Share with friends?

[Flamingo]

I'm very concerned/nervous about sharing my bankruptcy with any of my close friends in the fear that they will see me as a failure and someone that they no longer need to be associated with. I'm curious to know how your friends responded to your situation.

It all depends on how you yourself view "close friends." Close friends, to me, mean people who basically share your everyday life and are like family - there if you need them and vice versa. You do a lot of things together and help them with decision in their lives, etc. Your kids, if you have any, may have grown up together. In another view, "close friends" can mean people you know well and talk with now and then but do not share in your personal lives but who you know well enough to call to chit chat, need some advice, etc., etc. If your friends fall into the first category, they will know that something is bothering you the minute it occurs. They will want to know what is wrong. The second tier described above have no idea about your daily goings on and probably don't even know which bank you use or where you grocery shop.

No one need to know your own personal business. If you decide to share it with someone close, that is up to you. If you think someone should not know, don't tell them. If ever questioned as to "gee, you look edgy today" or "why don't you go to lunch with us as often as you do?" Tell them you are just getting through some hard financial times and need to cut down or you can say there is an illness in your family that you are worried about. Lots of people go through financial issues now and then so unless you want to divulge the details, you can just leave it at that.

Also note - "close" friends do not think of you as a failure in anything or they are not friends. Close friends are there for you in anything - from minor to major events in your life and they are the ones that will come to your aid at 3:00 a.m. if you need help. Any friend who turns away from you due to filing bankruptcy is not a friend.