So I told my ex about my BK

[LifeNLemons]

To say he wasn't happy is putting it nicely. Apparently I ALWAYS bail out when things aren't going good for me. I never try to fix the problem. Hmmmm.... seems to me that him not paying the mortgage and his truck payment or his court ordered child support wasn't something that I could fix. Not saying that I didn't have a hand in getting me here, but I had help. Ugh!

Well, lets just say I'm glad its over.

[FreshLikeADaisy]

From the way you wrote in another post, I kinda figured he'd bust a gasket when you told him. But it's HIS busted gasket anymore, now ain't it?

I *applaud* you for bailing out when things aren't good for you! While some people certainly do unfurl the parachute early, a guy who quits his job to refrain from having to feed his own children is not worth hanging in there for, know what I mean? Don't let him guilt you on this... or anything else. To me -- and your thoughts might be different -- he lost his moral authority completely and permanently when he forsaked the welfare of his children just to spite you. This is not someone whom I would allow the privilege of making moral judgements on my decisions. I hope you brush it off and keep on truckin.

[coma]

You are trying to fix the problem. Bankruptcy is a fix, albeit not one that is quick or easy. You took responsibility to do something rather than bury your head in the sand. Filing is not a cop out, and there comes a point when we realize that we're spinning our wheels, and we have to do something drastic to be able to make our furture better.

Hang in there...

[chpxiii]

LNL,

What FLAD and coma said. Seriously, girl. I hope you told him what his part in the whole deal was. Let him have it square in the face.

Bankruptcy is a fix, it is an out. It is the wild card trinket you pull in your life that has a 7 year cool down. And that's a long time. When you admit you're bankrupt, that's a very hard truth that is difficult to face. And you're definitely facing it!

[LifeNLemons]

Thanks ladies. Its been kind of a rough weekend 'cause aside from my ex, my dad is "disappointed" in me and my mother's house is chaos since I listed her husband as one of my creditors. His fault though, he decided to sue me, get a judgment, lien my house and garnish my wages, thus making him a bone fide creditor. If he had just let it be, no one would have known I owed him the money and I could have paid him off. Bummer for him, huh?

But on the bright side, my boyfriend is a big supporter and knows that in a couple of years, I'll be able to buy a house, buy a car and get on with life unattached from the ex.

[rrockinggramma]

make sure your attorney files a motion with the court to "vacate" that judgement and void out that lein or down the road, you will go to sell your house and won't be able to. Do it while in Bk, much easier and cheaper than later.

[LifeNLemons]

make sure your attorney files a motion with the court to "vacate" that judgement and void out that lein or down the road, you will go to sell your house and won't be able to. Do it while in Bk, much easier and cheaper than later.

I don't have an attorney. Do I do this through BK? I'm not keeping the house. There's negative equity in the place and its an hour from where I live. I've marked it as surrendered. My ex husband still lives there and is responsible for half of the judgment.

[chpxiii]

But on the bright side, my boyfriend is a big supporter and knows that in a couple of years, I'll be able to buy a house, buy a car and get on with life unattached from the ex.

My boyfriend is my biggest cheerleader!

He's the one that encouraged me to save, get out of Chapter 13 as early as possible, knows my professional skills better than I do and reminds me of them - which has encouraged me to get a far better paying job, and has given me hope for the first time in my life that I can own a house.

I love him so very much. I want to cry as I type this.

[rrockinggramma]

well then the lein on the house will be your ex's problem when the house is sold, or the banks. LOLOL No you don't need to worry about it all if you are letting it go.

[FreshLikeADaisy]

...His fault though, he decided to sue me, get a judgment, lien my house and garnish my wages, thus making him a bone fide creditor. If he had just let it be, no one would have known I owed him the money and I could have paid him off. Bummer for him, huh?

I think that is just delicious.

Normally I'm not one for spite, but that right there is the wheel of karma finally rolling over someone ELSE'S neck, and thus a thing of great beauty. One of nature's little miracles, one might say.

[isitreal]

I don't have an attorney.

Maybe it's just me, but I think trying to do this without an attorney is a mistake. The attorneys do this regularly and know how they can bend the system and keep you from getting raked over the coals. Sure, they cost money, but they are worth it.

I wouldn't recommend surgery on yourself either, btw

[FreshLikeADaisy]

Maybe it's just me, but I think trying to do this without an attorney is a mistake. The attorneys do this regularly and know how they can bend the system and keep you from getting raked over the coals. Sure, they cost money, but they are worth it.

I wouldn't recommend surgery on yourself either, btw

Some of us simply have no choice; for whatever reason we just don't have the cash to hire a second fool.

There are many people who have filed Ch7 pro se successfully and without problems, and quite frankly the fewer assets you have the less risk is involved. I wouldn't recommend it for anyone who gets all nellie at the sight of a form, but if you're a straightforward no-asset Ch7 it's not as hard as you might think.

Also, I know I've posted this before, but when I was looking through case after case in order to prepare for filing pro se, not every attorney was worth it. By far. Not to mention all the horror stories I've heard about client abandonment, shoving people who couldn't afford it into 13s, etc. To borrow your analogy, if I needed an emergency appendectomy and the only surgeon available wanted $1000 upfront, yeah I'd pick up the knife. It's been done before, and better than waiting to die.

In a sense, when you have absolutely *nothing* left and the creditors are hounding like sharks and calling your relatives and you're hours away from having your transportation to and from work repo'd and it's just getting worse by the minute, there's nothing you can do but give it a shot: it's better than the alternative.

One last point: I've heard of many (not just one or two) being praised by clerks and trustees for being more prepared than the attorneys they see on a regular basis. It's really not (to borrow your analogy again) brain surgery.

[LifeNLemons]

I've heard of many (not just one or two) being praised by clerks and trustees for being more prepared than the attorneys they see on a regular basis.

Which was exactly what the clerk told me.
And for what's its worth, I had an attorney that wanted to "fudge" my numbers. My numbers don't need fudging, and quite frankly I wouldn't feel comfortable doing so. Also, he wanted months to prepare a no asset ch. 7. MONTHS. I didn't have months, I had days. Sometimes you just don't have a choice.

Maybe it's just me, but I think trying to do this without an attorney is a mistake. The attorneys do this regularly and know how they can bend the system and keep you from getting raked over the coals. Sure, they cost money, but they are worth it.

And you're partially right there. I wouldn't try doing a ch. 13 pro se. But a no asset ch.7 is a completely different monster.

[isitreal]

Sorry.. I've been hanging out in the 13 thread since that is my case. I didn't take into account a much more straightforward 7 situation. There are so many things to work through in a 13, that I wouldn't try that without an attorney. However, I do see where you could with a 7. Thanks for the corrections!