nervous about stopping paying..

[graciebeth]

ooh I guess its a normal feeling to have but Im sooo nervous about not paying the CC bills, in all reality I dont even know if I have enough to pay them this month because of a car repair early in the month but its a weird feeling to think of just not paying them. Im guessing it'll feel more 'ok' once I get thru not paying them once or twice but it just makes me nervous to think about it, like I need to scramble and scrape and borrow and try to find the money somehow so that I can pay them when in all reality even if I did manage to pay them this month Id be in the same situation next month, and the next and only dig the hole deeper, and so on and I cannot keep going on doing that forever.. You all know the drill, you pay $100 on a credit card,minimum payment and before the next bill is due you have charged $70 back on that very card in buying groceries or whatever and you really never accomplish anything but the balance getting higher and higher.

Id not be so nervous if I wasnt going it alone,I mean I have friends here and one of them knows all about everything and is totally supportive of me, she's even saw my written out budget and list of bills and what is owed and that after paying bills I only have $250 leftover for groceries/gas/dogfood/ anything the kids need/ tires/whatever.. of course thats not a good number and its HARD and Im so tired of it, would be different if there was something going to change my situation but theres not really not anytime soon.

Anyway, as I sit here I still have my mind turning trying to figure out how to pay bills, that maybe I should pay them this month and stop paying them next month when I knwo that wont change anything and I really dont know if I can pay them this month. yep I know Im rambling .. Does it look any better if I send them something vs sending them nothing? Im thinking it wont make any difference as if I sent them $10 this month next month they'll have added on a late fee and the min payment will be doubled or whatever but I feel like I should send them something, or a letter or ooh i dont want to call them so I dont have that urge but it just feels funny to do nothing, when I know thats what I should do.

thanks, sorry for the rambling just trying to get it all sorted out and settled in my head.
--Grace

[oldrocker]

Yes its an odd feeling. Last week was our first missed payments. But, there is most definatly a feeling of relief though, knowing its the first step towards getting your financial life back together. Hang in there Grace.

[lrprn]

Deciding to file bankruptcy is a business decision, nothing more. As consumers, our emotions get all tied up with our finances, but you can be sure that our creditors are not invested at all emotionally.

If you are certain you are going to file, then it's a waste of your money to keep paying on what will be discharged. Far better to take that hard-earned money and dig your family out of the hole.

Your creditors will not give you one ounce of credit for killing yourself trying to stay afloat - in fact, chances are they've already made cold-hearted business decisions to increase their profits that made it harder for you to stay afloat.

It's important to learn to play the game the way your creditors do - emotionless and keeping focus on doing what's best for you and your family. Hang in there! Not paying gets easier as you keep your eye on the ultimate goal - a fresh financial start!

[woeisme]

If you've decided BK is the best choice for you, do not pay those creditors another dime. They can't take away your birthday, you don't go to jail, no scarlet D for debtor on your chest, nothing really happens except they start calling you asking for $, just turn the ringer off on the phone!

It was hard for me to let it go the first month too, but having enough cash in the budget to buy groceries and other necessities is definitely more important.

Good luck!

[Flamingo]

We struggled to keep all our payments on time and all it did was get us deeper in debt cause we started robbing Peter to pay Paul. All it did was increase the amounts owed requiring us to pay back more to those creditors we "robbed" from to pay "Peter" during our Chapter 13 plan. When we retained our attorney, he advised us to stop paying on the cards and vehicles but continue to pay mortgages and utilities. Our main fear was the banks coming to take the vehicles before we actually filed BK cause we filed two months after attorney retention due to getting our 2001 taxes done and included in our Plan.

One good thing out of keeping up the payments prior to filing was that it kept our record clean right up to filing which worked to our benefit with previous creditors when they see that. We were even told that worked to our benefit because it shows we did not plan for all this to happen and was caused by a job loss/financial life event rather than fraud. Also, any late payments or charge-offs prior to your BK filing date can be listed on your credit reports and cannot be removed since they took place prior to your filing.

We followed our attorney's instructions as to stopping payment. Therefore we had no charge-offs on our reports prior to filing, just several late payments which we cannot get removed off our reports.

[Teddy]

I felt really bad about it too, but I did it and don't feel bad anymore!

[Dirk Squarejaw]

I'm another one that struggled for awhile and found creative ways to make ends meet at the end of the month and all it has done is prolonged the pain. Bankruptcy had crossed my mind a couple of times and then I was able to keep on keeping on for about 6 more months and then it hit me that I was done......'stick a fork in me'-done. I'd exhausted all my resources and extinguished all of my usable credit and there was no more.

I then decided to quit paying my unsecured cards and it hasn't been too bad after the initial guilt. Then, as LRPRN said, I started thinking about it as a business decision and that it was what I needed to do. I've since liquidated a few small items on Ebay and have come up with my lawyer fee and will be filing sometime in May.

As far as creditors go, BOA has by far been the worst. Many calls each day and won't take "call my lawyer" as an answer.

[$$only4ever]

We struggled to keep all our payments on time and all it did was get us deeper in debt cause we started robbing Peter to pay Paul. All it did was increase the amounts owed requiring us to pay back more to those creditors we "robbed" from to pay "Peter" during our Chapter 13 plan. When we retained our attorney, he advised us to stop paying on the cards and vehicles but continue to pay mortgages and utilities. Our main fear was the banks coming to take the vehicles before we actually filed BK cause we filed two months after attorney retention due to getting our 2001 taxes done and included in our Plan.

One good thing out of keeping up the payments prior to filing was that it kept our record clean right up to filing which worked to our benefit with previous creditors when they see that. We were even told that worked to our benefit because it shows we did not plan for all this to happen and was caused by a job loss/financial life event rather than fraud. Also, any late payments or charge-offs prior to your BK filing date can be listed on your credit reports and cannot be removed since they took place prior to your filing.

We followed our attorney's instructions as to stopping payment. Therefore we had no charge-offs on our reports prior to filing, just several late payments which we cannot get removed off our reports.

We did the same thing Flamingo. We stopped paying our credit cards and then filed bankruptcy within 30 days, so we did not have to deal with lates or charge-offs. Our attorney told us at the time that our credit would end up being okay after the dust settled so I am glad to hear from someone that has already "lived" it that it is.

[laurannm]

Interesting post. We were planning on stopping are payments in May, and filing in July, meaning we would be 2 months behind on all CCs (about 12 of them total) when we filed. Are you saying though that if possible, we should continue making payments so that our credit is in better shape post discharge? Or are the lates a little less damaging than charge-offs?

Thanks

[Runnin on empty]

We've all been there, Grace. We're hard-wired from birth to take care of our "messes", so of course it feels unnatural to not pay. Problem is, those creditors have stacked the decks against us so heavily that there is no way that most people can make it out if they "play by the rules".

It stunk for us, we had never been late on a payment, ever. We might have only made the minimum payment, or robbed Peter to pay Paul, but we never were late. Of course, all this did for us was give headaches, heartaches, and create more debt. And we realized what those creditors really thought about us the second we were late, when our attorney advised us to stop paying. Even though we had decades of on-time or early payments, our first late payments resulted in APR jumps from roughly 9.9% to 33%! I guess all our years of business meant nothing to them.

As far as I'm concerned, 99% of our creditors made their money back on us long before we finally gave up and filed. Do I still occasionally feel bad? Yeah, but only that I was dumb enough to fall into the trap in the first place.

They don't give a damn about you and I Grace, and as hard as it may seem, go ahead and return the favor!

[Runnin on empty]

Interesting post. We were planning on stopping are payments in May, and filing in July, meaning we would be 2 months behind on all CCs (about 12 of them total) when we filed. Are you saying though that if possible, we should continue making payments so that our credit is in better shape post discharge? Or are the lates a little less damaging than charge-offs?

Thanks

Laura,

In all honesty, it's a bit of a crapshoot. We stopped paying ours a good 6 months before we filed (not planned that way, but our attorney advised we wait for the 6-months of income to change since I quit one of my jobs), and our credit seems to be fairly intact. I haven't done a report recently, but we're still getting offers with permanent APRs like 9.9% and no fees like we did before we filed. Granted, our scores were well above 700 for many, many years before we did finally file.

IMHO, a person (or couple) who has good to great credit before they file and stops paying 6 months out will fare much better than someone with poor to average credit will even if they pay right up until the day they file. That is my opinion though, I can't back it up with support or facts.

Honestly, we're all here for a reason. Why throw good money away? Use it to repair a car, do some home improvment, pay the attorney, put gas in your car (legalized robbery!!!), anything but pay those vultures who don't care about us.

As always, consult with your attorney, but I just can't see the logic in throwing hard-earned money away when you already know you're filing. It's that mentality that the CC companies are banking on. Get that last drop of blood from you...those wretches.

[laurannm]

Yah, I tend to agree. I still fee a little odd as well not making the payments. I think partly because that pretty much makes filing official for us. But on the upside we know this will provide a better future for us and our kids.

Our scores range from 667 to 702 as of today

[Phillymanhere]

I too agonized some over stopping payment on my cc's. I stopped this month; I felt a little odd at the beginning, but now I'm feeling quite good. I will file most likely in July. I guess the calls will start next month. Not looking forward to that.

One reason I feel good is because I see how little money I have left over even when I do not pay my cards. God, I am shocked! And I see it's going to take some effort to reduce certain expenditures and to increase my income if I want to save more and pay more to my 401K, etc.

I think a lot of people, including a lot of us facing bankruptcy, get way too concerned about our credit rating. Didn't credit get us in this trouble in the first place, or our misuse of credit?

Once we go through the bk, we can start to rebuild credit and within not too long we can qualify for homes at decent interest rates.

The focus needs to be on improving our balance sheet, not on maintaining good credit. That will come as we improve the rest of our financial lives. Worrying about credit rating when we're literally up against bankruptcy strikes me as the equivalent of worrying about whether your underwear are dirty as you're going down on the Titanic.

Fix your financial situation first. Save some money, start a good budget process. Learn to live without debting. Forget about credit ratings for a while.

Just my two cents.

[Bandit]

I dont have to worry any more. I totally misplaced two bills on a different desk then wondered why the bill was not coming in the mail. Go to find it on the other desk when stocking groceries & realized I was two weeks past due. I would normally have been sick & ill over that but just tossed them into the new box with medical bills I prepared.

That is not how I thought it was going to go & neither did I think it would be as easy as it was. in fact because of the way it happened I did not even have to think about it

I think a lot of people, including a lot of us facing bankruptcy, get way too concerned about our credit rating. Didn't credit get us in this trouble in the first place, or our misuse of credit?

For some people it was misuse but not everyone misuses credit & other things happen instead that throw people into the grinder. I never cared about my credit rating, then I cared for a few months, now I am back to not caring. That Was Easy.

Worrying about credit rating when we're literally up against bankruptcy strikes me as the equivalent of worrying about whether your underwear are dirty as you're going down on the Titanic.



Just my two cents.

That is funny and absolutely how I feel about it.

[CindyLou]

You will feel so much better after you stop paying!!! You just have to get over this hurdle!