Just Need to Vent

[SecondChanceGal]

##

[FreshLikeADaisy]

I know it may not seem like cold comfort right now, but you're better off right now where you are with everything falling apart than with the person you divorced: if he were still around you would just be dragging his dead weight too.

It will turn around. It WILL get better.

When you're feeling a little better, check into whatever resources your state has for collecting from deadbeat dads. I'm not talking about a third party collector that goes after deadbeat dads in return for a percentage, but actual state and court agencies. It varies from state to state, but there may be more help for you than you know. And let it go once in a while. When was the last time you had a hot bath, or watched a program on tv from start to finish? You can't think about this 24/7; it will make you crazy. Focus on the things you can change now, and leave the rest for tomorrow. Getting involved in your faith (if you have one) or some other kind of free support group -- even online, like you've done here -- would also be a positive step for you, because it would put you around people outside of your problems and maybe give you additional strength and courage to get through this.

You're not alone on this, not at all. I'm glad you said something. Hang in there.

[SecondChanceGal]

##

[FreshLikeADaisy]

You know, you are going to be pestered by worrying thoughts no matter what you do. But you can CHOOSE not to engage with them, insomuch as it lies in your power. I have to do this all the time; some days I feel like a wannabe Scarlett O'Hara, "I'll think about that tomorrow." But it helps SO much, especially physically: every time you worry and get all knotted up your body spits out stress hormones. If you *refuse* to engage in these thoughts as much as you can -- worrying about what you cannot change -- it's that much less your body has to put up with, and it frees you to see the positive and focus on what you really can do to improve the situation. When your brain is all eaten up with worry, there's no room for new ideas. So when you start to worry, stop. If you keep on, stop again. And whatever you do, don't get all legal about it, because then you add "worry about worrying" to your already long list!!!

At some point, you have to live life, even if every other second you remember how much it sucks right now. Live for the seconds you can forget all that. I know it's hard to cut those thoughts off, but I'm having to do it myself and I know that it can be done, not completely, bu enough to give you some peace and allow you to enjoy what is still good in your life. I think you will see immediate benefit. And there are a lot of people here who know what a dark hour this is for you and are rooting for you. Rest, eat, take care of yourself, enjoy your kids, and wait it through. It WILL get better! Good luck!!!