Its cold in here!

[One Half Full]

They turned my gas off before winter. I've basically been pretty cold for a few months. The other "main room" is freezing-- I mean, you can see the steam rise up from your mouth. I blocked off the two bedrooms and am using them as my main living quarters.

This is a cute house. I will sell it for 56K if anyone wants to live in this Gosh Forsaken town.

---with this in mind, I have gotten cold feet about the chapter 7-- I chickened out from seeing the lawyer-- somehow I feel I will be saved by some fortunate event-- I'm a dreamer, I know. I've been applying for jobs, but they all seem to start at less than I am making now.

It is really hard to think now. I feel like I live in the 18th century. I'd be saved if I had a wood burning stove-- I would break up the furniture and burn it.

What if I just foreclose on the house? I would be able to take the monthly mortgage, pay off the majority of my debts, (not one month but several) and it could take them up to 18 months to kick me out. I imagine I would need to pay the tax portion of the mortgage.

Either way my credit is trashed, but which is worse? Not paying one big bill or not paying a bunch of little bills.

If I did not pay my mortgage, I could pay down my credit card bill, plus have heat and electricity.

On the positive side, I am losing weight. When your body is required to keep itself warm, you use more calories. Oh, I also can't afford much to eat, but tonight I splurged and bought a hamburger. (I'm already on a steady diet of beans and rice, so I really can't save much on food).

This is serious. I need to get the heat turned on.

Or, has this driven me crazy?

[rrockinggramma]

omg you need to find some heat assistance and I am sure there is some available where you live. There has to be. There is here in Michigan. Call FIA asap and get some help!

[Lindsay]

If you have low income, you should qualify for some sort of heating assistance like HEAP. If you have electricity, you may want to look for a small cheap space heater for one room and just hunker down in there. We have a cheap one that we paid $30 for and it heats up our bedroom (with the door closed) real fast. I hope you get heat soon; I hate to be cold! We're trying to cut expenses so we've had the heat set on 60 degrees so far this year and I'm freezing all the time. I can only imagine how cold it is for you!

[One Half Full]

Thanks dont worry, I have space I have a heater. I said I have the 2 rooms blocked off-- I have to wear a coat, but the rooms are at around 55 -60 depending on where you sit.

I looked into heat assistance-- they want nearly the same information you need to bring to the lawyers to start a BK. 6 months worth of pay stubs and so on. I am not low income, I am normal income (about 22K per year here is normal for one person, but you are expected to live in "family units" I imagine). Its a one time grant which would probably not buy a bag of groceries.

I was wondering whether I should pay my credit cards and just let the house go. Would that be worse on my credit, or just as bad. I've also seen people picking and choosing the debts they chose to "discharge."

I have electricity and I have not paied it in several months either. I think I will use the credit card money. Once I do that, the die is cast.

Or the house money.

Everyone says keep the house. I really, really am tempted to get rid of the house.
Being tied to it has really messed up my opportunities for the past several years.

Okay-- I thought of it-- I don't have the GUTS to stop paying my big bills, and STUPIDLY I am not paying things like Heat. The lawyer needs money. Isn't it strange how everyone expects to be paid fairly, but it is okay to short change me? I can't just go to the boss and say I've raised my fees because the overhead has gone up like they can.

DO I have to even Be here in this state to go bankrupt? I mean, you are saying I have to stay here for court appointments?

Staying here is the last thing I want. I actually never want to be tied down by anything again.

Even after some good advice here, I am still in the whining denial stage.

[lrprn]

Even after some good advice here, I am still in the whining denial stage.

Then you need to do some serious soul-searching to figure out why you are punishing yourself by living in a coat with no heat while you continue pay on credit cards and ignore basic life necessities like heat in the winter.

Sometimes the fear of the unknown is so overwhelming that it's paralyzing. Don't let your fear freeze you in place (no pun intended ). Put one foot in front of the other and get moving!

Set up free appointments with 3-4 lawyers and go find out what's going to be possible in your situation. It's just a conversation with no obligations. Only you can do it. But you have to care about yourself enough to make it happen. We'll help you every way we can - hang in there!

[One Half Full]

Then you need to do some serious soul-searching to figure out why you are punishing yourself by living in a coat with no heat while you continue pay on credit cards and ignore basic life necessities like heat in the winter.

Well, it's strange, but this was all part of cutting down on luxuries and such. I don't think of heating a whole house as a basic life necessity. Everyone says to stop buying things you don't need. I didn't have any where else to "cut." I actually did not think of it as Punishment, just as lowering costs. Just now I am starting to be a bit jealous of people who have hot water (well, who don't need to boil it on a stove). I think it takes a great deal of courage to say "I will not lower my heat below 75 degrees". I've always had to keep the house only a bit above freezing here. It's not a choice, I can't afford 200 dollar heating bills. This was the first year I chose to heat only the 2 rooms though. Man, it is cold in the morning. It would be great to live in Arizona.

I have no refrigeration, cold water (no water heater), no phone, no cable as well (but I have the internet). So, this might be cutting down too much?

[silverlotus]

I can't tell you how you should live your life or what you should cut back on or not.

All I can say is that there is no reason you should be miserable. And you sound like you are really miserable. You may not feel like you're punishing yourself but you aren't doing anything for the quality of your life either. And that's the point of a BK... to get relief so you can have what you need and not be overburdened. I can't imagine a BK judge on earth is going to tell you that you can't have heat in the winter or have hot water or a phone. Those are necessities to the court. And unless you just LIKE to live like it's the 18th century, you can have those things during a BK! They WILL be part of your allowed expenses!

If you don't want your house anymore then don't keep it. If it's too much for you to handle then recognize that and get out of it. It doesn't matter what other people think! They don't have to live there and pay your bills. The general census by typical people will be to tell you to keep your home at all costs. We've been led to believe that losing our house is the worst thing in the world. And why? There are plenty of other perfectly good shelters. Smaller homes, apartments, etc. Ask anyone here who has voluntarily given up their home and you'll see it isn't so bad in the end. Some people feel a great deal of relief from being out from under huge mortgages, especially if they're in a home they don't like. No structure is worth your sanity and worth sacrificing your basic needs. There can be others, even if you just rent for the rest of your life. It's your life and your choice. I DO understand how you feel about possessions tying you down. I feel the same way. They have a way of owning you rather than the other way around. And we get in situations like this, it's scary to see that so clearly. Eventually it is liberating, but for the time, it's frightening.

Anyhow, in a BK, you can surrender your house and discharge your unsecured credit cards. You can move into an apartment after they make you leave your house. One that is the right size and price for you and also be rid of the CC debt. Don't you think your life would be alot better that way? With all that burden off you, you could even move to a better town with better jobs if you wanted to.

If you only want to sell your house and pay off your debts and get out, that's an option too. I would be sure that you could get an amount of the house that would allow you to pay off your debts and start over. You'll need money for deposits and rent elsewhere!

I know this is all scary, but in your case, doing nothing sounds alot scarier. I'd rather take the plunge in either direction than stay miserable and let circumstance decide my fate. I go in and out of denial -- it's a protective thing. I can't live in the BK headspace all the time. I'm no where near filing and won't see any lawyers until January. So a healthy dose of it is exactly that. But we are not miserable either. Without debts to repay, we have disposable income. You don't seem to have that and that must be so hard on you.

A lawyer would be able to tell you what option might work out best for you. You have no obligation at a consultation to do anything. It's just information gathering. With all you've said, I don't forsee that you will get any bad news. Besides, there's no such thing as not being able to get a BK. Maybe check and see if you can find a BK support group near you? That might help to network with people face-to-face and have some supportive people who know what financial hardship really is.

Best of luck to you.

Well, it's strange, but this was all part of cutting down on luxuries and such. I don't think of heating a whole house as a basic life necessity. Everyone says to stop buying things you don't need. I didn't have any where else to "cut." I actually did not think of it as Punishment, just as lowering costs. Just now I am starting to be a bit jealous of people who have hot water (well, who don't need to boil it on a stove). I think it takes a great deal of courage to say "I will not lower my heat below 75 degrees". I've always had to keep the house only a bit above freezing here. It's not a choice, I can't afford 200 dollar heating bills. This was the first year I chose to heat only the 2 rooms though. Man, it is cold in the morning. It would be great to live in Arizona.

I have no refrigeration, cold water (no water heater), no phone, no cable as well (but I have the internet). So, this might be cutting down too much?

[One Half Full]

I do not know really why everyone is saying Keep the house at all costs. I would rather actually pay the bills and lose the house-- I feel my credit could be fixed more quickly if I just default on the house. Selling it does not seem to be an option because I probably can't pay the mortgage with the other bills.

I have a college degree and could be earning 3 times what I make here if I went to a city and state where people were paid more. I could pay off the credit card within a year and also get my heat, pay the car and so on if I got rid of that one asset, the house. I am only here in this state because I did not have the money to leave after "doing my dad a favor." I am really here against my will in a manner of speaking. I'd rather live anywhere than here.

A BK support group is a good idea. I'll see if they have one.

[silverlotus]

Well it sounds to me like you know what you want to do and know what you need to do.

I always say life isn't a dress rehearsal, there is no do-overs, so you might as well make the best of it and not waste any time living miserably when you've got options. And it sounds like you've got options. You deserve happiness, so go for what will make you happy and what will work in your life. If I were you (and I'm not so this is just my opinion) I'd get rid of the ball chain, get the h*** out of your town and start a new life and career wherever you want to be. Hanging onto an expensive pile of concrete and wood cannot be compared to living your life and being happy.

Good luck!

I do not know really why everyone is saying Keep the house at all costs. I would rather actually pay the bills and lose the house-- I feel my credit could be fixed more quickly if I just default on the house. Selling it does not seem to be an option because I probably can't pay the mortgage with the other bills.

I have a college degree and could be earning 3 times what I make here if I went to a city and state where people were paid more. I could pay off the credit card within a year and also get my heat, pay the car and so on if I got rid of that one asset, the house. I am only here in this state because I did not have the money to leave after "doing my dad a favor." I am really here against my will in a manner of speaking. I'd rather live anywhere than here.

A BK support group is a good idea. I'll see if they have one.

[danaf]

If I were you, I'd sell everything I could, scrape together as much money as I could, and move to a city where there are better opportunities. Sounds like you've got absolutely nothing to loose. People do it all the time.

[chpxiii]

One half full...

I know what you're going through. It breaks my heart to read that you're going through this.

When you've been so poor and strapped for so long, you start to look at necessities, such as heat, as a "luxury." It is not a luxury. I promise you.

I understand the fear of bankruptcy. As I was filing, I hated it. I hated myself. I had no idea what was going to happen and I had, at that one point, given up my last wee glimmer of hope of even owning a home or saving for retirement. I thought I was completely ****ed.

Filing saved my life and my sanity. When I filled out my expense forms, my lawyer made me put a budget for new clothes every months. See, I too had gotten so poor that I considered things like clothes a luxury. They're not a luxury. They are part of self care that everyone deserves and has a right to. (I'm not talking Aramani suits and Givannci dresses either.) But decent clothing. Heat in the winter. *Food.*

When you wrote about how you "splurged" on a hamburger I remembered how I grew up and how a hamburger was considered splurging. Your post took me back to those days. I want to cry when I think about you. My mom would NEVER have filed bankruptcy, and she didn't. The house foreclosed on us. And things got worse. Way worse. I grew up in a house with no heat, no running water, no electricity, no food. What little food we did have had roaches in it. It was a lot, a huge struggle, for me to pull myself out of it. But I did through a college education. And even though I have a college education, I *still* had to file bankruptcy. But I tell you, it was the best thing to have happened to me financially.

I read in your posts how you so desperately want out of your house. Let it go. It's *just* a house. And I agree with forget what other people tell you. If you really want to own a house down the road, you will. But right now, that house is destroying you. It is destroying *you.* Let it go. Let it go to save your Self. It's so bad right now (and you may not see it because I didn't either) that you can't even take care of your Self, you're more concerned about bills to pay your debts that you're beginning to think of basic necessities as a *luxury* and that all you're doing is "cutting back." I know that mind set. It's hard. It's tough.

Let go of the house. Let go of the bills. Bankruptcy is there for people like you who are in your situations. There is absolutely no reason for you to live like this - physically, mentally, emotionally. It's eating you up. Things... things like a house, cars, etc. they do tie us down. They tie us down spiritually. That house isn't a home, it's an anchor around your neck drowning you. I'm sitting here thinking about you and I want to cry because I've been there - I've lived like that. And you deserve so much better.

Let it go. And then you can be free.

[Griff]

Sell the house and everything else you don't need. If you are looking at getting out of your current situation and moving to a new location you have nothing to gain by keeping those things that tie you down. A BK should be the last option but it sounds like you still have assests that you could use to turn things around.

[WantToBeDebtFre]

Please talk to a bankruptcy attorney as soon as possible. Are you living like this just to pay credit card and other bills? If you filed bankrupty would you be able to afford heat for your home and hot water? These are the questions you need to ask yourself. If all your debt went away and you could live better who cares if your credit is damaged, at least you'll be able to live a better life. I'll be praying for you. I hope everything works out.

[One Half Full]

A BK should be the last option but it sounds like you still have assests that you could use to turn things around.

The assets are "a job" that pays too little to live on, and a college education which gets me nothing here. I might be able to dredge up 300 dollars from a (few) garage sales. I have a tiny retirement account that will probably last all of a few months after retirement. The way companies raid 401 K's I am not too hopeful it will last that long. That's it.

[Catriona]

IMHO, your house is not a welcoming haven from the stresses of the world, but a big honkin' symbol of everything that's not working in your life. I owned one of those once, and was dee-lighted to get rid of it and move on to bigger and better things. Property ownership is not the only measure of success.

As for the American Dream, you also have constitutionally-guaranteed rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. This house is stripping you of your health because of the nourishment and utilities you can't afford, thus adversely affecting your life. You have no liberty to take a better-paying job that is more in line with your expertise, and as for the pursuit of happiness? I haven't read one line from you about how you love anything about this house. So, there ain't much happiness there.

Do what you gotta do to move yourself out of this nightmare and into a more positive way of life. If the conventional real estate market is sluggish, list the house on eBay! And remember, you are a person, not a number. Whether the number is age, dress size or FICO score, it's still an artificial construct and not a reflection of who *you* really are.