have become more focused on school work and what he wants to do when he grows up (he's 14)

#4 child is 12 and a BRAT! I could probably have found a different word to call him but I'll keep this pg rated. He is so self centered and selfish. He doesnt appreciate anything that is given to him and demands as though money grows on trees. While I know his age is partly to blame. I also know I have not raised him to act the way he does. It has been a relief actually to just say..." If you have a problem with why you cant have those $75 sneakers and have to have the $30 ones then take it up with my attorney" We leave the store with nothing! It didnt hurt me one bit that he had to wear his old sneakers with holes in them for 5 more days before he apologized for his behavior in the store. He took the $30 sneaks and hasnt said a word.
This may sound harsh but his attitude is so bad that I am glad we are broke! His life lesson will hopefully be to become more appreciative of things. No matter the cost. Nothing is guaranteed in life. And while we struggle with the mortgage and the daily living he cannot always get what he demands at that moment he demands and may need to help out with the some chores etc.
He refuses to even clean his own messes.

#5 child is only 5 and to young to understand but he has learned the value of a REAL dollar bill since we have stopped using credit cards.

[Cali]

Did he get everything before this?

#4 child is 12 and a BRAT! I could probably have found a different word to call him but I'll keep this pg rated. He is so self centered and selfish. He doesnt appreciate anything that is given to him and demands as though money grows on trees. While I know his age is partly to blame. I also know I have not raised him to act the way he does. It has been a relief actually to just say..." If you have a problem with why you cant have those $75 sneakers and have to have the $30 ones then take it up with my attorney" We leave the store with nothing! It didnt hurt me one bit that he had to wear his old sneakers with holes in them for 5 more days before he apologized for his behavior in the store. He took the $30 sneaks and hasnt said a word.
This may sound harsh but his attitude is so bad that I am glad we are broke! His life lesson will hopefully be to become more appreciative of things. No matter the cost. Nothing is guaranteed in life. And while we struggle with the mortgage and the daily living he cannot always get what he demands at that moment he demands and may need to help out with the some chores etc.
He refuses to even clean his own messes.

[sunshine mary]

I told my 18 yo only because her car is a non exempt asset and I wanted her to know what might happen. (Were hoping to do a buy back on it) my 13 yo we haven't told but she's learning the value of a $$ because I've become anal about every dollar spent !! They have both been great and I hope they never ever get caught in the CC trap !!!

[momof5]

Did he get everything before this?

Of course not. Nor did any of my children although we never say no when it comes to sports,music or anything educational. But he knew we had credit cards we used often. If I said we didnt have the money for something he would respond with " use a credit card". He has always been a difficult child and reacts to the word No with such great intensity.
He did wear the expensive sneakers and such but you must also remember that my husband has lost his job of 15 years and much more has changed around here than just no more credit card use.

I will admit that I didnt push alot of the chore issues with him because everything was such a fight. Because I am being more frugal now he is having to adapt. It the most difficult for him but I think with time it will be for the best.

[TX Bluebonnet]

.

[justplaintired]

Of course not. Nor did any of my children although we never say no when it comes to sports,music or anything educational. But he knew we had credit cards we used often. If I said we didnt have the money for something he would respond with " use a credit card". He has always been a difficult child and reacts to the word No with such great intensity.
He did wear the expensive sneakers and such but you must also remember that my husband has lost his job of 15 years and much more has changed around here than just no more credit card use.

I will admit that I didnt push alot of the chore issues with him because everything was such a fight. Because I am being more frugal now he is having to adapt. It the most difficult for him but I think with time it will be for the best.

My kids are pretty good usually, but I have one who is 13 and wants everything! Although he settles easier it sounds like then yours. Not a day goes by that he doesn't ask for this or that. It's hard because we just can't do all the stuff he wants. He had a best friend who gets everything he wants and has all the new electronics. He asks for the same, but he has adjusted to the idea he won't be getting it. It doesn't stop him from asking over and over again!

Finally he is learning he has to work and save for it now. His brother and him saved all their money from Xmas and Bday to buy Rockband, we tossed in $50.00, but the other $120.00 came out of their own pockets, and I was so proud of them.

Too be honest, we have always been somewhat cheap, we are yard sale freaks, so our kids understand what it means to be cheap. They know how to bargain shop, that's why I think we will be fine after the BK is behind us.

[One Half Full]

you can get 12 dollar sneakers at payless!

[momof5]

you can get 12 dollar sneakers at payless!

You sure can but when you put a 12 year old boy in a pair of $12 sneakers they only last a few weeks. This is a lesson I learned loooooong ago. The sole is usually just glued on. Not to mention they are usually just 'pleather' and dont offer any air flow so they end up stinking really bad. If you spend a few extra dollars and buy a pair that has the sewn in soles, a pair of sneaks for $30 or more will last at least 6 months or even longer. So you see.... $12 a month times 6 months is equal to $72 worth of shoes, not to mention gas,time etc... Also up until about a year ago he was able to wear sneakers from Sears. The Kidvantage program was WONDERFUL! if he wore them out before he out grew them he got a new pair!Free!!
In the world of VERY active teenage boys(not to mention I have 4 boys, 3 of whom are teens or almost teen). I cannot imagine making a trip to payless every month for a $12 pair of shoes times 4.
Maybe if Payless offered Extra Care Bucks or register rewards like some of the stores do. *lol*
I am serious couponer/yard saler/thrift shopper. I mean I spend my life organizing coupons for sales. I can leave a grocery store with $300 worth of food for less than $50. This post was really not about how much shoes cost but about those of us with children and the way each is told and handling it.
Children all have varying behaviors and demeanors.

[Stilltheone]

My kids are 6 and 2...We have not told my 6 year old daughter because I don't really want her to know. At this stage, I think she's too young, but I really don't plan on telling her in the future.

My daughter, in the past, HAS gotten everything that she's ever wanted. She's my little princess and whenever we go shopping, she always got a toy of some kind.