Humbled

[krielly]

Yesterday I realize just how much going through this BK process has humbled me.

I was looking through the local paper, and saw about 1/2 dozen notices of tax sales of property in a nearby town. These home/landowners are having their properties auctioned off by the town due to past due property taxes. Some of them going back 6 years.

I was saddened to read these, and my heart went out to these people. I realized then that a few years ago, I would have had a different reaction. I'm ashamed to admit that I probably would have looked at these folks as deadbeats, and made all sorts of assumptions.

Not anymore............maybe there is a reason I am going through this 13 after all..........................

Anyone else feel humbled by this whole BK experience?

K

[sharksfan]

Most definitely. When my wife and I first brought up the possibility of BK last April we both quickly dismissed it as 'we weren't deadbeats'. That mentality remained until the end January when we realized that we were in deep doo doo. We had 2 months to correct our financial picture before stuff hit the fan.

[One Half Full]

For me, Humble was not the proper term. I'm not sure that I could describe accurately what state of mind it is. I resisted it but I felt like a total failure. "Everyone else" had the income and the resources to pay their debts, so why didn't I? I seriously started to see myself as a first class failure, and for at least a year, I was clinically depressed. I could hardly wake up, to drag myself to a job I hated. I did such a bad job that I nearly got fired a few times. It is funny but as soon as I decided to go BK, even though it is still stressfull, my depression is gone. I wake up at a normal time, I am much happier.

[justplaintired]

Humble I am not so sure, more understanding and sympathic, definitely! Now those poor people losing their houses breaks my heart. People filing BK I totally understand how it happens or why it happens. That is why I am so happy to have found this forum. I figure all these good people on here are in my boat and that has been such a huge comfort for me. I don't feel alone anymore, I feel like it's going to be ok, we will survive this.

[FreshLikeADaisy]

Yes, Kreilly. Humbled, broken, and contrite...

But I'm honestly beginning to see it as the best thing that ever happened to me, for that precise reason. Before all this happened, I put tremendous resources into "keeping up" and a lot of things that were important to keeping my ego inflated, but did not actually serve me or enhance my life. Extreme poverty has reset my expectations and goals tremendously, and created compassion in me that did not exist before all this happened, I am ashamed to say. But whatever happens from now on, I am much more prepared to live life to its fullest and not spend everything I have on the acquisition and maintenance of personal property.

If I had not humbled myself to take the help that was offered me when I got in trouble, I would literally not be alive today... but even at that extremity of existence it was very hard to do. And I ask myself frequently just what that says about me as a person. In any case, along with losing stuff and money, I also lost parts of myself that were killing me without my knowledge, beliefs and goals that were entirely self-destructive. I don't know how else they could have gotten taken care of, either, had I not been brought to the very edge a few times.

So all in all, I am starting to be very glad. What's lost is lost, but what I have gained might actually be better still. And I mean that seriously, it's not just something I have to tell myself to feel better!

You are already winning if you can see the difference in yourself... even if the cost is more than you might have spent for such a personal change. The world needs more humbled and compassionate souls like yourself. I'm just glad you didn't let it make you bitter: that's the trap. Or it was for me at least.

[KKAB]

Sharksfan, thanks so much... I needed to hear the deep doo doo line! First time I've laughed all day! I think we all feel like BK is for dead beats, but when all is said and done I'm sure it is for the best. My husband keeps saying we have nothing and then says what his friends have (3 cars, motorcycles, four wheelers, cabins, etc) and why don't we? They all filed BK years ago. I am only hoping to survive now! No pay raises in 8 years gets to you eventually!

[epiphany]

I don't think I am humbled (at least not yet) but I never really thought of others as deadbeats, etc...guess I never really thought about them at all.

I have gone from stressed (prior to deciding to file BK) to scared (immediately following decision to file) to unsure (while beginning to research BK) to empowered (now that I have some education on the subject).

I am sure I will run through some more emotions but I can't wait for Relieved (post discharge!)

ep

[keepmine]

I don't think I am humbled (at least not yet) but I never really thought of others as deadbeats, etc...guess I never really thought about them at all.

I have gone from stressed (prior to deciding to file BK) to scared (immediately following decision to file) to unsure (while beginning to reasearch BK) to empowered (now that I have some education on the subject).

I am sure I will run through some more emotions but I can't wait for Relieved (post discharge!)

ep

I never did the humble thing either,
Some of you guys seem to take this process as personal. It's not-it's really just a business decision. Just latch on to that concept and you'll find the whole thing becomes a lot less complicated.

[ameliabedilia]

I never did the humble thing either,
Some of you guys seem to take this process as personal. It's not-it's really just a business decision. Just latch on to that concept and you'll find the whole thing becomes a lot less complicated.

Keepmine- I love your matter of factness.

[FreshLikeADaisy]

Keepmine, it wasn't the bk that was personal for me... it was all the suffering that preceeded it. THAT was *very* personal.

[krielly]

Maybe some are taking what I mean by "Humbled" the wrong way.

Complicated? At times - definitely, Personal?......you bet! It was a personal hit to my ego to file. For sure. I was absolutely devistated. Am I glad we did? Of course I am. I feel like I have a new perspective on things as Fresh so aptly put.

I think some of you are taking insult to the word humbled. Not sure why, but that's fine. This was just MY personal experience.

I'm glad I don't judge others anymore by their financial status, and if it took this to get me here, so be it. I'm greatful and glad to have had the experience if this is what it took. I don't feel like I was a total snob.......but I realize now I DID have some of that in me. Ashamed? Yes..........but of how I was, not the BK.

Again, this is just my personal experience, and I'm glad I see things in a different light now as a result. At least it means I'm not going through all of this for nothing!!!!

[Flamingo]

We all need to remember one thing...there is always someone worse off than we are and we all need to learn to count our blessings as to what we do have.

[$$only4ever]

We all need to remember one thing...there is always someone worse off than we are and we all need to learn to count our blessings as to what we do have.

Flamingo,

You are 100% correct. I am now so much more understanding that to why and how people get into a financial bind.

[2muchcc]

I feel very humbled. I am trying to look at it like keepmine simply a business decision. If I was single, I think it would be easier. I know that this is torture for my husband's ego to provide for his family. When first suggesting bk I told him that without cc and childcare, we could live (simply) on my income. He looked like I had punched him in the gut and said he could not stay home and while I support him. That is what make this so hard.